A House in the Sky discussion

This book needs to be turned into a movie, and I would be surprised if that doesn't happen in the next 5 years.

Everything about this book is extraordinary: a narcissistic Canadian girl who saves her money as a cocktail waitress to go on vacations to exotic places in search of adventure. The first 140 pages will you leave you with a very strong feeling of: this girl is a narcissist.

But then, after successfully traveling in Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, she got the idea of going into Afghanistan. While there, she was robbed at gunpoint. After going back to Canada, she receives a job offer from the Iranian government sponsored and newly created English news channel, PressTv. Amanda, being essentially ignorant of the political and moral significance of accepting a job offer from PressTv nonetheless decides on accepting it. She then spends the next 5 months of her life in Iraq, where she is eventually shamed by credentialed journalists from notable publications.While back in Canada, she gets the "adventure urge" again, and decides on travelling to Somalia to cover the topic of Somalian refugee camps for a small alberta newspaper. This and PressTv are her "journalist" credentials. So this helps to frame Amanda as a vain, superficial braggart. This is who Amanda was before. This is what Amanda feels guilt for as she reflects on her life months into her captivity. Think of how interesting this is!

But that's not it. With photojournalist Nigel Brennan - whom Amanda coaxed into coming by mitigating the dangers involved and rubbing in the fact that he wants to be a photojournalist - they head off to Somalia. After a fairly deceptively quiet 3 first days, Amanda and Nigel along with a driver and 2 others are kidnapped at AK47 gunpoint by a group of Islamist militants. Amanda still thinks she can control the situation - her belief in her own self efficacy has her trying to calm Nigel and speak casually with the militant leaders about what is going on. She begins to speak to them with "my brother", "i'm your sister" - an intelligent tactic no doubt, but done in the emotional style of a girl who is narcissistically self-involved.

A few months into captivity, Nigel and Amanda are sharing a single room as they contemplate how they should deal with this situation. Amanda believes they should fake converting to Islam. Nigel is afraid that they'll find out that they're faking it. Amanda gets her way. She tells one of the leaders that she and Nigel would like to say the shahada and convert to Islam. A month later, her and Nigel are separated, because apparently men and women - outside of marriage, and who aren't family - are not allowed to be alone together.

Overtime, Nigel suggests to Amanda that they try to escape through the window in the washroom. When they escape, they're seen, and 45 minutes later after a dramatic scene in the towns mosque - during prayer - they are back in their prison, but this time with chains between their feet.

About a month or two after Amanda and Nigel are separated and put into different rooms, one of the kidnappers - Abdullah - begins abusing, and then raping Amanda. I'm not sure how many times Amanda was raped, but it seems to have been something that happened quite frequently during her captivity. I would estimate anywhere from 50 to 150 rapes over those 463 days of captivity, including a gang rape.

Towards the end of her and Nigels captivity, Amandas kidnappers tied Amanda, both arms together, both legs together, and then tied her legs to her arms so that her back was arched, very tightly, along with her head swell to the arms/legs, and left in that position for 3 days.

The most amazing thing about this book is Amandas own spiritual transformation. What stayed was her resilient self belief, but what left were those attributes of character which Amanda slowly became more aware of as time passed by, and as her sufferings forced her to develop an awareness that would help her survive. Remarkably, Amanda is able to summon the awareness not to cultivate hate, but to try to think compassionately towards her kidnappers. Despite the rapes, threats, violence, emotional abuse, shaming, and malnutrition, or rather, perhaps because of all this, Amanda was able to look deeper into herself, perhaps, deeper into the fabric of human relations, and realize that this entire context was one of suffering: herself, the victim of all of the above, and the perpetuators, the victim of their environment - of the world they learn to see things from, the world which shapes their emotion.

Such a transformation leaves the "kernel" of Amandas resiliency in tact, but the fruit which surrounds it, her personality, how she saw others and how she wanted to be in life, was absolutely changed.

This book NEEDS to be made into a movie.

My picks for each character:

Amanda Lindhout: Jennifer Lawrence
Nigel Brennan: Jake Gylenhaal

Really, really interesting book. If you haven't read, I highly recommend it.

I agree! One of my favorite books! I loved to see Amanda's personal journey and her growth throughout the book. It is so beautifully written and painfully honest at the same time.
It has the potencial to be a great movie for sure!

I totally disagree, I didn't like this book at all. While no one deserves what happened to her, remember that she disregarded what professional journalists told her to do. Did you not notice that everything was about her and not about Nigel? I wonder if she has paid back Nigel's family for paying her ransom?

I just felt she was just a selfish girl, who is now trying to make some money.

Notty. As someone who studies traumatology, it's really unfair for you to assume that she's doing this "for the money". While I agree she was jejune about the reality of what she was getting herself into, the story is ultimately one of spiritual transformation - not common sense.

This is why it is important to put separation between the annoyance one naturally feels in the first 140 pages or so, and what comes next. Amanda's sauffering was truly horrendous. From your comfortable and unlearned perspective, it can be easy to forget that her nervous system - her emotional reality - is deeply scarred by the experiences she endured. From the physical positions, sights and sounds which she experienced during her numerous traumas, she is now forever hyper-sensitive to cues associated with those experiences. As she mentioned, a banana will trigger a cascade of panic and dissociation in her. She will freeze and her body will imagine that she is "back in the room", back with her abusers, back with Abdullah. Can you imagine for a second what that can feel like for her? Imagine being raped. The shame, the feeling of being violated, the utter helplessness. This is what she reexperiences when a relevant cue enters her visual field.

So, It is extremely unlikely that Amanda is "doing this for money". her brain/body bears the scars of the events she describes in her book. They are a constant reminder for her, constantly goading her, transforming her with their tenacity, helping her become a kinder, gentler and more compassionate person.

Notty wrote: "I totally disagree, I didn't like this book at all. While no one deserves what happened to her, remember that she disregarded what professional journalists told her to do. Did you not notice that..."

I completely respect you opinion. But I wonder why people are so quick to judge her...I mean, yes she made a stupid decision, just like every other human being at some point in their lives. The fact that she started her journey in a certain way that we don't agree with, does not mean that her progress is not valid and that what she has to say should be disregarded.

About the money, I agree with Mike in the sense that is very unlikely that's the reason why she is sharing her story. I see it more as a step in her healing process, however if the money is the main reason, I see nothing wrong with that either. Her memories, her story are hers alone and she might do what she wants with it.

And as far as this book being about her, i think is due to the fact that it's her memoir, that shows her experiences during the time they were held hostage and the time before that. So it only makes sense that this particular book is all about her, just like Nigel's book (The Price of Life) is about him and his experiences during what they both went through.

I do agree that her decision was not a very wise one, but that just goes to show us that she's only human. In my opinion the fact that she put herself out there in such an honest way, making room for people to judge her so harshly goes to show how brave and mature she truly become.

Mike, I had the very same thought while reading this memoir! A movie for sure will get the message out there - but as I've read through several commentaries on reviews here, it seems it will be controversial. That is a good thing, as it will get people talking - as long as they're open minded and accepting of ideas that are beyond their comfort level and perspective. I really appreciate how you responded to Notty. Enlightening.

Thanks Suzanne. It's very easy to get annoyed with the person Amanda describes in the book, that is, herself. But I think, frankly, it's not right to respond in that way. Too often people fail to put themselves in other peoples shoes. There's a stubbornness that is all too human which is quick to condemn and excoriate without taking a moment to pause and reflect on the information.

The narcissism we see in Amanda makes sense when you look at her childhood. This was her way to "close off" all the disturbing and disordered things happening around her. Life became predicated for her on "seeking bliss". Unfortunately, this isn't an enlightened way to be. We also have to live responsibly. Wisdom, if it comes to you in your life, will show you that life is about balance. Everything. We have to "walk the line" between chaos and rigidty" in all that we do.

If Amanda didn't learn anything from this experience (highly unlikely) we wouldn't have seen that change of tone that we see towards the end of the book. She seems inadequately repentant of her earlier ways, but this can and should be overlooked because she has since decided to dedicate her life to making the world a better place.

The trauma she went through was enough to burn a place in her mind for the life of others. I want to acknowledge it, and honor it, because thats the right thing to do. When people try to be better and try to live compassionately, it takes a crass and callous mind to not sense it. That's the problem with people who are so overcome with annoyance with Amanda. If I were them, I would exercise some executive self control and take the time to reflect on why I am so unwilling to support the growth of a person like Amanda.

As for the movie, It would be awesome. This story is full of drama and I can imagine how this would translate onto the big screen. Like I said, this book was a national best seller. I would be surprised if hollywood doesn't capitalize on it. I also have this image in my mind of Jennifer Lawrence playing her. She seems to have the type of spunk that Amanda shows throughout the book.

I agree with all these aguements! I think this is one reason that it is such a good book-because it isn't black and white! I won't be surprised at all to see a movie done - soon!

What do you know, Deborah!

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/n...

It will be turning into a movie, as I hoped - and suspected. And anticipate.....

And Rooney Mara seems like a great fit for the part. Can't wait!

I haven't finished this book yet, but I am absolutely loving it so far. I think to call her narcissistic is a slightly harsh, but I do think of her as extremely naive. What makes this book so enjoyable is that she does not try to hide this quality and she does not come off as defensive or sympathy-seeking. She shows her vulnerability and flaws and you really feel like you know her.

And I'm super pumped about the movie. Great leading lady!

I wonder how they will pull together the two parts of the book - all the stuff in the first 150 pages is good but would make a terrible start to the movie. It was the weakest part of the book.

There is going to be a movie for this book.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/amanda-li...

One of the best memoirs I have ever read. Raw. Brilliantly told. Unthinkable circumstances. If you read any book this year, let it be this one.

Mike wrote: "This book needs to be turned into a movie, and I would be surprised if that doesn't happen in the next 5 years.

Everything about this book is extraordinary: a narcissistic Canadian girl who saves ..."

What the absolute fuck is wrong with you? You speak as if you think this horrific ordeal was the best thing that ever happened to her. You act like it "cured" her of her "narcissism". What is your problem? I don't get why everyone thinks she's so self-involved, or even stupid. She grew up in an abusive household and dreaming of travelling was an escape for her. I don't know why that's so hard to grasp. Do you think she's self-involved because she had sexual relationships? Because she knew she was attractive? If she'd been male you would have been cheering her on, and so would everyone else, particularly all the people who paint her as a harpy who "coaxed" Nigel into going to Somalia. The dude made his choice. He was older and more experienced than her, and he had been to war-torn countries before.

She was naive but so is everybody. You were naive too when you were in your twenties. I really think that you need to look at your life and your choices if you're going to read this book and STILL, STILL think it's okay to call Amanda Lindhout names. I mean seriously.

Kira. She was a narcissist. It's not calling her names, but understanding and accepting that at one point in her life - as she was before she came to understand her pathological self-absorption - she was a narcissist. We get plenty of hints of both in what she did (going to dangerous, war torn, socially unstable countries controlled by juntas, radicalized Islamists) underestimating the threat involved and not considering how what she does impacts others (her mother)

In fact, as a psychotherapist, I WANT to use the word, because this is precisely what were witnessing in that part of the novel (and her life). If it seems offensive or judgmental, I don't know what I can do about that for you. Consider for a moment what that could mean? If nobody commented on other peoples behavior, we would basically have no objective standard; but that isn't true, and the post-modernistist experiment has prove to be an utter failure in encouraging self and other destructive behaviors.

I am happy that Amanda has transformed herself. You don't need to be offended for her, or conversely, to be feel that I am criticizing you

As for "if she were male". Ah, is this a projection? Kira, I would say that as much about Amanada as about the Nigel character. But the book is about her and not him. That said, a woman should understand that in entering a profoundly chauvinistic society and culture (such as Somalia, Afghanistan)she's in danger of things (such as rape) that Nigel wouldn't be.