Terminalcoffee discussion

*races to see if I'm still on Barbs friend list*

I like to keep my list small.

Me too! Even then I struggle to keep up with everyone.

Gail wrote: "*races to see if I'm still on Barbs friend list*"

Hee. Gail. I did, too. :)

I made the mistake of taking pity friends on Facebook. It could be one of the reasons I am disinterested in most of the activity on there. I wish I could axe but I know I will feel bad about it. Silly, I know.

Here, I have been conservative. I am enjoying building my friendships and it makes getting a friend request all the more special. Makes me feel all warm and fluffy.

::sends warmth and fluffiness to susan::

::smiles like crazy with warmth and fluffiness while glomping Phil::

Susan wrote: "Gail wrote: "*races to see if I'm still on Barbs friend list*"

Hee. Gail. I did, too. :)

I made the mistake of taking pity friends on Facebook. It could be one of the reasons I am disinterest..."

One of the cool things about facebook is you can limit a person's posts on your feed. You can also set up that friend's profile so that it can go on a "limited viewing" list and only see the stuff you allow them to see. I've used that before and I like that feature.

I did a goofy huuuuuuge deletefest a few years ago after I was heartbroken. It made sense to me at the time. Afterwards, when I was regretting some of the deleting I did I was just embarrassed for having to ask people to be my friend again. Ever since then I don't delete people... anyone. I just choose to not follow them.

And my feelings do get hurt when I get deleted - as in I'm still grieving over a particular friend who deleted me last January here and on facebook. I know it's just the internet, but hey... I'm being honest.

Heidi, I was just talking about that feature of Facebook with my sister and that I needed to take the time to do it on my account.

I would be sad if someone deleted me. What did I do? What is wrong with me? Why am I not cool enough to be their friend? All ridiculous but I would still feel that way.

::Waves at Misha::

Hi, Misha!

:)

I would be sad if you deleted me, Barb. We've never met, but I'd still be sad.

I am glad other people feel this way, too.

I set up a challenge question. That usually keeps friend collectors away.

Someone who wants to be my friend will have to answer it.


However, I will go around once and awhile and purge if there has been no interaction. I spell out what I want as a friend on my profile so they shouldn’t be surprised when it happens. The first to go are the people who have more friends than books.

With Facebook I accept anyone because I really don’t use it much. I found out though that if someone goes through facebook they can somehow avoid my challenge question and show up as a friend automatically on goodreads.

Barb wrote: "I would never delete you either Heiderson. You are an actual friend. I don't have to meet you to consider you a friend!"

My thoughts exactly, Barb-friend. So thus, I was pretty distressed when I was deleted by someone I considered to be a friend last year. When I think about it lately, I'm either sad or pissed off about it.

Heidi wrote: "Barb wrote: "I would never delete you either Heiderson. You are an actual friend. I don't have to meet you to consider you a friend!"

My thoughts exactly, Barb-friend. So thus, I was pretty dis..."

Don't waste your time thinking about it! The person isn't worth it.

That person is dumb, Heidi. They are missing out.

^^What all of them said Heiders^^

How do you know when someone on Facebook dumps you?

You don't know, Cynthia, until you go to that person's wall to post something and see that you are no longer friends OR you know when Facebook recommends you should be friends with that person because you have 43 friends in common with each other.

Thanks, Arminius, Bun, Susan, Jim, and Barb. I know you're right. I just still miss that person sometimes... especially when I see or hear something that makes me think of them. I've reached out to them a couple of times only to get...

*crickets*

I haven't reached out to that person since the last attempt.

Every time you run into something that reminds you of them change your thoughts to the fascinating St. Louis Cardinal history which I have embedded on the Baseball history page.

Arminius wrote: "Every time you run into something that reminds you of them change your thoughts to the fascinating St. Louis Cardinal history which I have embedded on the Baseball history page."

Hahaha! I'll try that, Arminius. :)

I like Arminius way better than your dumb not-friend. I say who needs 'em. Seriously. They don't deserve you.

Charly wrote: "I personally am thinking about unfriending people who can't figure out how to keep every wishlist book and comment to groups out of their update feed. "

Goodreads allows for 2 tiers of friends: top friends, and everyone else. That way you can put your update feed crammers into the second tier, and you will only get updates from your top friends and followers.

I've made some people 2nd tier not because I don't like them, I do like them, but every comment from every group they were in was cluttering my feed and keeping me from seeing other updates from other friends.

I hope I am not an update feed crammer to my friends!

I go with the premise of not burning bridges.... I and my friends/acquaintances/cool co-workers have all moved so much and had kids and joined Peace Corps and ... well, you know, life. Anyway, I like occasionally checking on how they all are doing, so that when I call or email them 2 years later (and I do that kind of thing), I at least know where to start a conversation.

I've turned off notifying people about any of my activity as much as possible. I don't wanna be that girl.

Thank you, Charly! I only have one box checked but it is when I make a comment and we all know I do that entirely too often! :/

Yes, it makes perfect sense!

I only comment in this group. My heart is here. My friends are here.

:)

*glomps Susan*

::glomps Amelia::

GLOMPY GLOMP!