I am J in Mock Printz 2026

Apr 17, 2012 Ricki rated it it was amazing

Shelves: lgbtq

This is the fifth or sixth book that I've read about a transgender teen, and it stands out from all of the others. J has always felt like he was "assigned" the female gender. He has always considered himself to be boy but has never told anyone. This book truly put me in J's position. I felt nervous, anxious, and disappointed right along with him. At points, it made me disgusted with how terribly cruel the world can be. The story was realistic, heartfelt, and powerful. My only (very minor) compla ...more

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Jan 29, 2012 Mark rated it really liked it

Shelves: coming-of-age, relationships, young-adult-literature, glbtq, rainbow-list

"Carolina paused. 'But you're still a kid, J. You don't know what you are yet. One day you want to be a veterinarian; the next, a photographer. How can you say you want to be a - a boy?'

'Mami -' How could he explain? It was like explaining the blood moving through his veins. It was constant, definite, nothing he controlled or chose. You could put all kinds of muscle and skin on top, and then add clothes and tattoos and makeup and hats, but nothing would change that blood."

J, born Jennifer, lives "Carolina paused. 'But you're still a kid, J. You don't know what you are yet. One day you want to be a veterinarian; the next, a photographer. How can you say you want to be a - a boy?'

'Mami -' How could he explain? It was like explaining the blood moving through his veins. It was constant, definite, nothing he controlled or chose. You could put all kinds of muscle and skin on top, and then add clothes and tattoos and makeup and hats, but nothing would change that blood."

J, born Jennifer, lives with his parents in NYC, and has slowly come to the realization that he is a male, trapped in a female's body. J is doing what he can to make himself look like a girl - wearing layers of clothing, and even a makeshift chest binder, but he feels he cannot truly begin to transform until he begins taking testosterone injections. Through the interactions with his parents, his best friend, Melissa, the girls with whom he passes as male, and other transgender individuals he meets through a support group and school, J moves towards educating others, and himself, about his gender identity, and the process he wants to go through.

I thought this was an excellent portrayal of a young person coming out to family and friends, and coming to grips with what is necessary to fully become the person he wants to be. Beam's writing is a little didactic in the first half of the novel, but the second half moves more smoothly; either I got more used to Beam's style, or the writing became clearer, or a little of both. There are far too few books about transgender teens, and this one holds up well alongside other titles like Luna, Parrotfish, and Almost Perfect. I especially appreciated how Beam shows readers the coming-out moments that J has to experience, and what happens when the aftermath is not pleasant; J has to leave his parents' apartment, and spends some time surviving on the streets; by contrast, in Parrotfish, Grady remains in his family's home. Both are excellent representations of the LGBTQ experience, but in very different ways. A hard book to teach to an entire class, certainly, but definitely one of which teachers should be aware. ...more

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Jun 02, 2012 Jan rated it liked it

Shelves: teenbooks, contemporary, lgbt

I am J is a book about being a transgender teen. J has known all his life that he is a boy in a girl's body. Born Jennifer, he shuns his given name and wants to be known only as J. He has always tried to dress and act as a boy and not everyone has been understanding about that. Now that he is a teen, he is hoping to get testosterone treatments so he can finally be the gender that he identifies as. But he has to tell his parents, who have struggled with his body identity issues already, without r ...more

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Apr 05, 2011 Doret rated it liked it

Jeni was assigned the wrong gender at birth. In the sixth grade, Jeni starts going by J . Now a senior in high school, J knows he's transgender and wants to begin the transition to his rightful gender. We first meet J going to a party so his best friend Melissa wouldn't have to go alone. Since the party wasn't J's scene, it's not a great place to meet him. I felt the author through J tried to squeeze in as many facts about J and Melissa's family and friendship as possible. It felt forced and unn Jeni was assigned the wrong gender at birth. In the sixth grade, Jeni starts going by J . Now a senior in high school, J knows he's transgender and wants to begin the transition to his rightful gender. We first meet J going to a party so his best friend Melissa wouldn't have to go alone. Since the party wasn't J's scene, it's not a great place to meet him. I felt the author through J tried to squeeze in as many facts about J and Melissa's family and friendship as possible. It felt forced and unnecessary, since it was only the first chapter.

In his head J refers to his parents by their first names Carolina and Manny*. J relationship with his parents has been very shaky recently. When J realizes they think he's a lesbian, he's beyond frustrated at not being understood. When I got to this point in the story, I couldn't help but think at least J's parents are trying to accept what they believe to be his sexual preference. If I had understood J's a bit more I would've looked at this scene differently.

I thought the author did a good job of allowing the reader to see J for who he really was. A male born in a female body. Beam gets across J's frustrations at being misunderstood and called a lesbian. In the beginning J's a little homophobic. In the end I realized it would be difficult to defined as something your not daily, and then begin to dislike the incorrect label. I wish Beam would've had J explain his aversion to being labeled a lesbian. Since I don't know much about transgender I couldn't understand why being called a lesbian was the worst thing in the world. Though it does seem obivious now.

J starts doing some searches and learns about testosterone shots and binding. J really wants to begin T shots to start the transition. J begins skipping school and binding his chest. When J meets some girls around his age they only see him as J the boy. J loves his new persona. It was nice to see J come into his own but I have a difficult time believing, J never considered binding or testosterone before the internet search. I will admit I midway through I wasn't enjoying I AM J as much as I would've have liked. Then this paragraph that made me happy I kept on reading.

"No," J answered quietly. He focused inside. It felt as if part of the bone had broken free, its sharp edge scraping a piece of rib, then floating on, looking for a new place to root. Could it be that feelings actually did physical damage? Could he really have broken something? Did the pain stem from hearing his mother's words or his own. He remembered what his old swimming coach used to say when the team was aching and groaning but still had more laps to do: "Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional." I won't suffer, J thought. This may hurt, but I won't suffer. The bone settled."

It was almost midway in and worth the wait. I really started to like J. Maybe I was looking at the story differently but it started to flow a bit better. J was starting to find his own way. He moved in with Melissa and her mother, and enrolled in a school for GLBTQ, teens. I love how J uses his photography to express himself. There's a great wow moment with J taking a photograph of himself, and it hits me how much he's gone through. I thought Beam's describe this scene beautifully.

I am happy I got a chance to read I AM J. And so glad I didn't put it down. There's a lot to take away from this story and J. Don't let my critics fool you, I AM J is a good and worth while read.

*J's mother is Puerto Rican and his father is Jewish. The name, Manny kept confusing me, since I think of it more as a Latino name than a Jewish one, even though its both. I couldn't help but wonder why the author didn't use a different name for J's father. I lot was made of J being a character of color. Puerto Rican cousins and summer trips to PR were mentioned, and a handful of Spanish words though J still didn't feel Latino to me. Though Beam still succeeded in creating a transgender character readers can learn from and a good story.
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May 04, 2011 Megan rated it really liked it

Shelves: teen-fiction, finished-2011

Wow. I knew it must be harder than I can imagine to be a transgender person, but I never even thought about difficult awkward possibilities such as what gender to put on one's college application or deciding which bathroom to use. Geez. ...more

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Jun 29, 2011 Lorna rated it really liked it

Shelves: young-adult, realistic-fiction, yalsa-top-ten

At first I didn't think I wanted to read about a transgender teen. But I got caught up in the story and wanted to keep reading to find out what happens to J. Sometimes J seemed like a real character but at other times he (she?) seemed more like a case study that the author wanted to teach us about. The book did make me think though, so I guess the author achieved her purpose. ...more

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Jan 21, 2012 Chris rated it really liked it

Shelves: ya

Being born male in a female body and dealing with that, silently, for your whole life....that's where we meet J at the beginning of his senior year. This book puts you inside J's head...and is intriguing and illuminating. Very much enjoyed. Fascinating. ...more

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