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Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times

Zoe Weil

Start date: March 22, 2014

Finish date: March 30, 2014

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Jan 14, 2014 Dolly rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2014, parenting, environment-recycling, relationships, education-school, nonfiction, japan, other-usa

This is a wonderful book for parents that really emphasizes teaching children to be humane. The book is filled with anecdotes, advice and tips for practical application of the concepts.

At the end of the book, Zoe Weil offers a comprehensive questionnaire that will guide a parent to take steps to act more humanely and to live the concept of, "My life is my message.". She also offers different references, lists, facts and resources that show the damaging impacts of typical American consumerism. F This is a wonderful book for parents that really emphasizes teaching children to be humane. The book is filled with anecdotes, advice and tips for practical application of the concepts.

At the end of the book, Zoe Weil offers a comprehensive questionnaire that will guide a parent to take steps to act more humanely and to live the concept of, "My life is my message.". She also offers different references, lists, facts and resources that show the damaging impacts of typical American consumerism. Finally, she offers a list of recommended books and organizations, as well as a link to her own website, www.IIHEd.org. [Note: I went to that website and I am not sure that link has anything to do with Zoe Weil, but a Google search turned up http://humaneeducation.org.]

The narrative encompasses the different ages of a person's life and how a parent can influence and shape their child's perceptions, behaviors, and attitudes. At times, I felt as if the author was going a bit off the deep end in her evangelical preaching of vegetarianism and eschewing materialistic desires and popular media. Still, I have to admit that I agree with her more than I don't.

If nothing else, this is a welcome reminder to be more kind, humane and mindful in our parenting and to model the behaviors we wish to see in our own children. I often feel as if I fail more often as a parent than I succeed, but I have to keep on trying to be the best role model for our girls. Every day is a new opportunity to do just that.

interesting quotes:

"Humane literally means 'having what are considered the best qualities of human beings.' The human child is not materialistic, cynical or snide, and the latest fad does not threaten to eclipse her deepest values. She sparkles with warmth and curiosity. She is gentle, yet also courageous and disciplined. Her spirit is vital, and her heart is full of love." (p. 3)

"...ten most commonly articulated qualities for living a humane life:
1. Willingness to choose and change
2. Kindness
3. Compassion
4. Honesty and trustworthiness
5. Generosity
6. Courage
7. Perseverance, self-discipline, and restraint
8. Humor and playfulness
9. Wisdom
10. Integrity" (p. 12)

"Kindness is magical. It changes everything." (p. 15)

"Compared to other industrialized countries, we save a tiny proportion of our income, and more people declare bankruptcy every year in the United States than graduate from college." (pp. 23-24)

"...four elements, which help us raise humane children...:
1. Providing information
2. Teaching critical thinking
3. Instilling reverence, respect, and responsibility
4. Offering positive choices (p. 34)

"Becoming a critical thinker means bringing both curiosity and a healthy dose of skepticism to all information, listening to many points of view, asking questions, and believing nothing until it has become true for you. It means learning how to discern fact from opinion and bringing a scientist's inquiring mind to life. Raising a child to be a critical thinker means encouraging her to ask questions and seek out answers." (pp. 39-40)

"Reverence invites us to feel deeply and intimately a profound appreciation for the world, for its people, its animals, its beauty, its mystery, and its complexity. To feel reverence is to experience wonder and awe. It is a powerful emotion that helps foster such qualities as compassion, patience, love, kindness, perseverance, restraint, and honesty. When we are deeply reverent, our actions become an expression of this powerful emotion." (p. 45)

(Mahatma Gandhi) "My life is my message." (p. 54)

"The more we divest ourselves of manufactured needs and desires, the happier and more peaceful we actually become. It's exhausting to want and pursue 'things,' far more exhausting in fact than being attentive to the true costs of our choices. As we free ourselves from attachments to material possessions, we also free ourselves to enjoy the true pleasures of life: relationships, real leisure, contemplation, hobbies, and often more fulfilling work." (p. 78)

"How many stuffed animals do our children need before they cannot cherish any because they are no longer precious and special? Showering our children with such toys does not really serve them, and these toys come at a cost to others around the globe. They are usually produced in other countries, often through sweatshop labor. Their raw materials, production, transportation, and distribution use up fossil fuels and eventually they wind up in landfills and incinerators." (p. 110)

"Teach your child to be a CRITIC. Professor Wayne Bartz has come up with a method to teach students to be critical thinkers. CRITIC stands for Claim? Role of the claimant? Information backing the claim? Test? Independent testing? Cause proposed?" (p. 127)

"Ocean learned several powerful lessons that day. The first lesson was that there are no bad people, just people who have been hurt. He also learned that love requires action, "a strong 'no' as well as a strong 'yes.'" He was taught that it was not all right to ignore suffering." (p. 182)

"He learned from her that relationships are not meant to serve his personal needs and convenience but demand patience, care, and compassion." (pp. 184-185)

"Our children may not remember many details of how they were parented, but they will be able to recall the salient features, and perhaps they, too, may recollect a single moment when they learned a lesson from us that steered them toward compassion and kindness. But while there will be pivotal moments when we teach our children something that changes the course of their lives, it is the daily rituals that will likely have the biggest influence. Given the repeated emphasis on the dinner time rituals in the lives of these young adults, I'm beginning to think that what happens around the dinner table has more impact than perhaps any other ritual in the lives of our children. It seems that when families share their ideas and values around the table and listen respectfully to each other, the seeds for much humane living are planted. I would not have imagined when I began this book that such a simple routine - dinner time - could be so important. Yet this daily connection with our children, the ritual of caring, stimulating, and open discussion, repeated night after night, matters enormously.' (p. 202)

...we do have a say about which world our children will inherit, and we also have the power to influence which world they will ultimately create. When we choose to raise our children to be humane, we cultivate in them the qualities that will contribute to the creation of a world in which restoration, generosity, and prosperity take hold and entrenched problems yield to successful and peaceful solutions. In so doing, we help bring about a society in which our children can succeed, thrive, and contribute." (p. 204) ...more

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