Diving in Deep discussion

There is something I have to get off my chest ever since I’ve read this book (and a lot of others to be honest).

What is it with these top/bottom associations in these M/M books?

“Cameron could almost always read a guy’s preference in the way he held himself …. Fucking hell he should have seen it. He did see it at the bar that afternoon, but he’d ignored it. Noah didn’t give off a bottom vibe. Despite his long hair and apple-shaped, fuckable ass, Noah carried himself like a top, stood like one, crowded in and challenged like one, except around Cameron.”

Help me out here, guys and girls.
So apparently there is not only a gaydar, but also a bottom-dar? Is that a thing?

And of course stereotypical masculine appearance and behavior indicates a top? Uh huh.

I want to throw a challenge out there. Rec me a book about a slender, twinky dom-top and his hairy, burly, muscular, submissive bottom.
And here is the twist: The burly bottom does NOT, I repeat NOT, gasp, struggle with his preferences.
(Unless of course struggling with the submission IS the kink for both of them, that’s hot, too :D)

Anyone?

Dani wrote: "There is something I have to get off my chest ever since I’ve read this book (and a lot of others to be honest).

What is it with these top/bottom associations in these M/M books?

“Cameron could..."

I don't have any recommendations, but I would like to point out that Cameron only thought he had bottom-dar. He was wrong - Noah is comfortably and happily versatile.

So interesting!

I guess, with K.A. Mitchell I'm always not quite sure if the way she deals with the top/bottom dynamic is sophisticated - as in Cameron's unreliable POV just reflects HIS preconceptions/hang ups, or if she plays into several tiring M/M tropes ( for example (1) stereotypical alpha will be the top, IF he bottoms it is the ultimate indication of true love,
(2) a non-femme bottom always struggles with bottoming at first and if he does it it is a big deal and makes him fall for the top etc......)

What are your thoughts?

Since reading more of her books I lean towards thinking that the way she plays with it is rather sophisticated. It is always an issue with her characters (and always loaded with meaning), but her pairings have all kinds of dynamics and often their sexual roles put them in tension with the reverse dynamic in other parts of the relationship.

I just think in real (gay) life this whole issue is not loaded with so much meaning as in most M/M books, at least for the younger generation - and passages as cited above sometimes just rub my feminist heart the wrong way.

What are your favorite K.A. Mitchell books?