Writer's Network discussion

The last topic, has definitely exceeded its limit. SO, this is the new one.

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/4...

HA HA HA H AH! I've writen my first story! Kay...prologue...

kool... My Writing link

Ok what we are suppose to do is post an excerpt of your stories . . . thats how its been with all the other 'Your Stories' . . . .

I wrote a new story, I've only got the first chapter, but its Red Fangs

“Ell?” A voice called. I turned around. Leo was jogging toward me. “Oh, hey Leo.” I said wiping tears from my eyes. “What’s the matter?” he asked, concerned. “Kevin just broke up with me.” I said, trying to keep from crying again. “Oh, Ell, I’m so sorry.” He said, and pulled me into his arms. I breathed in his familiar scent, and for some reason, it made me feel better. He was a lot taller than I was, so he rested his head on mine.

I pulled away after a while, and smiled up at him. “Did you want me to walk you home?” he asked, and I nodded, grateful not to be walking alone. He took my hand, and we started toward my house. “I like your outfit.” Leo commented, I laughed. I was wearing baby blue tank that said Blood-Sucker in swirly red letters across the chest. I had put it with a purple and pink plaid skirt and some black flats that had pink ribbon laced all around. “Thanks.” I said, smiling at him.

I looked around us. We were walking along a street with tons of shops, but they weren’t very busy, seeing as it was Sunday, and a lot of the people in town were very religious. I saw one of my favorite stores, Red Fangs. It was a store completely dedicated to Vampires. They have every vampire book imaginable, fake fangs, legends, posters, shirts, they serve blood-red punch; it’s amazing! I don’t know why, but I’ve always been strangely drawn to vampires. My room was covered with posters about them, a lot of my clothes had something about vamps on them, I had read tons of books on them, I was a total vamp freak. And practically all of my stuff came from Red Fangs.

I pulled Leo over to it. “Hey Kent.” I said to one of the handsome workers as I entered, I knew everyone that worked there. “Hey Ell.” He said, smiling then went back to helping a costumer. I went over to the book section, I’d heard that there was a new Vampire Academy book, and Red Fangs always got the first ever copies. They weren’t allowed to put it out until the release date, but I knew people. “Hi Carly!” I said to the beautiful black-haired girl behind the counter, everyone who worked here seemed to be amazingly gorgeous for some odd reason, she smiled, “Ell! Haven’t seen you in days!” I laughed, “That’s because you’ve been gone!” I lowered my voice so none of the other customers could hear. “You guys have Blood Promise, don’t you?” I asked, she leaned in, and nodded, “Yeah. You want a copy?” she asked, I grinned; “Duh!” she smiled too, and looked around as if someone might over hear. “Come on.” She said, and walked into the back. I followed.

“Here it is!” she said, and held up the 4th book in the Vampire Academy series. “How much?” I asked, pulling out my wallet, she checked the box, “Fifteen dollars even.” She said, and I handed her the money, “You are now the first person ever to own a copy of Blood Promise!” she said, and handed me the book. “Hurray!” I said.

We left the back room and Carly took her place behind the counter. I saw Leo looking around confused, and laughed. “Sorry Leo. I had to do something.” I said as I reached him. He smiled. I looked behind him, and saw a new insanely gorgeous face that I had never before. Two, now that I looked again. Some new members of the Red Fangs gang, obviously. I wondered, not for the first time, why they only had super beautiful people working here. Maybe they should change the name to Red Fangs and its Gorgeous Employees.

That's the first chapter, not very captivating *shrugs*

It is ,too!

My first chapter is really stupid!

Misty sat in the massive dining room in the mansion that she called home. She stared down at her banana, her breakfast. Misty thought about her parents who were on another busiess trip pf some sort. Nobody knew what Mr and Mrs Bond did as a living and Misty never questioned them. All she knew was that it kept the dishes rimmed with gold and her clothes designer.

With her parents gone, there was only Pablo the chef and Teresa, the housekeeper in the 4 story house. Teresa was Misty's caregiver and motherly figure when her real mother wasn't there. The maid was an plump, elderly woman with thinning blond hair and round glasses.

Misty ran the bell that called on Teresa. Misty didn't like to use it and see servants scurry up to her like slaves, but her parents(and Teresa) insisted that she used it. Teresa pushed open the heavy wooden doors to the dining room and let her face peek in.

"You called me, child?" asked Teresa in her trilling voice

Misty smiled in spite of herself. Teresa was always so cheerful that it simply rubbed off of people.

"Yeah, could you please bring my backpack?" Misty replied, moreof a order than a question.

Teresa nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, dear. The red one with gold stripes and the butterfly or the blue one with cubes?"

"The red one." Misty said.

Teresa smiled and closed the door

those are realy good!

yeah! Both awesome!

I really cant wait until Blood Promise comes out!!!!!!

hehe! i have to read that series!

oooo....I love that series. hehehe...I didn't know about the excerpt thing...oops

Iits ok!

Chapter 1
Run



“Hurry up, go, go, go!” cried Ana as her younger sisters ran out the back door of their small house.
The soldiers had come to destroy their small hometown late at night when everyone was asleep. Now many houses were only piles of wood and metal, not to mention flesh and blood.
At first, only one person was looking for her, but now that everyone had heard of who was being searched for, everyone became a suspect of hiding her from him. Every town was being searched, but this town was so small that it wasn’t even on the map, that’s why none of the soldiers had shown up. Until now.
Screams echoed in Ana’s ears as she and her sisters ran from their small house. Then they heard the tortured screams of their parents being killed. Ana’s instincts were telling her to turn around, but her mother’s last words to her repeated in her mind and she kept running.
Luckily, the soldiers hadn’t bothered to investigate the barn where their horses were. Ana ran to the barn and flung open the heavy, wooden doors. She and her sisters ran in and they each hurriedly tacked up their horses. Then they jumped on and galloped out of the barn, toward the sound of the screams and falling houses.
“Shouldn’t we be heading in the other direction?” shouted Destiny. Ana didn’t answer. They were in their front yard, now. One soldier turned and saw them.
“Hey!” he shouted at them.
“Hurry!” cried Ana.
The man turned on his horse and galloped after them. Ana nudged her horse and her sisters did the same and they sped up. By now, more soldiers saw them and were chasing after them. Ana looked back and saw their house on fire. The man who had shouted at them was close behind. Then she noticed his eyes. They were full of fear and sorrow. She nearly fell off her horse as it reared up in fear. She hadn’t realized that she was right in front of a house on fire. She swiftly turned to the left and galloped away from the angry flames. Her sisters followed her as she galloped out of the town with the soldiers hot on their trail. She looked behind her once more and saw that if she didn’t think of something quick, she and her sisters would be captured.
Then she saw the woods on either side of her.
“Split up!” she cried. Her sisters nodded and nudged their horses into different directions. Then she saw a fallen log across her path. As she nudged her horse to jump, she heard the man behind her cry out in pain and when she turned in her saddle she caught a glimpse of a blue, almost black, feather on the arrow shaft that stuck up from the man like a stick in the mud.
She nearly fell off of her horse again as she turned in her seat to jump. Luckily, she was a skilled rider, and recovered quickly.
When Ana turned in her seat again to see if anyone was behind her, she saw the man that had shouted at her earlier. What is with this guy, Ana thought. When she saw his face, she nearly fell out of her saddle. It was Ryan.
Ana had known Ryan since she was a little girl. He had loved horses, but his family could never afford to keep one. Her family had always had horses and soon, Ana’s family had befriended the shy, quiet Ryan.
Ryan didn’t look like a little boy anymore. He was tall and muscular. He had crystal blue eyes and dark hair. He had a gentle, but fierce look in his eyes.
“I thought I would never catch up to you,” Ryan gasped, clearly out of breath, “why didn’t you recognize me?”
“Because you looked so angry and fierce,” Ana replied, breathing hard and then, smiling teasingly, “And because you don’t look like a little boy anymore.”
Suddenly, they heard the shouts of soldiers behind them.
“We’d better get out of here,” Ryan said. Ana nodded and nudged her horse into a gallop.
Out of nowhere, Ana heard her sister’s screams. Why didn’t they go to the river? Ana thought. She turned her horse around and galloped full speed toward her sister’s screams.
“Ana?” Ryan asked as she flashed past him.
He didn’t hear them?
Suddenly, a soldier on horseback jumped out in her path and cut her off. Instinctively, Ana pulled an arrow from her quiver and shot him. As he slumped off his horse, Ana undid the saddle and bridle in one swift movement and slapped the horse on the rump. As the horse galloped away, Ana took off again toward her sisters.
Meanwhile, Ryan was having a hard time keeping up with Ana, when suddenly, a soldier jumped out in front of Ana and, instead of turning around, Ana seemed to brush past him. Only when Ryan passed the soldier on the ground had he realized what Ana had done.
Wow, he thought, when did she learn to do that?

As Ana was urging her horse to go faster, she realized that it was taking a longer time than she thought to get to her sisters. When she finally got to them, they had been surrounded by more soldiers that were closing in on them. Ana readied her bow and took a shot at a particularly large, bulky man that was about to draw his sword on her youngest sister, Abby.
Oh, no you don’t, Ana’s thoughts swirled around in her mind as she released the arrow. The arrow hit him square in the heart. He immediately fell off his horse and his comrades looked at Ana in shock.
Ana didn’t wait for them to get over their disbelief, she took another arrow and as she swiftly readied it in her bow, the other soldiers started to realize what was happening. They readied their own bows, but Ana had already taken another shot and had hit another man in the chest.
Ana looked at her sisters and saw that the soldiers had already hurt them. Destiny had deep cuts on her arms and poor little Melany had been cut on her forehead.
Rage swelled in Ana as she looked at her sisters scared, bruised faces. She took a shot at another soldier and nailed him. There were only three soldiers left, and Ana finished all of them off quickly.
When Ryan finally caught up with them, he stared at the dead soldiers and then looked at Ana. Her face was distorted with pure anger, and Ryan new that he had to calm her down. He slid off his horse and walked over to Abby. When Abby recognized him, she hugged him fiercely and wouldn’t let go. Ryan picked her up and threw her into the air. When he caught her, she wouldn’t be set down until he did it again. Ana smiled and remembered when Ryan used to be the boy that would tease her sisters with little garter snakes and frogs.
“What happened back there?” he asked Ana.
“What do you mean?”
“The soldier,” he told her, “he had one of your arrows stuck in him.”
“I’m not exactly sure,” she replied.
“Well it doesn’t matter,” he said, “what matters now is that your sisters are safe.”
“We need to find a safe place to stay,” Ana told Ryan.
“Follow me,” he said, “I’ll take you to my house.”

That's good!

Here be a portion of Adventures of a Wayward Witch:

When I was five years old, I had a bad day at kindergarten. “Mom,” I said, when I got home. “I don’t think anyone likes me.”

“Oh, Morgan,” she crooned. “That doesn’t matter.”

I was crying, holding my little backpack close to my chest. Mom lifted me into her arms, ignoring the fact that I was far too big for that by then. She settled us in one of the many winged armchairs and stroked my hair.

“Sweetie,” she said softly. “Oh, my darling Morgan. You are far too special for those other children to appreciate.”

“I’m not special,” I protested softly, burying my tear-streaked face in her shoulder.

“But you are. You are Morgan Mauve McAllister, a daughter of the McAllister Coven. One day, your name will be known by the entire magical world. You are a thousand times more special than any of those children in your class. Morgan, one day, you will know just how amazing you are.”

“But I don’t have any friends,” I insisted.

“McAllisters don’t need them,” Mom told me gently. “Your sister—your cousins—will be the only people who you can trust. Your aunts, your grandmother. The women of this family will be there for you, Morgan, until your dying day.”

I believed her then. Why wouldn’t I?

I spent my first twenty-one years being the perfect McAllister. After that day, Mom decided it would be best if I was home schooled. I ignored those lesser people, the ones who didn’t share my name, my power. As for my cousins and my sister, we were best friends. I idolized the older women of my family, especially the matriarch of the Coven, Maisie.

I learned to control my powers. My line of the McAllister family was gifted with the ability to control darkness and shadow. I was able to become almost invisible, I could trap someone in his own shadow. I could put out the sun. Mom told me that I was far more powerful than her, or even my aunts, when they were my age.

On my tenth birthday, I was inducted into the feud. I learned that there was another family, almost as powerful as mine, called the Rodericks. Our ancestors had hated each other, went so far as to try and kill their opposition. Six generations later, we were still at war.

For twenty-one years, I did everything I was supposed to. I believed what Mom had told me that day. I was sure that anyone who was not a McAllister didn’t deserve notice. I hated the Rodericks with every fiber of my being.

Until I met one.

nice.

thanks. the rest of it's on my profile.

I need help! Not just comments!

2nd chapter of my story:


Savanna was in a burning house all forms of escape involved running through fire, And she was not going to do that. She heard something, it was getting closer. She could barely make it out. Then the voice was deafening.

"Savanna Lee Diamond! You'll be late for school!"

Savanna's eyes flew open. She was in her room. Her fuming mother next to her bed. She closed her eyes again.

"Savanna! Get up now! This is unexceptable behavior!"

Savanna sighed and opened her eyes again.
----------------------------------------------------------------

The bus stop was packed with kids. All of them were greeting friends they haven't seen over the summer. Savanna had nobody to greet.

Over a distance, she saw a figure standing outside the cluster of kids. The figure held a red backpack. Savanna was surprised to find someone other than her looking like a pigeon in a flock of flamingoes. Savanna smiled wryly at her own description. She never had fit in with the crowd. At school she was know as the "freaky genius girl". A voice broke her flashback.

"Hey weirdo! What you staring at?"

Savanna knew the voice well. It was Lorie Davis. Lorie was the second most popular girl in the school after Jesse Whisperwind. Jesse was nice and helpful, as well as pretty, but Lorie was the exact opposite. Sure, she was Lorie was pretty, but beauty was skin deep. What Lorie was on the inside was very ugly, as far as Savanna knew. Savanna came up with a witty response.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you, Retard."

Lorie narrowed her eyes. "Try me." she sneered

Savanna folded her arms and looked away. "I'd rather not." Savanna retorted back.

Lorie's blue eyes were now slits. "I guess, I'd rather NOT know. Whatever you were thinking was probably stupid and idotic."

"Next time you go to a bookstore, buy a thesaurus. Your synonyms are getting repetative."

In the absoloute silence that surrounded the girls came a cheer. Everyone, including Lorie and Savanna turned to look at who it was. It was the figure that Savanna had seen earlier. It was Misty.

It's interesting. Unless the dream at the beginning is symbolic, though, I'd suggest getting rid of it. And maybe not talking about Jesse until later in the story. If you introduce too many characters in the beginning it can get really confusing!

Holly wrote: "Here be a portion of Adventures of a Wayward Witch:

When I was five years old, I had a bad day at kindergarten. “Mom,” I said, when I got home. “I don’t think anyone likes me.”

“Oh, Morgan,..."

Oh I love that story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its one of my faves on Goodreads!

Holly wrote: "It's interesting. Unless the dream at the beginning is symbolic, though, I'd suggest getting rid of it. And maybe not talking about Jesse until later in the story. If you introduce too many char..."

Yes! Thank you for giving me advice!

No problem. Maybe you could read more of my story on my profile and return the favor?

kay!

Holly wrote: "It's interesting. Unless the dream at the beginning is symbolic, though, I'd suggest getting rid of it. And maybe not talking about Jesse until later in the story. If you introduce too many char..."

I added the dream to make it more interesting...I don't know...my writing style is stream of conceinse...and yes, I'm aware I spelled that wrong.

THere are a lot of things you could do to make it more interesting, but I think the dream was a little too out there. A lot of the times, when you put a dream in a story, it has to be symbolic otherwise it comes off as really odd and random, which you don't want your writing to be. It has to be something the reader can follow.

I agree. Are you going to be switching point of views a lot?

yup! I'll alternate between Jesse, Misty and Savanna

I'm not sure on the title of this one yet. Its a vampire story. The first chapters not very captivating... none of my first chapters are *Shruggs*


I sat on the floor of my bedroom, searching for my earring. I lay down beside my dresser, by golden hair spread out around me, and looked under it. Nothing. “Where are you? Come on, I just dropped you!” and suddenly there was a glint to the left of me. I crawled over, and there was my earring, under my bed, half hidden by the folds of my sheets that fell to the floor. I could have sworn-the song ‘Call Me’ rang through the room. I placed my earring on my dresser, and grabbed my phone. I didn’t need the caller ID to know it was my best friend Isabelle, because ‘Call Me’ was set for only her number.

“Hello, you’ve reached Aria Zarcoff, leave a message after the beep. Beeeep!” I said into the phone, and my friend’s cheerful laugh answered,
“Ri! That’s not what your answering machine says!” Iz said
“What if I changed it?” I retorted
“That was a totally fake beep!”
“You got me there.” I said, and laughed. I could practically see her smiling into the phone. “What’s up?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh, right,” that’s Iz, my scatterbrained bff “I was thinking of having a get together Friday. You know, with lots of people to celebrate the New Year and to welcome the new kids.”
“And you want me to…”
“Help with the invitations and the planning?” She said it like a question
“Ok, sure! It’s not like I’ve got anything important to do anyway” I could tell she was beaming,
“Great!” There was a shout in the background that I couldn’t quite make out. “Oh, got to go. See you tomorrow! First day of school! 10th Grade! Yay!” there was a click, and then silence.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and went over to my computer. I used to have a dinosaur, but my mom had decided I needed a newer one when I turned 12, she said it was for school reports and research, but I knew better, my mom just loved spoiling me.

I pressed the on button, and waited. When it stopped loading, I went to some of my favorite sites, then checked my email. I had 75 messages, those stupid weekly website emails. I deleted all of those, and there were 13 messages left. A lot of them were forwards, I deleted those, and was left with 4 messages. I opened the one from Isabelle:
Hey Ri! In case I 4get 2 call u, I’m throwing a party Friday, & was wondering if ud help out. Please! I got Hanna, Mia, Jesse, Benny, April, Kevin, Avery, Willa, Vic, Lia and Danny to agree! But we need ur help! ur the most creative!!
☺, Iz!!
I laughed, at least she thought to send this. I quickly typed back:
Its a good thing you remembered to call me! But its good to know all our friends are helping out too! ♥, Ri!

I went back to mail, and opened the one above Iz’s, it was from Jesse.
I was just conned into helping with Iz’s party! Did she reel you in too? Except I wasn’t exactly “reeled” it was more like “forced” Do you know who else is helping? Come on! Tell me! Now! No wait…when you get this type back IMMEDIATELY!
I rolled my eyes and replied:
Yes, I was reeled in too, but I chose to help, I wasn’t forced. Hanna, Mia, Benny, April, Kevin, Avery, Willa, Vic, Lia and Danny are also helping.
P.S. I did write back IMMEDIATELY! ☺
♥, Ri!

The next one was from my dad, who was away on a business trip.
Hi Hunney! I just wanted to say hi, wondering whats up, and also tell you that I got you a present! But I won’t tell you what it is yet, don’t want to spoil it!
I didn’t write back, because I knew it would be a rather long email, and went on to the last one.

This one said it was from the school. Great.
Dear Aria Zarcoff,
We are proud to welcome you to the Honors Committee. As your first honorable duty, you will be welcoming the new students in your grade this year. You have been assigned a student to help and befriend and will receive that assignment August 26. I hope you enjoy your new year and have high hopes for you.
Sincerely,
Principle Tiffany Wes

What the heck!? I didn’t sign up for Honors Committee! My brow furrowed. Iz had said she wanted to join the Committee, and had asked me if I wanted to do it with her. What had I said? I slapped my forehead. I had been caught up in rushing home, that I had said “Sure, sounds like fun.” And run off. Well, At least I’d know all the new people for Iz’s bash on Friday.

Hey Bianca

Hello? I really wanna Rp on Totally TWILIGHT!!!

♪*B*♪ Music is my Passion! wrote: "I'm not sure on the title of this one yet. Its a vampire story. The first chapters not very captivating... none of my first chapters are *Shruggs*


I sat on the floor of my bedroom, searching f..."

That was really good!!!

♪*B*♪ Music is my Passion! wrote: "I'm not sure on the title of this one yet. Its a vampire story. The first chapters not very captivating... none of my first chapters are *Shruggs*


I sat on the floor of my bedroom, searching f..."

It was really good!

Hm...interesting, mysterious! It is good. I really want know what happnes next! What's with the honors committee???

no idea . . .

Something I made up that only her school does. Its a group of kids that do things for the school and stuff. Like: help new kids; be the decorators; and whatever else I come up with, I made it up for a reason though, ulll see!

kk!

Heh heh! I has a feeling...

meh too

Chapter 1
Naturally

Moon glanced around at the forest. She had been chopping wood and thought she had heard something. She shrugged to herself and stretched. She walked back to her house in the middle of the forest. She smiled as she watched her younger sisters work their farm.
Moon and her sisters had lived for a long time by themselves. Their parents had died when Moon was fifteen. She had to take care of her younger sisters until they were old enough to live on their own.
Moon was the oldest, 19, and was a natural born leader. She had milky white skin and deep brown eyes. She had been born with brown, almost black, hair with a streak of silver in it.
Cassandra, known as Cassie, was 15 and was the fiercest of all of the girls. She had tan skin, light brown eyes, and dirty blonde hair with bronze streaks in it.
Destiny and Abby were twins, 10, Destiny was the older of the two, but was the quieter one. Abby was loud, unlike her twin, and could be stubborn. Both twins had light brown hair with gold streaks in them. They both had tan skin and light brown eyes.
Moon called her sisters over. Destiny and Abby ran over, racing as usual. Cassie came over from repairing the roof of the barn.
“Time for lessons, guys,” Moon said, “Today I’m going to show you how to pick the moon fruits.” She walked back into the forest and started climbing a tree with silvery bark. Her sisters followed until they got to the very top of the tree. Then Moon showed them how to pick the fruits that were ripe.
Sure, it might sound easy, but it was hard to climb these types of trees and it was also difficult to tell the ripe fruits from the ones that were still growing.

******
That night as Moon stirred the broiling soup they were having for dinner, rain was pounding outside. A loud crash of thunder scared Destiny and Abby, and they ran over to cling to Moon. Moon laughed at her younger sisters and then set the table for dinner.


******
That night, Moon had a dream about her past…
Six year old Moon ran along through the market, searching for her mother. She didn’t notice where she was going and ran into a boy about her age. He had black hair with red streaks in it and had black eyes tinted with red. His smile made Moon’s heart go cold and when he looked at her, it felt as if she had just jumped off the edge of a cliff.
“Are you all right?” he asked, and held out his hand to help her up.
“I…I think so,” the young Moon said, “I’m Moon.”
“I’m Iron,” Iron said, shaking Moon’s hand.
“Iron? As in the metal?” Moon asked, puzzled.
“No. My name is pronounced I run,” Iron said, grinning. Moon grinned back…
The scene in Moon’s dream changed to when she was eleven.
Iron and Moon ran through the forest with their friends towards the waterfall where they would go every day after working in the fields. Moon laughed and jumped right into the cool water. She waited for her friends to join her before diving under the surface. She popped back up to see Iron right next to her. Her heart went cold and her stomach plummeted. She smiled at him and quickly dove back under.
The scene shifted to when Moon was fifteen, right before her parents had died.
Iron and Moon were by the waterfall alone. Iron had been chosen out of many other young men to join the army
“I love you, Moon,” Iron said suddenly. Moon just stood frozen and stared at Iron. He was taller now, much stronger, and very handsome. Moon didn’t know what to say or do.
The scene shifted one last time…
“Mr. Canselina, when is Iron going to come home from the war?” Moon asked.
“I’m sorry, Moon, but…Iron died in the war…”

Moon shot up in bed, bathed in a cold sweat and breathing hard. It was still raining outside, but the thunder had stopped.

AWESOMEY!

Hey, I'm rewriting the prologue to my book:

I was ten years old when I realized there was evil in the world. Real evil, not that fairy-tale wicked stepmother crap. This evil could murder, burn, and destroy. It didn’t go away when you waved a magic wand. You didn’t wake up with true love’s first kiss. You didn’t wake up at all. You were dead and you stayed that way.

~ * ~

“Morgan,” Grandma Marley said, clapping me on the shoulder. Her voice was soft, gentle. With anyone else’s grandma, that wouldn’t be a big deal. With Marley, it was unnatural. Frightening, even. She’d always been so gruff. “Get your sister and go hide upstairs. Someone’s in the house.”

I nodded and ran off, knowing better than to disobey Grandma Marley. Madison, my eight-year-old sister, was playing with her Barbies. She sat there, methodically dressing and undressing each of them. Their outfits matched perfectly, down to their tiny plastic shoes.

I grabbed her hand and tugged her along. “Come on,” I whispered, pulling her up the marble staircase. “Grandma said to hide.”

We ran into my bedroom, slithering under my double bed. We lay there on our stomachs, our little fingers intertwined. Madison’s palm was sweaty, but I was beyond caring.

A crash echoed up to us, accompanied by a shriek. It sounded like Marley, but it couldn’t have been her. My grandmother didn’t scream. Not even when she saw that giant, hairy spider in the bathroom.

Madison’s hand tightened. “Morgan?” she whispered. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know.” I threw my arm around her shoulders. It was my job to protect her. Even if I didn’t like her. “It’s okay, Mad.”

Another bang sounded, much closer to my room. It was probably just down the hall. Tears started to drip down Madison’s cheeks. “We’re going to die, Morgan.” Her warbling voice was almost inaudible.

“No, we’re not,” I said forcefully. “Grandma Marley will save us.”

Marley would always be able to protect us. Always. She was magic. We all were, but Marley was the best. Our line of the McAllister family had the ability to control darkness and shadow. We were able to become almost invisible; we could trap someone in his own shadow; we could cloak the world in darkness.

I was just learning to use my powers, but Marley was an expert. Good enough to fight off some filthy trespasser, surely.

Madison and I listened, hidden under the bed, as our grandmother shouted at someone. “Give it up, Roderick,” she said. “You were never a match for me.”

“I beg to differ,” a harsh, male voice yelled. The crackle of flames punctuated his statement.

Marley let out a bad word, one that Madison and I were never allowed to use. I heard the characteristic whoosh of her magic. There was a crunch, as someone was thrown into the furniture. I hoped it wasn’t Grandma.

And then, so loud that my eardrums popped, a blood-curdling screech. The thump of heavy feet descending the stairs, the slam of the front door. The squeal of tires against our driveway. After that, it was silent. Eerily, terrifyingly, unnaturally silent.

Madison’s tears were coming faster now, and I had to work at pulling her out from under the bed. We were both shaking. I inched towards the door, opening it carefully, and let out a scream of my own.

In the middle of the hallway, not three feet from my door, was Grandma Marley.

Dead.

Tell me what you think, please!

WOW!!!!!!!!!! That was awesome!!!!!
The ending ended a little quick though, but I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, that's not the end of the prologue. I just thought that'd be a good place to leave you hanging until i post the finished version.

Oh!!! Ok!!!!!!! I was like that cant be it already!

Nope. That's not even half of it.

Great. . . *rolls eyes*

What was that about?

Theres still another half of it! And I cant read it!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. My life is kinda screwy right now, so I'm not writing very much.