From the Bookshelf of Austenesque Lovers TBR Pile Reading Challenge 2016…

Bad Austen: The Worst Stories Jane Never Wrote

Jennifer Lawler (Editor),

Patti Wigington

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Jan 11, 2017 Debbie rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: jaff, kindle-unlimited

As you might expect from the title, these very short, short stories are really bad. Intentionally so. They are the winners in a "Bad Austen" writing contest conducted by the editors, so the authors knew their work would be judged on a most unusual set of criteria. It's not clear to me whether that means these chosen for the book are the best of the worst or that they're the worst of the worst, but they're all utterly ridiculous.

Some are perfectly ordinary events described in formal Recency langu As you might expect from the title, these very short, short stories are really bad. Intentionally so. They are the winners in a "Bad Austen" writing contest conducted by the editors, so the authors knew their work would be judged on a most unusual set of criteria. It's not clear to me whether that means these chosen for the book are the best of the worst or that they're the worst of the worst, but they're all utterly ridiculous.

Some are perfectly ordinary events described in formal Recency language. There are absurd mash-ups of contemporary TV shows, movies, comic books, and celebrities (The Jersey Shore, Wonder Woman, The Brady Bunch, Twilight, Star Wars, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Paris and Nicky Hilton, and others) with Jane Austen stories. There are horrible variations with beloved Austen characters behaving decidedly out of character.

I have to single out my personal favorites, which all happen to use Pride and Prejudice as their basis. One is a silly ghostly mystery with a Scooby Doo-type of mashup. Another imagines Mrs. Darcy and Mrs. Bingley disgusted with their husbands, who seem to have developed a computer game addiction. The one I think is the best has Hermione and Ron Weasley (now married) apparating at the Netherfield Ball. Hermione finds Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's love story wonderfully romantic and wants to witness them herself. Ron? Not so much. Darcy swallows a potion Ron intended to drink himself, and the results are pretty funny.

Fortunately, the short length of these stories prevents any of them from being overly objectionable. Most are good for a few chuckles and the occasional laugh, while others won't elicit more than a groan or a "meh." The mashups only make sense if you're familiar with the contemporary references. Not having ever watched The Jersey Shore, for example, the humor in that one escapes me.

Curiously, the book is filled with proper names and first words in sentences that are NOT capitalized. This is true in every story. Grammar and punctuation otherwise are unobjectionable, or at least as unobjectionable as you might expect in a "Bad" writing contest. I suppose it's possible that the many capitalization errors are intentional, but they're certainly distracting.

I was expecting this to be irreverent, and it is. Probably too outside the box for Austen purists. I'd hoped the parodies would be more amusing than most of them are. It's definitely change-of-pace, light reading that you can pick up and put down without worrying about losing the flow of a story, since each is short enough to read in just a few minutes. ...more

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Sep 15, 2013 Sandra rated it did not like it

Shelves: could-not-finish

Truly the worst written variations known to man... So bad, I could not finish. At least it is true to it's name... ...more

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May 04, 2014 Chelsea rated it liked it

Shelves: books-i-own, austen-jaff, short-stories-anthologies

They mean it when the say it's at compilation of the BEST and the WORST! Some stories would make Jane spin in her grave, but others are hilarious and very clever. I loved Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy reimagined as a Bassett Hound and Tabby Cat! Overall, it's an enjoyable read, if not overly intellectually stimulating. ...more

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