The Sword and Laser discussion

What turns you off in a blurb?

I hate blurbs that compare the book in question to other books/authors. As in:

In a heart-racing thriller described as Falling Skies meets The Walking Dead, Jennie struggles to find a safe place for what’s left of her family.

or:

Fans of Donna Andrews and Jessica Beck will love this charming mystery featuring a smart and spunky new amateur sleuth, small-town Georgia spice shop owner Piper Prescott.

It seems like bragging about being unoriginal.

I'm also turned off by blurbs that ask questions. Such as:

If we only had the wisdom of experience in our youth, what decisions would we have made differently?

or:

What if the life you were born into, was never really yours to begin with?

And, finally, if the blurb starts with the word "imagine," I'm running away.

Imagine a distant future where technology’s inexorable advance has halted for all but the richest .1% of humanity.

Similar, and just as bad:

Picture your life without free will.

No choice. No voice. No personal direction.

These are all real-life examples of blurbs that will keep me from ever reading a book. The names of the books have been left off to protect the innocent.

What are your blurb peeves?

Now a Major Motion Picture.

The most blurbs most annoying to me are ones that make value judgments about the topic.

"Heart-racing thriller" is a great example. "Heart-racing" is completely inane because I am obviously not going to trust the publicity for the book to be unbiased about the book.

Blurbs by people who are thanked in the acknowledgements.

I did see this brilliantly subverted by a book that had quotes like, "'This is Steve's best book!' - Steve's Mom." I wish I could recall the book.

Michal wrote: "Now a Major Motion Picture."

Oh, good one! Totally agree!

Sandi wrote: "I hate blurbs that compare the book in question to other books/authors"

I completely agree. Those kind of comments can be useful when discussing a book, or when recommending books to friends e.g. 'It reminded me a little of that book you are always on about; I think you'll really like it'. But when it's attached to a blurb, it makes me think the story is just a rip off of something else, especially if it seems like it has nothing better to say about itself.

I also really hate it when instead of saying anything about the novel, we just get a bunch of quotes about how great it is. Stephen King might have thought it was the best horror novel of the decade, but unless I get some kind of clue as to what it is about, I'm putting it straight back on the shelf.

Like Ruth, I hate blurbs that don't give any hint to what the plot is about.

I don't know that there are particular blurbs that turn me off, but I am more likely to read a book if the blurb is funny and/or made by an author that I really like, especially if said author has recommended other stuff that I read and liked. Funny/clever blurbs definitely get my attention.

Michal wrote: "Now a Major Motion Picture."

I'm not sure why this is a problem.

Geoff wrote: "Michal wrote: "Now a Major Motion Picture."

I'm not sure why this is a problem."

Because to not like something that everybody will soon know about is actually cooler then just liking the popular things. Hipsters......

Joking if course...........mostly..............

Michal wrote: "Now a Major Motion Picture."

More people buy the original/non movie cover than the movie cover of books.

I just ignore them. I figured they were just made up by some marketing person anyway. Though I do hate when they change the covers to a picture of some actor.

Sandi wrote: I'm also turned off by blurbs that ask questions. Such as:

Picture your life without free will.

No choice. No voice. No personal direction.
"

I don't mind when a blurb poses questions, especially philosophical questions like the free will one you listed, because that give me a clue that the book is at least trying to challenge something.

I don't even read blurbs...they are just marketing and probably out of the control of the author.

Micah wrote: "Geoff wrote: "Michal wrote: "Now a Major Motion Picture."

I'm not sure why this is a problem."

Because to not like something that everybody will soon know about is actually cooler then just liking the popular things. Hipsters......

Joking if course...........mostly.............. "

Even worse is "SOON to be a Major Motion Picture."

I recall that appellation emblazoned across the top of some technothriller I read back in the 90s, proclaiming it to be the next movie starring Bruce Willis. Which never came to be. Just because you *sold* the book to Hollywood doesn't mean it's going to be a movie.

Worse than "now a" or "soon to be" is "adapted from the major motion picture". Even if I really like the author, I'm never reading that book.

The only other pet peeve I have is a blurb from an author I've grown to despise. It's not fair to the author but I think "well, if [name deleted] likes it, the book must be terrible."

^I have found a remarkable correlation between books I dislike and books with a blurb from Robert J. Sawyer.

Anything that makes a comparison to J. R Tolkien or G. R. R. Martin.

Regarding motion picture editions of book. They are usually undesirable to second hand bookstores. I had a brand new copy of I Am Legend, the one with Will Smith on the cover. Both bookstores I tried to get rid of it at were not interested. BookOff wouldn't even give me 10 cents for it.

Kristina wrote: "I just ignore them. I figured they were just made up by some marketing person anyway. Though I do hate when they change the covers to a picture of some actor."

Agreed.

One funny blurb I saw (relatively) recently was on Leviathan Wakes from George R.R. Martin. On some copies it merely says, "...a kickass space opera." But the full quote on the hardback reads, "It's been too long since we've had a really kickass space opera."

He's not actually saying THIS is a kickass space opera... heh.

Blurbs that are about the author or series, but not the particular book it appears on. Makes me feel like nobody had anything nice to say about this book, so they slipped an old blurb about a previous book in and hoped no one would notice. Especially troubling the further into an author's career you get and you realize every book has the same generic blurb.

Only tangentially related, but it bugs me when the author's name is huge on the cover, but I have to search around to find the actual title. This seems to be particularly prevalent in the types of books that dominate airport book shops.

Aaron, that annoys me to. That makes me question if the novel is any good because they're clearly selling the author.

Aaron wrote: "Only tangentially related, but it bugs me when the author's name is huge on the cover, but I have to search around to find the actual title. This seems to be particularly prevalent in the types of..."

Alex wrote: "Because those Major Motion Picture books also have a new, dumb cover.

Instead of the original cover art which looks fantastic, it is usually replaced by a picture of the actor.

Don't get me wrong..."

Agreed.

This doesn't happen as often with books as with films, but I hate one or two word blurbs.

"Excellent!" - The New York Times
"Tense and exhilarating" - some blogger

Jeremiah wrote: "This doesn't happen as often with books as with films, but I hate one or two word blurbs.

"Excellent!" - The New York Times
"Tense and exhilarating" - some blogger"

But. But. But. It's BOTH tense AND exhilarating. What's not to love? ;)

Quote: "This book was total garbage while his last book was excellent!"

Blurb: "Excellent!"

Quote: "Some novels are tense and exhilarating, this isn't one of them."

Blurb: "Tense and exhilarating."

I'm with AndyP - if I read "The next JRR Tolkien" I have already a bad feeling about the book. Even though I consiously know that the guy that wrote this has not read the book and probably only a vague idea what it's about and the author has no say at all in what people put on his book, I initially dislike it.

I was also extremely confused when I encountered these blurbs for the first time in a n ebook. Guys, I bought the book already and had no way of seeing these blurbs beforehand - why do you waste all these pages, and in addition, why do you fill it with praise about a different book?

It was I think in Red Country, filled with praise about the The Blade Itself. In my mind especially bizarre, as Abercrombie makes a point of using very different genres in his standalones (here western vs. epic fantasy), so his books quite naturally appeal to different kind of readers.

11/22/63 is a great example of a blurb that doesnt work.

The title, front cover and blurb all insinuate that the main point of the book is the assassination when in reality that's a side story for the main story which was a bloody love story.

Couldnt they have told us this in the blurb instead of having to read 800+ pages?

I felt cheated.

Pickle wrote: "I felt cheated."

You were reading King. That feeling should have been assumed.

I try to avoid blurbs, as in general they're clearly a form of marketing intended for potential audiences who aren't me. There are a few books I ended up loving, that had blurbs on them from people I didn't like.

E.g., George R. R. Martin feels Robert Jordan's blurb on A Game of Thrones contributed greatly to the book's early success. But by 1996, I was sick of Jordan and anyone trying to be like him, and thus I gave AGoT a wide berth at the time, only to go back a decade later and love it. But in the balance, I'm sure GRRM prefers to have had millions of Jordan fans pay attention to his book in that first year than a handful of reflexive Jordan-dismissers like me.

Aaron wrote: "Only tangentially related, but it bugs me when the author's name is huge on the cover, but I have to search around to find the actual title."

This is like the First Law of Publishing. If an author's name is bigger on the cover than the title, that means the author has become the brand, as far as the publisher's concerned. Expect little to no editing, and for the book to contain at least 200 pages of unnecessary filler.

From the publisher's perspective: Why are you going to waste time and money editing Stephen King or James Patterson when their name alone is going to sell a couple million copies?

Pickle wrote: "11/22/63 is a great example of a blurb that doesnt work."

See above. I don't even know why they bother blurbing King anymore.

A lot of King's paperbacks don't even have summaries on the back--just a photo of Stephen King.

Kevin wrote: "Michal wrote: "Now a Major Motion Picture."

More people buy the original/non movie cover than the movie cover of books."

Because movie cover art sucks donkey epididymes.

Aaron wrote: "Only tangentially related, but it bugs me when the author's name is huge on the cover, but I have to search around to find the actual title. This seems to be particularly prevalent in the types of..."

Also tangential but also bugs me: When what looks like the book title is actually the series title and the actual book title is shoved off to a corner somewhere. (Mistborn: The Final Empire I'm looking at you ...)

Trike wrote: "Quote: "This book was total garbage while his last book was excellent!"

Blurb: "Excellent!"

Quote: "Some novels are tense and exhilarating, this isn't one of them."

Blurb: "Tense and exhilarating.""

Well put.

Nekroskop wrote: "I'm with AndyP - if I read "The next JRR Tolkien" I have already a bad feeling about the book. "

Reason #1 I was suspicious of Shannara.

While on tangents - I have a special hatred for books that

a) don't state that they are part of a saga
b) if they do, they don't state WHICH part
c) books that change format in the middle of the saga

@firstname - at least there you got what they told you - a retelling of LOTR with other names ;)

Because movie cover art sucks donkey epididymes."

You can expand you vocabulary in the weirdest ways sometimes. I feel irrationally smarter now having looked up epididymes and adding it to my word quiver. Thank you for brightening my morning Firstname.

Michal wrote: "A lot of King's paperbacks don't even have summaries on the back--just a photo of Stephen King."

This is just like all the mass paperback edition of The Wheel of Time, which just have the list of the books in the series.

Pickle wrote: "11/22/63 is a great example of a blurb that doesnt work.

The title, front cover and blurb all insinuate that the main point of the book is the assassination when in reality that's a side story for..."

I hated the extra side story with the love story that is basically a normal size book itself.

Aaron wrote: "Because movie cover art sucks donkey epididymes."

You can expand you vocabulary in the weirdest ways sometimes. I feel irrationally smarter now having looked up epididymes and adding it to my wo..."

Happy to be of assistance.

I usually have a constant war with myself when I can see the back cover of a book I'm reading because I know if I read it I will accidentally spoil the story for myself. Therefore my pet hate is when the blurb gives too much away about the plot. It is supposed to be a teaser, not like a movie trailer that tells the whole story and makes you feel like there's no longer any point in going to see the movie.
From the publisher's perspective, I can appreciate how hard it is to write a blurb (it's one of my least favourite parts of my job), and actually I can well imagine a marketer being commissioned to write a blurb and being given a stupid deadline that means there is no opportunity for him to read the book before it goes to print.

If I see a book in which a famous author says something really generic, I know I need to avoid that book like it's a vector for ebola: it means they either didn't finish it, they're being payed to blurb it, or they read it and it sucks but that's the best thing they could come up with.

I don't think professional authors are every paid for blurbs. If someone else knows differently, I'd love to hear about it.
I agonize over blurbs. I hate blurbs that spoil the story for me. So, I do tend to err on the side of generic when I blurb a book. Rather than say, "You'll love the scene where she knifes her mother in law!" I'll say something like, 'dynamic characters and great action.' And if someone sends me a book that 'sucks' my response is not to blurb it. And that is true of most of the other pros I know. So, if you see my blurb on a book, I read it and I liked it enough to recommend it. Again, true for most pros I know.

Robin wrote: "I don't think professional authors are every paid for blurbs. If someone else knows differently, I'd love to hear about it.
I agonize over blurbs. I hate blurbs that spoil the story for me. So, ..."

Whoa, thanks for the input! Most of what I've said are things I assumed, based on various blurbs both at the start of books and on the covers; I don't have any proof whatsoever, lol. So it's nice to know how authors think when they're blurbing directly from a pro :)

to me, the worst is the movie one. Or the appeal to popularity "a new York best seller".

Sandi wrote: I hate blurbs that compare the book in question to other books/authors...

That does it for me. Pretty much guaranteed to make me put the book back down, expecially when it combines 2 different authors... like Charles Dickens meets William Gibson...

Also, any blurb featuring the word 'rollercoaster'

Blurbs are a test. Let's me know something about the author (or blurb writer, if he/she/it had one. I HAVE to know something about the plot beyond "a character goes on an amazing journey". Something has to differentiate it from the generic notion of "novel". If an author is too limited to covey that, I'll pass.

The blurb should also give me a hint of the author's writing style. Here's where I hate having blurb writers write the thing for h hi m. Then I go to the sample, and it sounds nothing like the author.

And the blurb should hint at theme.

What I hate, besides many of the things already listed, is when they tell me a generic "something happens that changes his life". Yeah? It's a novel, something BETTER happen to change the character's life.

I think authors clutch too closely sometimes to details that could help a reader make up his mind, because they fear spoiling the moment something is revealed. Well, knowing there was an "Alien" in the "Alien" movie, didn't spoil that scene, but it did get me into the theater to see the movie.

Killian wrote: "Any blurb where something is grammatically incorrect or just inane. Example; on the back of the Uplift Trilogy omnibus (which I really I really enjoyed) it said that the plot moved 'at neckbreak sp..."

lmao! Neckbreak speed? Sounds like someone mistakenly sat in a chair with a short seatback when the ship accelerated to Warp speed. Funny, that reminds me of the scene in 2010 when they accelerate around Jupiter. Best scene of the whole movie.