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  • #1
    Groucho Marx
    “When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: friends, humor, jail
    10184 likes

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  • #2
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    147989 likes

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  • #3
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    37974 likes

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  • #5
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13066 likes

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  • #6
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64559 likes

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  • #7
    Eleanor Roosevelt
    “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
    ― Eleanor Roosevelt
    tags: attributed-no-source, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt
    40748 likes

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  • #7
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24406 likes

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  • #8
    Terry Pratchett
    “Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Jingo
    tags: humor, proverb
    12899 likes

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  • #9
    Mark Twain
    “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: humor, politics
    9097 likes

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  • #10
    Mark Twain
    “I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: classic-insult, funeral, funny, humor
    7622 likes

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  • #11
    Edgar Allan Poe
    “I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.”
    ― Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia
    tags: faith, fool, humor, self-confidence, self-irony
    6452 likes

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  • #12
    Winston S. Churchill
    “My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: humor, taste
    5972 likes

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  • #13
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26431 likes

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  • #14
    Mark Twain
    “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: lies, lying, memory, truth
    91945 likes

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  • #15
    Sigmund Freud
    “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
    ― Sigmund Freud
    tags: inspirational-quotes
    6417 likes

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  • #16
    “The bad news is nothing lasts forever,
    The good news is nothing lasts forever.”
    ― J. Cole
    tags: bad-news, forever, good-news, nothing, nothing-lasts-forever
    46 likes



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friends
humor
jail
attributed-no-source
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
animals
books
dogs
creativity
misattributed-to-einstein
paraphrased
insanity
life
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
proverb
politics
classic-insult
funeral
funny
faith
fool
self-confidence
self-irony
taste
lies
lying
memory
truth
inspirational-quotes
bad-news
forever
good-news
nothing
nothing-lasts-forever