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When a raid on a terrorist cell leaves no survivors and few clues, New York City police have a problem: since the tip was anonymous, they have no idea why the terrorists were there.



Detective Mike Maclaymore has the impossible task of finding out what the cell was planning. When a Saudi princess shows up to ID one of the bodies, he knows this goes deeper than anyone feared. He and the princess pair up to learn the truth, neither sure they can trust the other.



The trail leads to a Saudi diplomat, beheaded in his apartment. And to a shadowy figure from Mike’s past when he was a Black-ops soldier in wartime Afghanistan—a warlord hunted by all sides, and caught by none.


Now Mike and the princess race to uncover his identity, and stop an attack that will destroy New York City—and then the U.S. economy.

A few thoughts-

The book is a very Geopolitical novel, aka a much darker Tom Clancy, does this blurb demonstrate/show this?

Does the Saudi princess turn readers on or off? (She is a pretty big part of the novel aka the Impact character)

Hi Erik,

Of course you're free to continue discussing the blurb for your story, but I am going to ask you to stop making new topics for it. Keep it contained in one thread, please. You now have three threads going for the same blurb!

Edited to add: I deleted the other two so you can continue your discussion of your blurb in this thread. Thank you!

Ok :)

Took a moment to rewrite this the way I'd want it to read.

An example "wartime Afghanistan". Um . . . when the hell has there ever been a peacetime Afghanistan. There's no need to labor a concept that readers have already internalized.

Here's my take . . .

In the aftermath of a raid that left no survivors, the NYPD must piece together why a terrorist cell was operating in the city. Detective Mike Maclaymore is tasked with making sense of a plot that was only uncovered with the help of an anonymous caller.

As the police try to identify the terrorists, a Saudi princess appears to ID one of the men killed in the raid. Maclaymore and the princess form a shaky alliance as they work to figure out what really happened and why.

Then a Saudi diplomat is found beheaded – right in Maclaymore’s apartment. Questions are asked about Maclaymore’s time as a Special Forces operator in Afghanistan, and the trail leads to a warlord with enemies on all sides of the conflict.

Maclaymore must race to get to the bottom of the matter before the attackers strike New York again.

"is tasked" seems too light a responsibility, don't give away the warlord yet, and other suggestions:

In the aftermath of a raid that left no survivors, the NYPD must piece together how and why a terrorist cell was operating in the city. Detective Mike Maclaymore must make sense of a plot that was only uncovered with the help of an anonymous caller.

A Saudi princess appears to ID one of the men killed in the raid. Maclaymore and the princess form a shaky alliance as they work to figure out what really happened and why.

When a Saudi diplomat is found beheaded – right in Maclaymore’s apartment – Maclaymore’s time as a Special Forces operator in Afghanistan has his own department questioning his loyalties.

Maclaymore must race to get to the bottom of the matter before the attackers strike New York again.