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Reviewers needed for the first of my slightly scifi, serial killer series!
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J. J.
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rated it 5 stars
Jul 27, 2015 07:16PM

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All of these statements are true about the story; they are also misleading: A serial killer remains active around the country for years, until he kills a college girl in his home city. The girl's friend enlists the help of an ex-soldier, turned heroin addict, to help find out what happened to her closest friend.
I would love to read & review if there are still copies available. I prefer .mobi or .pdf. My email is [email protected]. Thank You.

[email protected]
thanks!
J. J. wrote: "You're actually the first, haha. Go you!"
Got it, thank you!
Got it, thank you!

You're not too late! I'll need an email address to send it to.


Sophie

Just an observation. I have been wondering why there hasn't been a more positive response to this book. The premise sounds interesting and unique. Your offer sounds good. So I decided to take a look.
Again, this is just one reader's opinion and means very little in the grander scheme of things but I thought I would pass along my first impression. On Amazon I saw....
$2.99 for a kindle from a debut author/book. (not impossible but sets the bar high for reader expectation)
171 pages divided into 49 chapters. (could get choppy; seems like a lot of breaks ... avg. chap = 3.4 pgs)
Cover art - (looks nice; mysterious and very SF; first impression = professional work)
First page /look inside (words on the page are in one big block; seems like a formatting error - or grammar/punctuation)
Then I started reading chapter one... The title of chapter one is?
1:Not where the story begins, but close enough to where the past leaves off. Robert. 15 years ago.
(just read that and try to picture the reader eagerly diving in to get a good grasp of a story that is a puzzle, a mystery, and only has 171 pgs to get it all done.)
Story begins with dialogue but without names.
(Robert was in the title of the chapter, but it's hard to decide if he is speaking or being spoken to.)
First paragraph/page contains:
& instead of 'and'
the phrase/wording: "I thought I'd'have..."
a sentence fragment and punctuation errors (mainly commas)
(while these are not a deal breaker they are a little jarring)
It was also hard to determine who was speaking in the second paragraph. And as there is a paragraph break here, it makes the first paragraph look like it was improperly formatted.
I don't want this to sound critical or negative. I think this is a good start. But this is the FIRST impression to your future readers. It starts with your description that tells them it is "true but misleading". So when they go to Amazon and peek inside the book, you need to both satisfy and pique their curiosity. My humble and relatively unimportant opinion is that it could use a little more polish in the areas I pointed out.
Again, I mean this in an honestly altruistic way, these are just one reader's first impressions. Please don't take offense or feel like I am trying to be anything but helpful.
I'm posting this here so that it doesn't show up in your reviews. I don't want to negatively affect anything. All I wanted to do is try to offer you some friendly feedback from a fellow GR member. (sorry about the alliteration)
Great start though. Good luck and keep up the good work.