Making Connections discussion

While I have technically placed this book into a published state I am constantly looking to improve it and as such would like another 10 people (or so) to read with a view on improving the book. I can provide in either Mobi or Epub (or other format if more useful)

Have you considered hiring someone? DO you intend to hire anyone in the future?

I hired for my first book and once I have paid that off I will hire again =)

I read the sample pages. A few things:

1. Learn how to use an em dash
2. "It's the eyes the strike him..." FIX
3. Correct verb-tense inconsistencies. They're everywhere.
4. Get rid of "he remembered." Of course he remembers...it's a flashback. Flashbacks are risky, especially to begin a story.
5. Learn the correct formatting of an ellipsis.
6. Beware of repetition. In a couple sections, you write exactly the same thing, but in two different ways. "It's hard...it requires an effort."
7. Hire someone. Trust me.

Good luck!

I'll have a look at it for you.
word doc please, to [email protected]