Inner Workings discussion

What do I do with need? With want?

It feels like a geyser welling up inside me, pressure building, pulsing into my heart, pushing against my skin, taking over. It's frightening.

I have never been the type to need very much. 9.9 times out of 10, if you ask me, I will tell you I'm fine, that I don't need anything, thank you. Very ... self-sufficient. Composed. Self-contained. Controlled. I take care of myself and I take care of other people. It's what I do.

It's embarrassing to need something so much, and even worse to know I can't supply what I need for myself.

It makes me feel like I should tie myself to the mast, like Ulysses, because the need is like the Siren's song.

Maybe a lifetime of never asking for anything is now whipping back around to me in an immense backlash of want, desire, need. I don't know where to go with it, where to put it, I don't trust myself to manage it and it seems like getting too close to the sun - no one else could take it, either.

Well you make a list.
haha.

Need - have to have right now. must,must.

Want - Really, really want, asap, good, good.

Would like - Sure, I'll take one of those, no presure, whatever you have.

I had to practice asking for what I wanted, and then practice my response if I didn't get what I wanted. Took a couple of years to get comfortable with recognizing my needs and wants, longer to be comfortable demanding or even asking.

Sorry. It's a therapy thing.

always reminds me of that old Sesame Street jingle - "You're the most important person in the whole wide world."

Little girls are taught to please everyone around them.

Little boys are taught to fight for what they want.

Bonita wrote: "Little girls are taught to please everyone around them.

Little boys are taught to fight for what they want.

"

So very, very true.