Books on the Nightstand discussion

My wife and I and our four children love to read. My son in law prefers the tv to the written word. Any ideas to help him find the love of reading? I have given him YA books, asked him what books he loved as a kid...he is almost proud of NOT reading unless he has to. I have been taught that the only thing worse than burning books is not reading them. I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

My husband is a non-reader, and he is of the age that it is not likely to change anytime soon. That said, I have picked up books for him based on tv shows,etc. that he likes. He did actually enjoy a book written (well, probably ghostwritten) by the guy from Pawn Stars.
Another idea is audio books -- hub really enjoyed listening to the Steve Jobs biography.

Accept the fact that he does not enjoy reading...some people feel they have to be physically active with hobbies....that reading eats up valuable time that could be used for something productive...
My husband and other family members feel this way...they especially cannot understand my love of fiction...
There is so much truth and knowledge in fiction but they feel that if one has to read it should be factual to not be a waste of time...
It is easy to appear smug as a reader so often the non-reader puts up an even stronger defense for not being a reader..

Merleiv wrote: "Accept the fact that he does not enjoy reading...some people feel they have to be physically active with hobbies....that reading eats up valuable time that could be used for something productive......"

Yes, that's why I don't exercise or clean. Eats up too much reading time. Same thing, only reversed. :-)

Bottom line - trying to force someone to become a reader that doesn't want to is just not going to work.

Victoria...funny! I see myself as well...reading time must be protected!

audio book good place to start

Okay, now I have a good excuse for not exercising...

My husband, a dyslexic, didn't read because it was too much work. I now have him hooked on audiobooks. He has stopped listening to fiction, but loves history and biographies.

The only way that I think that you might turn him into a reader is if he has a strong interest and you can augment that with books. (an aside: I often wonder if non-readers have a learning disability issue that makes it too difficult for them).

When I was still teaching, I had a student in my high school class who did not like to read. Her mother was as avid a reader as I am and bemoaned to me that she could not get her daughter to read. Til I found a book that involved cats. She could not read them fast enough. (Thank heavens for Lilian Jackson Braun and Rita Mae Brown.)

Maybe your sil has an interest - there are plenty of sports books - both fiction and non.

Good luck, but I think he's probably chosen his course.

My husband is NOT a reader and I am voracious. I used to try to seek out books that I thought would be interesting to (based on favorite video games, hobbies, etc.). The only thing that accomplished was frustrating me when they sat unread. Then I realized he must be just as frustrated because I turned down his invitations to play video games or watch a movie together in favor of reading. Now I just curl up on the couch next to him with my book while he plays & we're both happy!

Well you could do family group reads and sit around and discuss the books. Maybe he would feel so excluded that he would capitulate. Actually, I'm just kidding, at his age there's probably not much hope.

I am going through something similar with my 13 year old granddaughter. She loved books when she was younger. But now when I suggest good young adult books, she claims she is a slow reader or guages a book on its length or she heard it was too sad...drives me crazy. I think part of the problem is that her parents aren't readers and don't encourage her enough.

There are a lot of people who are proud non-readers. TV, movies and video games are plenty for them. My in-laws had absolutely no books in their house and they were proud of that. To this day, my husband thinks books are clutter and can't understand why I hold onto books after I've read them. Unlike his parents, he does read, but it takes him many weeks to get through a book. I can't even get him library books because he takes so long.

That's just crazy...I can see people not liking to read but being proud of it? That seems very Dukes of Hazard to me. Yup, I'm ignorant and proud of it! Are you sure they aren't just trying to wind you up?

Janet wrote: "That's just crazy...I can see people not liking to read but being proud of it? That seems very Dukes of Hazard to me. Yup, I'm ignorant and proud of it! Are you sure they aren't just trying to wi..."

Guaranteed it's not just trying to get a reaction. They wouldn't even buy magazine subscriptions from their grandkids because they don't read. The only reading material that was ever in their house was the newspaper.

Now, I was raised in a household full of books. My mom subscribed to the Readers Digest Condensed books and the Book of the Month club. We went to the library frequently and were allowed to order 2-3 books every time we got the Scholastic Book Club flyer at school. I can't imagine living in a house without books, but I know plenty of people who do. According to this article on MSN.com, the average number of books read per person in 2012 was 15. However, the median was 6. That means a lot more people are not reading than are reading.

Another possible way to get him involved is for you to read a book about something he loves. You can explain that you wanted to know more about his interests. Maybe as you talk about what you are learning and ask questions to get his opinions about what you've read, he'll want to check it out himself.

Janet wrote: "That's just crazy...I can see people not liking to read but being proud of it? That seems very Dukes of Hazard to me. Yup, I'm ignorant and proud of it! Are you sure they aren't just trying to wi..."

Janet, look at The Tonight Show's Jay Walking segment. Jay Leno asks people questions that you and I think anybody should be able to answer and these people don't have a clue. What I always thought was the worst part? That these idiots signed a waiver agreeing to show their ignorance to millions of viewers.

I watched one Linda....even accounting for nervousness, that's pretty amazing. And you're right, I'd never sign a waiver to let them show me being that stupid....maybe they had to sign before the interview.

My husband, too, is a non-reader (I think due to dyslexia). Contrary to many women, I actually look forward to football and basketball seasons. He is occupied with the games on TV and that allows me to read in peace.

The episode with the history teacher who didn't know who wrote the Star Spangled Banner is a little frightening.

I don't know who wrote the Star Spangled Banner either :( until I just looked it up. I'm not a history teacher though....

There was a time when I used to be shocked by just how many non-readers there are in the world, and by how many people really regard it as "normal" to be a non-reader, and not-normal and even incomprehensible to spend a lot of free time reading. I also grew up with a lot of books in the house, lots of trips to the library, etc., but I'm learning that for a lot of people, this was not the case -- or, even if it was the case, it seems like a lot of people seem to have given up reading after college -- I suspect because they weren't reading for pleasure but only because they "had to."

I have to say, the stats posted by Sandi (average number of books read per person in 2012 was 15) was a little surprising to me. Even if you go by the median (6 books/person/year) I would still find that number high. I'm a data analyst and so I probably spend too much time dwelling on numbers like these...but I'm guessing these numbers were self-reported, right? I think that number seems inflated. But maybe it's just all us voracious readers, skewing the data upwards!! :)

As for the original post regarding "[a]ny ideas to help him find the love of reading?" I would actually recommend backing off. What I'm sure is actually a well-intentioned goal to create bibliophile actually comes across as an act of passive-aggressiveness that won't engender a desire to read. As the adage goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

Aliteracy is incomprehensible to people who love to read and, there are many reasons for being a non-reader including but not limited to home environments, learning disabilities, religious tenets (knowledge vs faith,) opportunities, more pressing pragmatic life issues (both communal and individual,) social and, even just the way a brain is "wired." The numbers cited in the study don't surprise me really; In fact, as Kate mentioned above, I think they might actually be inflated or skewed despite the median vs average distinction.

It's a curious world made up of all sorts of people :-)

There have been a few times when I have taken a quiz with a question about how many books I read in a year. Usually I have to check a box and I'm always surprised with the top choice "10+"

We have set the bar very low. I usually read about 50-60 books a year though I have read more but I have friends who read a book a day. Wouldn't those surveyors be shocked?

When I was a bookseller at Borders there were tons of customers who didn't read much, and when they did read it was only the 'latest craze' books (DaVinci Code comes to mind). I could never understand how readers could simply turn their reading on and off like a faucet.

What does he like to watch on TV? Maybe he would enjoy books with similar themes. If he likes sports, there are plenty of sports books, crime drama, ditto. There are also audio books if he just doesn't enjoy the process of reading. Ultimately, I have to agree with several other posters here that reading has to be a something one enjoys or why should they bother? You can not be responsible for making someone else love what you love. I sympathize with your inability to understand how someone can not want to read - it baffles me, too. But ultimately, it should not be a chore to people.

It reminds me of my husband's family. They all read as much as they can except his brother who has no interest in the process. Of course my own brother didn't start reading for fun until he was in his mid twenties.

Of course many people read on their computers/tablets/phones these days i.e. newspapers, magazines, blogs, therefore eliminating books all together.

Thanks for the great ideas. My son in law is very big into sports so I will definitely read up on his interests to better understand.

I lived in Holland for a few years and our family has always celebrated a Dutch style Christmas where we fill wooden shoes with chocolate and always a book. We will definitely give our son in law a sports fact book.

Maybe I should invite him to be a book giver with me on World Book Night! :)

Mark wrote: "Back off, back off, back off.

Imagine someone constantly forcing you to watch TV while you're trying to read. Does that give you warm feelings for that person?"

I have to say that I agree completely.

You last two are writing a fictional story. I am not bullying my sil. I simply wanted ideas to include him in family traditions. I respect him just the way he is.

Does it bother your daughter? My SIL doesn't read very much. He does like audiobooks when working, but would rather watch TV or play video games on his down time. My daughter's okay with it as long as she gets to read.

My husband doesn't read and it used to bother me (25 yrs ago). I couldn't understand why someone would rather watch tv than read but it works for us. He won't listen to audio and I used to buy books in his interest area getting frustrated when they sat unopened. He did read a couple of them but in 25 years I've only seen him read those two. I say to each his own. His tv time is my reading time and once in a while when the book is just right and the mood is just right I'll read out loud to him and he'll sit and listen.

I saw this today and it reminded me of this thread.

http://bookriot.com/2013/10/11/dear-b...

Saw that on twitter. For me one brother reads and mother reads the entire local paper. Does that count ?