Paranormal Romance & Urban Fantasy discussion

Inspired by a post from Moss!

We all have 'em. Characters we want to throttle, shake, scream at, and just slap the general bejesus out of.

Who gets your blood boiling?

For me, even in my sleepy stupor the first that comes to mind is Richard.

Yes, that Richard, of Anita Blake fame.

If I had the chance (and wasn't afraid he'd snap me in two), I'd grab that man by his broad shoulders and shake him like a ragdoll.

Every time we think "Oh, maybe! Maybe this time he really gets it!" not a page later, there he is stomping his foot, screaming about the injustice of the world, forcing people to violently shift, and having an all out tantrum to rival the preschoolers.

He's terribly obtuse and horribly selfish. And for those who say that poor Richard has had too much to deal with and that he's just suffering from Anita's shared rage, pish posh! It was his way or the highway long before the metaphysical reasons came about. He's such a stubborn, irrational creature.

And a hypocrite! He might as well flat out say: "Anita, I am trying to find my mate while you are just a ho."

For the love of God, Richard, wake up! Quit your whining! Be a man!

I wish someone would gobble him up. And not in the sexy way.

Are we allowed to pillory our own characters? Because I will happily bring out the tar and feathers, and cat o' nine, and ants and honey and... Okay, that sounds a little demented now. Wouldn't want that.

Do you remember that episode of Star Trek Next Generation when Picard imprinted that alien princess who would become the ideal woman for her mate? And then he walked away from her? I almost quit the show over that. I mean, he weekly saves the universe from borg, interstellar phenomena and children, yet he can't find a way to help true love conquer all? Really?! Infuriating.

Okay, now I'm incensed all over again :) What was it with the captains being unable to find twu luv? I keep hearing strains of Brandy:

"Brandy, you're a fine girl. What a good wife you would be. But my life, my love and my lady is the sea."

Love that song, but, once again, c'mon.

It makes me the voice of evil, but I used to loathe Snuffy. From Sesame Street. You remember back in the old days when no-one could see him, only Big Bird? So everyone thought BB was making him up? It drove me craaaazy that people would miss Snuffy by, like, seconds. I used to think secretly he was doing it on purpose so he could guilt trip Big Bird. Twisted eh?

Oh and Dante. But that I've already talked through, and I'm coming to terms with my issues.

Although I own and have read all of the House of Night books, Zoey drives me insane. She's judgmental, narrow-minded and just generally annoying. I think we're supposed to be impressed because she has a gay friend (who has become a camp cliche as the series as progressed), but then she writes off all teens that fall out of her trendy realm. She strings multiple guys along, and then judges other girls as sluts. She constantly breaks the rules and does what she wants, but judges everyone else as if she were without flaw. And don't get me started on the childish words she uses instead of cussing (I don't really care if she cusses or not, but whatever word she is going to use should be beyond a five year old's vocabulary).

I think I only read them for the rest of the characters and to see what ridiculous situation Zoey gets herself into next - secretly hoping that her friends will all suddenly see her as I see her. LOL

Ah Richard. I'll get in line to slap that guy. I read somewhere that LKH said she'll never kill him off because she based him on her husband and that would be too weird. Come on, nothing is weird in the Anitaverse.

Vent! It's cathartic!

Jessa: I wanted to slap Jean Luc and Beverly Crusher and their simpering smiles.

Moss: That kinda' made me hate Big Bird. I mean, you can't even take a proper picture of the mammoth? He's a mammoth!

DarkHeart: So, do we slap Zoe silly, or give her up as a lost cause and smack the friends instead? Your loathing makes me want to read the books so I can weigh in!

Stephanie: She based him on her husband...and then made him irritating, demanding, overbearing, possessive...? Now that's weird.

Oh, Freud darling, could you take a look at this please?

Ugh. So don't kill him! Send him off to Antarctica.

Ha! I love your posts Michelle M....so funny.

Richard was based on Anita's first husband. He was apparently a lot like Richard and pushed hard for Anita and Richard to remain chaste until they married. *Snort* Guess there's no hope for that now! I have a theory that the reason Hamilton's books became so much more sexual in nature is because she went through her own sexual awakening after she dumped hubby one and started boinking the president of her fan club...who is now her current, younger husband. You go girl!

I agree that Richard has to be the most frustrating and annoying character I've read so far. I have been tempted on several occasions to hurl my book at the wall and have scared the crap out of my son with my loud, angry outbursts. He reminds me it's just a character in a book but I'll be damned if I don't love to hate that man.

Ya know, Lori, I always kinda figured that's what happened with Richard but never really knew for sure. The tone of the books changed so much at a certain point that there had to be something going on in her life to skew the books so hard in another direction.

Definitely Richard. He drove me crazy even when he was a nice guy, because he was too damn nice. And Looney Tunes kitchen canisters? If I were Anita, I would have hit the door at that point. He just kept getting worse and worse. I was all for Jean Claude. Micah just annoys me.

And then, after a while, I wanted to slap the everloving shite out of Anita, but I think I've ranted about that before. ;)

Ummmm... I've gotta admit, I only made it about thirty pages into Kresley Cole's A Hunger Like No Other, but those thirty pages were enough for me to want to choke the heroine. She was so weak and useless! I never finished the book, but god, I hope she grew a spine.

I think my all-time want-to-slap-a-bitch character, though, is Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter series. Not only was she one of the most horrifyingly evil characters I've ever read, she also reminded me very strongly of my high school English teacher. [shudder:]

This is SOOO easy: Artemis from the Sherrilyn Kneyon Dark Hunter Series. Her treatment of Acheron absolutely kills me... Artemis must go! :)

Yeah - Richard too. lol

Jessa wrote: "Okay, now I'm incensed all over again :) What was it with the captains being unable to find twu luv? I keep hearing strains of Brandy:

"Brandy, you're a fine girl. What a good wife you would b..."

You know it is bad when you are in school and people start singing this song to you. Thanks mom for naming me after this song .. Yeah me

The person that bothered me was Elena from Bitten, woman of the underworld.
She keeps going back and forth between hating her so called husband and then she is insanley in love with him. She can't make up her mind. Really....
Eleven years of going back and forth she should now something. At least I would think so.

Another person is Phury. I loved him through everything until he turned on Cormina, Then I hated him with Passion, until he came around but still I needed to slap him

I love how ya'll are blowin' up this thread. Guess it was a good idea, Moss.

Lori wrote: "Ha! I love your posts Michelle M....so funny.
Richard was based on Anita's first husband..."

Why, thank you, Lori. But now...now I feel I must be funny. The pressure, it's stifling.

Ahhhh, he was based on the first husband. That accounts for a lot. But then, wouldn't that give her more incentive to kill him off or send him and his science class on a field trip to Abu Dhabi? I should think so...

Fangirl, I totally forgot about the canisters! Must've been a protective psychological block. As for wanting to beat the shite out of Anita, I could go on for days...but my main teeth-clenching gripes have more to do with the writing. This is just a made up example:

"Where are you going?" I made it a question.

Well, yes. You did make it a question! And you did that by utilizing the ever so handy punctuation we call a question mark. Bravo!

And the fact that someone spends 2 pages over-explaining a situation to her, and she says: "Let me test my understanding."

Grrrrrrr.

BTW: Umbridge is a class choice for this. Good woman, you, for thinking of her!

Can anyone tell I'm on my lunchbreak?

Beth wrote: "This is SOOO easy: Artemis from the Sherrilyn Kneyon Dark Hunter Series. Her treatment of Acheron absolutely kills me... Artemis must go! :)"

Beth, I hear you...but as much as I want Simi to eat the heifer-goddess, this is one character I love to hate. I can't imagine things without her mucking them up. So, bitch-slap the hell out of her, but leave her breathing.

I agree!!! Artemis all the way! I hate that heifer godess!

okay so I just started the series and I already do not like Artemis.
I hope as the series goes I find out more...But from the sounds of it she is still a you know what..

She IS a bizznitch. But if we didn't have her, who could we rally around with our cudgels? Stryker doesn't enrage me, while Artie makes me want to pull her hair out in a girlie smack-down. Her malicious interference is inspiring.

Not PNR, but Baby Kochamma from Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things. The latent evil and manipulation was bone-chilling. She made my skin crawl.

Michelle: it's so cathartic isn't it? Like purging, but better because other people come and have a poke around in the viscera and pick out things they identify with. Fun for the whole family!

oohhh, I too am all for "The Simi" eating the Heifer Goddess. Maybe SHE was the reason I burned out on the series. Come on man, its been 11k years. And she is STILL totally clueless? Doesn't say much about the Gods and Goddesses we humans create for ourselves.

I have a "general" gripe about a "class" of heroines. When you have not one but TWO hot guys, it really should NOT take 8 books for you to decide which one you really want. I really don't know any "normal" (as opposed to psychotic) males who would put up with that kind of treatment. Come on girls, get WITH IT. And don't make me bit## slap you into the middle of next week for being so totally annoying. Actually, the only exception to that complaint is Stephanie Plum. In her case, I can totally understand not being able to give up either Ranger OR Morelli. And Evanovitch handles this wishy-washy part of Stephanies character with aplomb and humour. But she's one of the few writers who DOES handle it well.

Oh I have one. Riley Jenson, from Keri Arthur's The Riley Jenson series. I wish that women would make up her mind and choose a man already. Her going back and forth between one man and then another. UGH
I mean really come on already. I am all for the back and forth but she loves one but has to have multiple partners.

I'm all for love triangles, but yes, stretching them out for forever is batty. Characters shouldn't remain static like that.

To be honest, I mainly find it frustrating because I can't juggle multiple men myself. It's terribly exhausting. Why can't I live this fantasy life?

::green-eyed monster lurking in corner::

Oh, there are plenty of characters already mentioned that I can really get behind.

Richard, from Anita Blake, is definitely one. If I'm not scared of one big alpha werewolf it would be so much fun to slap some sense and reality check with this guy.

Professor Umbridge, from Harry Potter, made my blood boil. That woman is just plain mean, complete with cloyingly sweet hypocrisy.

I'm not a DH reader, but I'm with the vote that Simi can eat the heifer goddess Artemis. I'll even provide the barbecue sauce...LOL

A few more names I'm going to threw in.

Cat's mother, from Jeanine Frost's Nighthuntress series. I'm only in book 2 and this woman grates on my nerves.

From the BDB world, I knew she's all powerful and all, but sometimes the Scribe Virgin's actions do more harm than good to all her vampire creations. V and Payne's mommy dearest really needs to get kicked once in a while, I believe.

Oh, and looming into the horizon, the "scorpion princess" that Rehv is entangled with. I'm so looking forward, hoping against hope, that either Ehlena or Xhex, should beat her bitchy royal persona.

Yz: Good addition on Cat's mom. Thankfully, in the next book you'll read, she gets a BIT more sorted. Just enough to reduce her status from "throttle to death" to "smack repeatedly."

Richard definitely!!!

As well as that damn bitch The Scribe Virgin!!

I just want to slap them so hard... GRRRR

Brandy, I'm sorry. My stepdaughter was named after that song. Her father still regrets having agreed to that.

Yz wrote: "Cat's mother, from Jeanine Frost's Nighthuntress series. I'm only in book 2 and this woman grates on my nerves."

Some people are of the opinion that she gets better in book 3. I am not one of those people. Not only is she annoying, but she just comes across as really one dimensional and I hate that.

"He drove me crazy even when he was a nice guy, because he was too damn nice. And Looney Tunes kitchen canisters? If I were Anita, I would have hit the door at that point. " - OMG, YES. I have long been on the Richard-hatin' bandwagon, too.

I haven't read the books with this Artemis character, but if someone I dislike shares the name of my favourite goddess, there's gonna be hell to pay.

"Professor Umbridge, from Harry Potter, made my blood boil. That woman is just plain mean, complete with cloyingly sweet hypocrisy. " Yes, yes yes! She was such an insufferable bureaucrat, too.

I agree also with Bella in the Twilight books. Stop whining, already!

Moss, you had me laughing so hard at the SS comments. Oh my god, who knew it could inspire such seething rage!

Um, Julia--sorry to tell you this but. . . it IS your favourite Goddess. Only in the Dark Hunter books she really IS a heifer goddess who Simi really SHOULD be allowed to eat.

I love this list. I think the one at the top for me is Bella I mean how self absorbed can you get uggg.

The thing about Artimis is I want Ash to just bitch slap her a few good times (cannot wait till April when I can read Acheron **sigh**)

I HATED Sabine from the Kiss of a Demon King I was like you for Rydstrom. I felt so cheated LOL

I just stared the Anita Blake series so I cannot comment on Richard

And ditto on Cat's mom what a jerk! (I am also on book 2)

Stephanie wrote: "Ah Richard. I'll get in line to slap that guy. I read somewhere that LKH said she'll never kill him off because she based him on her husband and that would be too weird. Come on, nothing is weird i..."


Would this be the old husband or the new one...I'm thinking the old one which is why he never grew into real hero material.

Yep..that would be the first husband..

Yz wrote: "Yep..that would be the first husband.."

Saw that mentioned later. Jumped into the conversation a little late without looking. Sorry. :-(

I've only read the first Anita Blake book and I didn't like it that much, so I have continued. I wish I had just so I would know more about the Richard everyone is talking about.
I definately agree with the Scribe Virgin.
And I have to add in Butthead Bill from Sookie. Even before he turned into a huge Butthead, I felt like he was kind wishy washy and weak.

Lori: I agree on the Bill the Butthead comment. And if I didn't care for him in the beginning, oh I think he's worthless now. So blah and opportunistic, with a mean streak.

hum, I would also add in BOTH of the Beaufleurs--brother and sister, while we are naming blahs from Southern Vamps. Except for their devotion to each other, their Grandmother and that mansion, they really ARE blah.

Oh, Ann! By mentioning them you just reminded me of another reason I hate Bill. Giving money away, but never treating Sookie to so much as a soda pop!

Michelle M. wrote: "Oh, Ann! By mentioning them you just reminded me of another reason I hate Bill. Giving money away, but never treating Sookie to so much as a soda pop!"


Aw you guys are breaking my heart. I've only read the first one and Bill is so adorable in it. (Don't worry, I've read the summaries of the other books and I know he changes). It's so sad though, I'm totally psyched for Sookie and Bill to have a HEA in a later book but I know that doesn't happen.

Well, Moss, the series isn't over yet, but I can't say I support the Sookie and Bill Forever camp.

Book 8 comes out in paperback tomorrow! I can't wait for book 9 in May. I'll be doing rereads in preparation!

Finish the next one and come back to tell us your opinion of him!

I personally swoon over Eric.

Sookieverse talk reminds me that I wanted to slap the altered Tara from the tv show. Talk about a stereotypical overwrought black woman. Whew, I wanted her to calm the hell down! Breathe, Tara. Breathe!

Do any of you get annoyed with Samuel from the Patricia Briggs books? I don't know why she even puts up with him after finding out he basically wants her for a baby machine! How infuriating is that!?

And Jessica from the Undead series gets on my nerves. She could give the sarcasm a break now AND THEN!

Haven't read the Anita books, but it sounds like Richard deserves to be an ex!

And Sookie's brother annoys the hell out of me! Talk about a man who never grew up!

The character I wanted to slap the most was Bella, in the second book. How can you spend an entire year whining and making everyone miserable? Surely someone wanted to tell her "Just get over it and stop whining!"

Oh, Rebecca. Methinks you have much pent up literary-induced rage!

Great!

Oh, I didn't even finish the first Sookie book because Bill bugged me so much. I don't know what he does to make him "Butthead Bill", but he gave off an ooky icky vibe to me from word one. I never found him adorable.

Mercy puts up with Samuel because 1) he was her first love--and no matter WHAT, we never really DO get over our first love. The other reason is because Mercy really DOES live up to her name--Mercy. She seems to have some empathy for him, and his need to have a child. But she isn't willing to get back involved with him just because she understands. She wants someone who loves HER for HER. Not for her ability to maybe give him a kid, even if that IS a biological imperative for most people.

And I agree about Jessica, I too have the occasional urge to slap her silly and tell her to quit with the sarcasm.

Ooky icky vibe. Lol, Nichole! He did seem to set off the creep radar for me too!

Ann, I agree on Samuel. I fell badly for him more than anything. I think his feelings were more misplaced rather than malicious. He was so hopeful and placed all his hope in this one woman. I don't get the vibe that he ever thought of it as merely using her for practical means-more like he was desperate for someone who could guarantee he wouldn't have to suffer such profound loss again. Not a good basis for a relationship, but like Mercy, I understand it. And of course the first love aspect for her, in conjunction with her compassion means I don't hate him at all. Sorry, Rebecca!

But I CAN support the Grow Up Jason campaign! :)

Nichole wrote: "Oh, I didn't even finish the first Sookie book because Bill bugged me so much. I don't know what he does to make him "Butthead Bill", but he gave off an ooky icky vibe to me from word one. I never ..."

He got weird towards the end when he left her alone with Elvis (I'm guessing he went to check in with the queen?). But I just loooved the scene where Sookie says she wants call him baby. I loved that line. I guess that was mostly Sookie though. And he got all intensed-up at her. Sigh. Okay okay, I'll check back with Bill-love after I read a few more. Eric is so not crush-worthy in the first book though, so things must do a radical turnaround.

Oh, turn around they DO!

But, I admit, I have a thing for cocky bastards. But there's a lot more to him. Read, damn you, so we can discuss!

Mmmm....Eric. Yeah, Eric is way better than Bill, even with being a cocky bastard....plus that's part of his charm.
And I forgot all about the Belfleurs. Yeah, they suck. They do a good job of making Andy Belfleur look like a real loser in the tv show.