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A Princess of Mars

Edgar Rice Burroughs

Start date: March 13, 2015

Finish date: March 16, 2015

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Jan 11, 2013 Wendy rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: science-fiction

John Carter is awesome. I know this, because John Carter told me so. Everyone is impressed by John Carter. I know this, because John Carter said so. Dejah Thoris is beautiful. I know this, because John Carter said so. Dejah Thoris is incomparable. I know this, because John Carter told me so.

And for these reasons of awesome impressive incomparableness, these two fine specimens of Earthan and Martian perfection fell in love. The fact that they wear very little clothing may also have had something John Carter is awesome. I know this, because John Carter told me so. Everyone is impressed by John Carter. I know this, because John Carter said so. Dejah Thoris is beautiful. I know this, because John Carter said so. Dejah Thoris is incomparable. I know this, because John Carter told me so.

And for these reasons of awesome impressive incomparableness, these two fine specimens of Earthan and Martian perfection fell in love. The fact that they wear very little clothing may also have had something to do with their fated romance.

To be fair, this is pulp fiction and I assume the “story” told here is standard for the time and genre. Maybe if I read it back then, I’d appreciate it more. Maybe if read the comic version instead, I’d appreciate Dejah Thoris’ jewel covered pretty bits and John Carter’s manly manliness more. But I guess this style just doesn’t work for me, although I am currently tempted to rewrite all my favourite fandoms in pulp fiction style. Commander Shepard really is awesome and would look lovely in tiny pieces of metal and gemstones.

My husband and I watched the movie a few weeks ago and it wasn’t bad at all. Clearly it suffered from Disney’s poor marketing decision, but otherwise, it was a passable film and thankfully it did not follow the story it originated from too closely. I don’t think it would have translated very well in our times. Instead, they opted to make the story a bit more interesting and slightly less about John Carter being awesome and Dejah Thoris served greater purpose than trophy princess.

"John Carter, that most incomparable of manly men, not leader nor fighter nor lover compared him for that moment of being smitten, t'was not her eyes nor her personality that won John 'I'm Awesome' Carter's heart, nay, but solely the sight of her lithesome nudity.

How could such a man find himself lost for words? John 'God I'm Amazing Carter approached the lovely lady, 'Boo?' He murmured, before continuing boldy, 'Bees?'"
~Gratuitously paraphrased by Simon Field

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Jul 23, 2013 Mark Baker rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013

American Civil War vet John Carter is shocked to find himself suddenly on Mars where he becomes a semi-prisoner of a race of aliens. But then he meets another human and sets out to free them both.

I enjoyed the movie from last year and finally got around to reading the book. It was a lot of fun even if most of the plot was familiar thanks to the movie. There was one slow section that seemed to come out of no where to slow things down, but on the whole it was worth reading.

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