What's the Name of That Book??? discussion

There are hundreds of books on how to have babies, but very few on how to get on with life when you are unable to have children. Please recomend only books accepting being childless. Thank you.

Check Amazon with the key word childfree. I have great sympathy for you if it is not by choice. I went through 7 1/2 years of infertility and was feeling stuck in a stage of life that I couldn't seem to get through. I did eventually have two children (after surgery), but it is a very painful time. I wish you comfort and solace.

Thank you so much, Laura. I am unable to have children and just in the last week actually admitted to myself. It is very painful right now, but I have a wonderful husband and know I will get through the pain.

If you find anything good, Rachel, please come back and post. My husband and I accepted and dealt with it a few years back, but turning 40 this year has brought it back to the surface. While the possibility of my being able to actually even get pregnant is slim, I've been advised that I shouldn't attempt it (ie: in vitro, etc). I too have a wonderful husband who lovingly volunteered for "THE procedure" so I no longer have to worry about that anymore, because it would surely end in heartbreak.

Hang in there. It will get better. And when you're feeling a little better, perhaps consider volunteering your time with Big Brothers/Big Sisters. We found that it helped us immensely, and we got a cool kid to hang out with in the process who needed some guidance.

This book doesn't come out until September, but from the description it sounds like it might be the kind of thing you're looking for: The Last First Day: A Novel

Also, if you're looking for non-fiction: Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice looks good.

Thank you so much, Railyn. I am also turning 40 this year and it has just made me an emotional mess. I have been seriously thinking about working with children and being able to help them. I don't normally go to chat rooms or anything like that and I joined this site to find good books and I am so thankful that I am finding sympathetic women. Thank you all.

Andria wrote: "Also, if you're looking for non-fiction: Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice looks good."
I appreciate your help, but I am certainly not childless by choice.

Yes, I remember crying and crying every time my period came. And how sex even got to seem such a chore, rather than an enjoyment. My sister couldn't have a second child after her first, so she adopted 3 kids from Russia. Too bad that is so difficult now. We were even looking into surrogacy for a while. I am sorry for your pain. I can't even assure you that it gets better, because I was eventually able to have two children, which meant things got better for me, and I don't know how they would have turned out otherwise.

Sorry to not be of more help.

Rachel wrote: "Andria wrote: "Also, if you're looking for non-fiction: Two Is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice looks good."
I appreciate your help, but I am certainly not childless by choice."

Yeah, me neither. But sometimes it helps me to pretend that it IS by choice (my mom's favorite advice: "fake it 'til you make it"). There ARE benefits to a childfree life and reading something from the POV of people who've chosen that life has helped give me a little perspective.

But - I just thought of this great book:

I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood. It's a memoir of a woman who went through the whole thing: wanting a baby, failed infertility treatments, and finally reaching acceptance.

Edit: you may also want to check out the author's website: LifeWithoutBaby.com, "an international online community to help women come to terms with being childless-not-by-choice."

Thanks Andria! That sounds awesome. I'm going to check that one out next when I'm done with my current book.