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My Burden Is Light

Robert Fantina

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Jul 16, 2012 Darcie rated it really liked it

It is rare now-a-days to read a book that truly touches you deeply, for me, My Burden is Light is one of those books. The basis of the book is a controversial topic that I believe needs to be put out there, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, to help people understand such a complex matter. With the spotlight being on the LDS church with a Mormon man running for president and the blogs popping up online about gay men who are happily married to women, this book could not have been written at a It is rare now-a-days to read a book that truly touches you deeply, for me, My Burden is Light is one of those books. The basis of the book is a controversial topic that I believe needs to be put out there, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, to help people understand such a complex matter. With the spotlight being on the LDS church with a Mormon man running for president and the blogs popping up online about gay men who are happily married to women, this book could not have been written at a better time.

My Burden is Light was written from the perspective of a 19 year old who decides to come out as a gay man. On the eve of returning home for summer break after being away at college, Bryant Harkin tells his twin brother Will that he is gay and will not be going on a mission for the LDS church. He expects Will to be surprised and maybe a little distant and angry at first, but never did he think his best friend, his brother, would turn his back on him, hurting and rejecting him the way Will does. The first part of the book is such a sad and emotional read, I couldn’t help but mourn with Bryant for the loss he felt from Will’s complete indifference and at times, even rude behaviors. I could feel the uncomfortable energy while reading about the questions and comments Bryant receives from friend and family who are unaware of his situation and are wondering why he is not going on a mission.

Bryant keeps his secret from his family, while trying to keep up the façade of everything being ok, when everyone can clearly feel the tension and anger coming from Will. While Bryant does eventually come out to several people in his life, it was hard for him to feel comfortable talking about it because of the original reaction from his brother. I followed Bryant through his difficult journey of self discovery, truly experiencing an emptiness as Bryant struggles with feeling lonely and depressed by the lack of support he received from his twin, to feeling elated when he finds comfort in amazing friendships and real happiness when he comes to accept and embrace the fact that no matter how hard he pushes for things to be the same in his life, not all of them can or will be and that’s ok.

I was really frustrated by Will all the way through the book, especially during one of the first Christmases the family shares together in the novel, where he makes a snarky comment to Bryant implying that because he was gay, he was also a pervert. It made me sad to think that some people out there truly believe this to be fact. While Bryant comes from a family with several siblings, the one that really sticks out for me was Teddy. He knew that there was something going on and he pushed until he got to the truth. One of my favorite lines from the book is when Teddy is trying to get Bryant to tell him what’s going on and Bryant is very adamant about not letting him in. Teddy finally comes out and says what I had been hoping to hear since the beginning of the book, “I’m not Will, Bry”, Teddy said. “I promise you, whatever it is, it’s ok. I love you. Nothing will change that.” Those are some powerful words and I admit, I had tears in my eyes reading them!

Bryant’s friend Lance is also an important part of the story for Bryant. He is one of the first friends Bryant makes when he returns to school. While Bryant tries to avoid being out with other people his age, not wanting to be put into the awkward position of having to explain why he doesn’t date, Lance is the one pushing him to get out there and make new friends. Bryant struggles with the decision to tell Lance that he is gay, worrying he might get the same reaction from his friend that he did from his brother. He is surprised and maybe a little shocked when Lance is totally accepting and even offers to help come up with a plan to help Bryant socialize without having to worry about being put on the “dating” spot.

I think that the author did a fantastic job writing with such eloquence and emotion. I really connected with Bryant and could not get his story out of my head. Fantina gives you great insight into the struggles of a gay man in the Mormon Church, a man who is trying to hold onto what he believes without losing who he is. While not everyone who reads this book will understand everything that is discussed, especially if they are not LDS, we can all understand the need to feel accepted and loved by the people we care about most.
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