Connecting Readers and Writers discussion

...would like feedback on my giveaway blurb.

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sho...

Especially the part concerning all the giveaways...

I think there's just enough information there to make a reader want to know more. I think you did a terrific job grabbing our attention and making us interested in reading/winning your giveaway book. :)-

Melissa wrote: "I think you did a terrific job"


Thanks Melissa. As You can see, feedback's been sparse.

A most gracious welcome to the group, Carl. Nice giveaway blurb. Don't be discouraged with the sparse feedback! Your efforts must go on.

It sounds very interesting, and the giveaway blurb is fine. But I would alter the main blurb by changing one use of "ends up" to avoid repetition and combining the first four paragraphs into two so as to make the final line more prominent and therefore give it more impact:

Brian, a loner, finds himself at the Research Center as an apprentice. There, he makes the discovery of a lifetime, one that will make him famous, except he walks away because of a personal issue and tells no one.

He ends up apprenticing with the eccentric Chief Henry, in security. While working in this vocation, Brian makes an even greater discovery, one he hides from everyone.

But once this genie is out of the bottle, he can’t and won’t put it back.

I hope this helps, and good luck with your giveaway!

Gerald wrote: "Don't be discouraged"


Thanks for the vote of confidence. FYI, it was an observation, not discouragement. (though I would have read it the same way)

Andrew wrote: "...as to make the final line more prominent"


Andrew, because editing the giveaway prevents new entries until re-approved, I'm going to wait on making that change for a bit. Thanks for the help.

What the hell is going on here!? Great job, the blurb is mighty teasing without giving away any details, which is not easily achieved. Unfortunately, the giveaway is US only.

Elke wrote: "What the hell is going on here!?"

LOL... It's available on Amazon, print & kindle. And thanks!!! (what a confidence booster)

I think the blurb is very good (obviously, I entered to win!). You give broad details that draw people in but don't get specific enough to let us know what is going on, the blurb definitely makes you want to know more. I also like the reviews because I totally understand wanting to put your responsibilities aside because you're in the middle of a great book.

Lina wrote: "obviously, I entered to win!)"

Thanks for entering, Lina. Am appreciative you took time to give this evaluation.

Updated this thread 5-12-2013 to include link to the most recent ASTA giveaway.

http://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sho...