Dystopian Society discussion

This book gives me a great chance to pose a personal question that relates to the story. Definitely don’t feel obligated to answer, but I like to think of it as a way to get to know my fellow book club members on a somewhat more personal level.

How do you relate to the characters who live almost solely in the online OASIS world?

I mentioned this in another topic, but as an example for me: This book club. I’d never join or start a book club in my real world for a number of reasons. I find meeting new people to be stressful, I’m awkward and quiet and introverted until you get to know me (like so many other people) and overall I just find the come and go structure of this online book club to be much more convenient. Also I’d probably start nervously sweating if someone asked me “So what did you think of the book?” and everyone just sat there, staring at me, waiting for something completely not stupid to come out of my mouth.

Another example for me: I relate very much to Art3mis in some ways (as I’m sure many girls/ladies/women/people do) in that I like having control over what people see of me online. I’m self-conscious of my appearance and I’ve often shied away from meeting people or going to social gatherings simply because I’m afraid I’ll be judged for either my appearance or my horribly awkward first impression. This is, of course, mostly (if not completely) in my head, but online I’m able to choose the pictures of me that people see. If I say something stupid (as I’ve done *countless* times even in this one post!) I’m able to simply backspace until it’s gone. If someone asks me a question or if I want to join in on a conversation, I can take my time to come up with a response instead of just staring blankly into your face until everyone becomes increasingly more uncomfortable.

So in an online world where you can be anything - How are you different in real life vs. online? What do you do online that you’d rather not do in the real world and why? Do you live a completely different life online? How do you relate to the characters in Ready Player One?

Interesting questions Lindsting, I'll try to answer some of them:

How are you different in real life vs. online?

I’m not that different, I have the same issues I have in real life, online too. I’m kinda socially awkward in both places, I find as hard to be the one to initiate a conversation with a stranger face-to-face, as to initiate a conversation with someone I don’t know online. Maybe it’d be different for me if I was using a pseudonym instead of my real name, but the fact is that having a computer in front of me and not a real person, doesn’t make it easier for me to interact with somebody else.
For instance, it’s not like I’m making friends all over goodreads; it took me a really long time to decide to join a book club such as this one, and even more time to comment on a discussion or write a review, etc. I don’t know, maybe in this case it also has to do with the fact that besides worrying about what I write (in a place where almost everybody seems to be pretty good writing down their thoughts), I also have to worry about how I write it, since English is not my native language (yeah, sounds silly but I’m pretty insecure about that, among other things).
I should mention, that i'm socially awkward only around people I've never met; once I'm comfortable, I'm rather friendly. I guess I'm just not good at first impressions.

But, I agree with you, Lindsting, when you say that online you can take your time to come up with a response… it’s one of the benefits and one of the things I’m not able to do in real life, although it eliminates spontaneity which sometimes is better than overthinking things to much.
Also it's true that online I have the control over what people see of me.

What do you do online that you’d rather not do in the real world and why? Do you live a completely different life online?

As I said before, I’m not that different. I usually try not to write things online, that I wouldn’t say in real life. Well, actually, I guess i'm more careful online.

Well, I guess I'm the opposite of socially awkward - I can't shut up, and I like to be the leader and have a tendency to take over. Hmmm, I guess I do a bit of that online, too. But like you both mentioned, I have the time (and the backspace button!) to organize my thoughts and try to form them into somewhat coherent sentences and paragraphs. I can also self edit when I digress or go on.

I do almost everything online. I was a young widow - only 48 when my husband died 10 years ago. I am also disabled. My few friends I have become distant from - they are working, doing things with their spouses or dating if divorced. So my social life is on the computer now. I keep up with family and friends via social media, and write e-mails to my best friend in Alaska. I do all my shopping, banking, etc. online, as I have difficulty walking through big stores. Besides - I'm a little lazy and how nice to just have Mr. UPS bring me everything I want - that I would have to spend hours traipsing around to find.

I, too, would love to play in Oasis. To be in one of my favorite TV shows or movies - oh, to be in Downton Abby! But as the owner of a crazy, spoiled Boxer with a small bladder, I know I would have to continue to get some fresh air at least several times a day when I walk him! You know what my biggest question was while reading RPO? When do they EAT? They stay up for hours and play - I know they have energy bars, but sometimes they have to have an actual meal. It's never mentioned in the book and it kept bothering me! Silly, huh?

Yami, I would never know you are not a native English speaker!

Jane wrote: "Yami, I would never know you are not a native English speaker!"
Thanks Jane!, you're too kind. Truth is that I've been studying English since I was a little kid, at school, and i'm turning 24 this Sunday, So, I should be less insecure about my skills, but I guess i'm not haha.

Where are you from? I think it's wonderful that you have been studying so long. We don't start foreign language lessons in public schools around here until high school (14 years old). That's WAY too late. I wish my children and I had had exposure to another language at an early age. My oldest daughter DID have some Spanish as a preschooler - I had a neighbor whose children were tri-lingual (Spanish, English, Portuguese) and when she played there they spoke Spanish to try to get her to pick some up. Then they moved away - she did learn a little bit. I studied a little German in High School just so I could go on a trip to Austria. Not enough to really know it, but enough so I wouldn't starve or not find a bathroom in Austria or Germany! I envy you - and you really do write wonderfully in English.

PS - a very happy birthday to you!!

PPS - I have a single 26 year old son LOL

Jane wrote: "PS - a very happy birthday to you!!
Thanks Jane :)
I'm from Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Lindsting wrote: "How are you different in real life vs. online? What do you do online that you’d rather not do in the real world and why? Do you live a completely different life online? How do you relate to the characters in Ready Player One? ."

I lurk a lot more online - it's something I wish I would do a little more in real life. I'm very open, assertive and motivated in real life (my wife would summarise it as "impossible" :) ). I work as a director of a mental health charity, and feel very strongly about social justice, particularly discrimination and inequalities in health and opportunity. This impacts a lot on my life - I'm very likely to dive in and challenge the way things are. Online I can get away from work, and can take the opportunity to re-read what people have written, and respond in a more measured way.

I like how online, as in the OASIS, more people can be considered on their merits and can overcome some of the barriers that would otherwise prevent them from contributing. I also like that in turn I am able to learn more about what they think - I feel that sometimes in real life you can just hear the same people. I particularly enjoy the equality of this group, I'm a member of 4 groups on Goodreads, but this is the only one I feel I want to contribute to.

I found I could sympathise with Wade - I get very absorbed in tasks and doggedly pursue an objective when I can think there is a logical solution to be had.

Also, Yami - Happy Birthday for Sunday!

Lindsting wrote: "How are you different in real life vs. online?"

I'd say I'm not that different, but like you I never would have joined a book club in real life. That has more to do with where I live. My husband and I just moved to a very small town in the middle of nowhere and there aren't many people here our age. We've been trying for months to socially connect, but it's not really ideal. I don't know anyone here who even knows what "dystopian" is.

"Do you live a completely different life online?"

No. I try to be pretty authentic with whoever I'm interacting with -- online or in person. But I do tend to be more hesitant posting pictures of myself online. ;)

I never used to be that active online until I got signed on with a publisher (I'm an author and editor. And yes, I write dystopian, of course! [grin].) As a now contracted author, it's practically a requirement for me to have a presence online. I was intimidated at first, but ever since jumping in I'm now part of this book group, I am friends with authors and readers who all have similar interests, and I feel like I've been able to find a community with which to interact that doesn't exist where I currently live.


By the way, you are all awesome and I'm LOVING being part of this group. Happy early birthday, Yami, and your English is amazing!

Matthew wrote: Also, Yami - Happy Birthday for Sunday! "

Nadine wrote:By the way, you are all awesome and I'm LOVING being part of this group. Happy early birthday, Yami, and your English is amazing!

Matthew, Nadine, Thank you so much!! :)
I absolutely LOVE being part of this group too.

I can definitely relate to the characters that “live” in OASIS. If I were living in the same conditions as Wade, I would definitely be spending most of my waking hours jacked-in.

Lindsting: IRL bookclubs are challanging even if you know everyone! I’ve tried multiple times (over the course of several years) to do a book club with friends but it never works. People drop out at the last minute, the meetups get rescheduled, the people that do show up haven’t read the book. Total nightmare. This (GR) is a far superior, more relaxed and hopefully sweat-free alternative.

Girls/ladies/women are not the only individuals that have self-confidence issues. Being able to recreate yourself is one of the great things about the intrawebs. Although, it also allows trolls to exists, so I guess its not all sunshine and rainbows.

When I am not with close friends or family, I am definitely more reserved and more self-conscious in real life. I try not to rock the boat and to stay unnoticed. I like the anonymity of the internet (or of big cities for that matter). I am more apt to enter into a fierce discussion with someone I’ve never met on some random message board than to strike up a basic conversation face-to-face. Also, the chances of my slaying a dragon are slightly greater online.

But I would miss the human interaction that is lacking in OASIS. IMHFO, the traditional classroom is far superior to the online one. While I enjoy the occasional sports (video) game, it does not compare to a lively pickup game of football/futbol/footy/gridiron/caid. The shared experience of a packed theatre versus the darkened bedroom full of loneliness and despair.

Matthew: Fear not! You can lurk in real life, it’s called stalking. :)