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  • #1
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32131 likes

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  • #2
    Douglas Adams
    “For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
    tags: humour
    10125 likes

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  • #3
    Douglas Adams
    “It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humour
    1693 likes

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  • #4
    Gertrude Stein
    “Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something. ”
    ― Gertrude Stein
    tags: humour
    428 likes

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  • #5
    Helen Fielding
    “It struck me as pretty ridiculous to be called Mr. Darcy and to stand on your own looking snooty at a party. It's like being called Heathcliff and insisting on spending the entire evening in the garden, shouting "Cathy" and banging your head against a tree.”
    ― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary
    tags: heathcliff, humour, mr-darcy, snooty, wuthering-heights
    1379 likes

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  • #6
    Terry Pratchett
    “Jeremy tried to be an interesting person. The trouble was that he was the kind of person who, having decided to be an interesting person, would first of all try to find a book called How to Be An Interesting Person and then see whether there were any courses available.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
    tags: humour, self-help
    83 likes

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  • #7
    Stephen Colbert
    “Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.”
    ― Stephen Colbert
    tags: backstories, film, humour, sequels, twitter
    12 likes

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  • #8
    Stephen Colbert
    “NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ”
    ― Stephen Colbert
    tags: climate-change-denial, global-warming, humour, law, north-carolina, politics, right-wing-politics, twitter
    23 likes

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  • #9
    Ray Cummings
    “Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.”
    ― Ray Cummings, The Girl in the Golden Atom
    tags: time
    859 likes

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  • #10
    Karl Pilkington
    “It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.”
    ― Karl Pilkington, An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington
    tags: archaeology, clutter, history, humour
    30 likes

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  • #11
    J.K. Rowling
    “Just think how many books I could've sold if Harry had been a bit more creative with his wand." -[On the success of 50 Shades of Grey]”
    ― J.K. Rowling
    tags: fifty-shades-of-grey, humour, interview, j-k-rowling
    318 likes

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  • #12
    Karl Pilkington
    “I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.”
    ― Karl Pilkington
    tags: humour
    50 likes

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  • #13
    “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of being well-preserved, but to skid sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, still screaming, 'Whoo what a ride!”
    ― Theresa Hollis
    tags: horror, humour, thriller
    2 likes

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  • #14
    Rick Riordan
    “With great power comes a great need to take a nap.”
    ― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian
    tags: humour, naps, power, sleep
    41 likes

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  • #15
    J.K. Rowling
    “Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
    "Yes," said Harry stiffly.
    "Yes, sir."
    "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
    The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
    tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm
    15206 likes

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  • #16
    J.K. Rowling
    “The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
    tags: truth
    16400 likes

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  • #17
    J.K. Rowling
    “He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    tags: humor, shampoo
    10201 likes

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  • #18
    J.K. Rowling
    “Odd words floated back to them over the hundreds of heads. "Nobility of spirit"..."intellectual contribution"..."greatness of heart"...It did not mean very much. It had little to do with Dumbledore as Harry had known him. He suddenly remembered Dumbledore's idea of a few words, "nitwit," "oddment," "blubber," and "tweak," and again had to suppress a grin...”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
    13 likes

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  • #19
    J.K. Rowling
    “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.”
    ― JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
    tags: death, love
    4425 likes

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  • #20
    Robert Frost
    “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
    ― Robert Frost
    7179 likes

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  • #21
    Eleanor Roosevelt
    “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
    ― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life
    tags: confidence
    6695 likes

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  • #22
    W.C. Fields
    “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
    ― W.C. Fields
    7419 likes

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  • #23
    Sarah Dessen
    “There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.”
    ― Sarah Dessen, Just Listen
    tags: just-litsen, sarah-dessen, time
    6523 likes

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  • #25
    “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.”
    ― Olin Miller
    tags: confidence, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt, others, think, worry
    5458 likes

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  • #26
    Arthur Conan Doyle
    “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
    ― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes
    tags: inspirational
    6778 likes

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  • #27
    Mahatma Gandhi
    “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”
    ― Mahatma Gandhi
    tags: freedom, humanity, mistakes
    5691 likes

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  • #28
    Rick Riordan
    “Humans see what they want to see.”
    ― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief
    tags: humanity, humans, mankind, perception, self-delusion, willful-ignorance
    2383 likes

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  • #29
    “Cordelia: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
    Oz: We attack the Mayor with hummus.
    Cordelia: I stand corrected.
    Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.”
    ― Mutant Enemy/ Joss Whedon
    tags: humour, perspective
    185 likes

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  • #30
    John Lennon
    “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
    ― John Lennon
    tags: inspirational, life
    8112 likes

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  • #31
    Frank Zappa
    “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
    ― Frank Zappa
    tags: education, sex
    2694 likes



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Tags From Jasleen’s Quotes

deadlines
humor
humour
work
writing
heathcliff
mr-darcy
snooty
wuthering-heights
self-help
backstories
film
sequels
twitter
climate-change-denial
global-warming
law
north-carolina
politics
right-wing-politics
time
archaeology
clutter
history
fifty-shades-of-grey
interview
j-k-rowling
horror
thriller
naps
power
sleep
rebellion
sarcasm
truth
shampoo
death
love
confidence
just-litsen
sarah-dessen
misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt
others
think
worry
inspirational
freedom
humanity
mistakes
humans
mankind
perception
self-delusion
willful-ignorance
perspective
life
education
sex