Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape in Our Shared Shelf

Mar 31, 2017 Brian rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: parenting, on-kindle

(4.5) Difficult but important to read as a parent of boys as well as girls.

[Update: After further reflection and discussion with Julie, the biggest flaw is that this is marketed to, and speaks to girls and parents of girls. So much of this must be read by boys and their parents as well. Perhaps more so than girls even!]

Saving grace was that my children are far from adolescence (as of this writing), so it wasn't quite as cringing and fearful a read as it could've been.

We get deep and honest discu ...more

9 likes · Like · see review

Mar 30, 2017 Sarah rated it really liked it

Shelves: american-nonfiction, education

I spent Women's History Month reading this book, and I want to a) give it to all parents and teachers, especially of high school students; and b) possibly become a sex educator (although I'm not sure that's actually a realistic dream for me in the place I live). I had some critiques - for one, Orenstein seems shocked by some things that I did not find to be shocking (sad, maybe, but not shocking) - maybe I'm significantly enough younger than her that age explains it? My other issue is that this ...more

1 like · Like · see review

Jun 09, 2017 Kate rated it liked it

This book makes a very strong case for more and better sex education at school and at home. Read it if you are working with or raising adolescents to get a glimpse at some of the situations they may be finding themselves in. If you're dreading talking with your kids about sex, read it; it will provide some serious motivation.

I sped right through it, but was left feeling disappointed for a number of reasons.

It's not about all girls. It's not even about all privileged, liberal, straight girls att This book makes a very strong case for more and better sex education at school and at home. Read it if you are working with or raising adolescents to get a glimpse at some of the situations they may be finding themselves in. If you're dreading talking with your kids about sex, read it; it will provide some serious motivation.

I sped right through it, but was left feeling disappointed for a number of reasons.

It's not about all girls. It's not even about all privileged, liberal, straight girls attending elite colleges. We could have all learned something from hearing from the girls who avoid the party scene, live at home through college, explore their sexuality with same sex partners, who don't have the privilege (or personality) of taking huge personal risks, grow up in densely populated urban areas, are in committed relationships, speak openly about sex with their parents or partners, etc.

It's also as much about boys as it is about girls even though no boys are interviewed. Unfortunately between the pink cover, subtitle, and the focus on girls' negative experiences it's not going to make it onto the TBR lists of adolescent boys' parents.

It's sensationalized and sloppy (making for a quick and terrifying read). Huge generalizations are made based on anecdote. The author's opinions frame each chapter. Statistics, research findings, and quotes from experts are thrown around casually without any citations. In the chapter that directly addresses rape, the girls' stories are doled out bit by bit to up the page turner factor.

These flaws will make it way too easy to dismiss for people who think teenagers should be abstinent or girls get raped when they drink or the responsibility for not getting raped lies with girls and their parents.

Finally it concludes that the lack of truthful and thorough sex ed is the cause of the problem without acknowledging that the power imbalances in the male-female intimate relationships of teens directly mirror the power imbalance between the men and women in our society at large. Girls worrying about pleasing others rather than themselves, being unsure how to say no and feeling ashamed about their bodies, everyone thinking aggressive and unwanted sexual behavior is just "boys being boys" or that date rape is "gray area", boys feeling entitled and taking what they can get -it's all so much bigger than sex ed! (Although I'm sure we would all be in a better place if everyone governing our country had had more and better and truthful sex ed.) ...more

Like · see review