Write Your Heart Out ツ discussion

... where I'll write stuff.

cool:)

Well I'm not really sure if this is any good or not, but here's some random snippety thing I wrote... kind of Beauty and the Beast... sort of... maybe... not really


She slowly walked through the gardens, her white dress barely sweeping the ground. She approached the single red rose that bloomed in the garden, and let her fingers trace the petals, so gently that it felt like less than a breath.
“You shouldn’t be touching that,” a voice boomed from behind her. She reluctantly pulled her hand away and turned. How did he find her here? Why was he here? She looked away and put her gloves back on, trying to hide the scars from long ago.

ooh, kind of like a fractured fairytale...very nice

Daughter of The Night wrote: "ooh, kind of like a fractured fairytale...very nice"

Thanks!

Whoa! Just from that small snippet, I'm already in love with the idea! Nice work. I'd be interested to see where you took this if you expanded it!

Thanks Za-Za! Sorry I didn't see your message until now. I really appreciate it!

Here's a snippet of a different story I've been working on...

I reach out and push a lock of hair off his forehead. "You've killed him," I say softly, tears streaming down my face. "Why would you kill your own son?"

"It was the only way I could silence him. I asked something of him, and he failed. I cannot allow him to roam with this knowledge if he's not doing my bidding."

I glare at him, but can barely see him, the tears blurring my vision. As soon as Vladimir retreats into the trees, I slowly pull the knife from Niklaus' body with trembling hands.

My tears slowly fall onto his blood-soaked shirt. Time slows as I wait. "Please, Niklaus," I plead. "Don't die on me." A sob escapes my mouth, and suddenly I'm bawling, my teardrops cascading down on him like a waterfall. You said that our tears heal. Why aren't they doing their magic?

wow

thanks

Here's some random thing I started...

Shed your fears
Hide your tears

I had more but the rest was absolutely terrible so I'm not sharing it...

awwwww, you should! or at least work on it;)

I don't usually write poetry, but here's something I scribbled down a few minutes ago... Just an experiment to see if I'm any better at poetry, but alas I don't think I am.

Once upon a time I used to dream,
I used to sleep

But now I scream,
My nightmares creep

They haunt
They bite
They taunt
They ignite

My dreams are dust and so am I

These are really good! I love the last poetry.

Thanks! :D

Xandra ~my head's on sideways~ wrote: "I don't usually write poetry, but here's something I scribbled down a few minutes ago... Just an experiment to see if I'm any better at poetry, but alas I don't think I am.

Once upon a time I use..."

It says "The haunt" instead of "they" unless you were meaning that

Thanks i'll fix it

No problem :)

I scribbled it down on my phone so it had some typos... Probably should've checked it before... But I fixed it so its all good... I think

It looks good to me :D

Thanks Ti :D

This is loosely based on something that just happened to me...

You've shot a bullet through my heart
I tried to heal, I need to depart

You've made it worse
I have this curse
I care too much
And you don't feel as such

So I need to depart
You can't have my heart
Build myself a wall
Not letting myself fall

that's so good!

I really like the one about dreams too

That's awesome

Thank you :D

Your welcome can you read on my thread called Belle's Writing and Poems I need some writing tips it would help if I got some tips

Daughter of The Night wrote: "I really like the one about dreams too"

Daughter of The Night wrote: "that's so good!"

Thanks, Alyssa :D

you are very welcome!

Hmmm I think I wrote three other poems... Or two? I can't remember. Maybe I should post them here...

They're kind of personal, but I mean I think they're okay. They came much quicker to me than most of my attempts at poetry. Probably because I had something fueling my writing...

cool:)

Here's the most recent one:

I won't be mourning
I gave you a warning
I've drawn the line
My heart is mine

I've given you multiple tries
But you think all the words I say are lies
I was done crying a while ago
And the distance will just continue to grow


I'm glad I was strong enough to cut the binds
And I've opened up the blinds
Now I can finally see
How you can really be

But I don't care anymore
By now my tears are only lore
And I'm finally flying free
There's no more you and me

niiiiice

Thanks Alyssa :) should I post the others...?

definitely

This one I wrote before the one I just posted, so the "story" behind the poems are a bit jumbled... Here goes...

I shut you out
But I still have doubts
What to do
No patience for you

Three strikes you're out
But I still have doubts
You have one more shot
You deserve it not
I can't do this much more
I might have to walk out the door

The cycle will repeat
So why bother to cheat
I need to just say no
So please I need you to go

Awesome job! I love that they're real to you because I can totally feel that when I read it. It's just always soo good! :) My only smidgen of advice would be to work on the beat a little.

Okay thanks :) I'm still working on my rhyme and rhythm and such... Still a poet in training

Xandra ~if these wings could fly~ wrote: "Okay thanks :) I'm still working on my rhyme and rhythm and such... Still a poet in training"

Lol, well, you are doing extremely well. :)

Thanks Za-za :)

Here's another one (I don't think it's as good but it's alright):

Just leave me alone
Or else all I’ll be is skin and bone
I gave you time to sort things out
Yet when I try you get mad and pout

You love to hate me
And I wish that feeling came so easily
Because I’m sick and tired of you
And all that you try to do

So farewell
I’ve got nothing to tell
So please just leave
I hope this is what you wanted to achieve

Okay, so this is a brief one... and all of my poems are kind of depressing, but here goes.

A deep emptiness swirls inside
There's nowhere there to hide

My tears will fall like rain
I tell myself not to feel the pain

Rain, rain, please stay
Don't wait for another day
Come and wash my sorrows away

Xandra ~just a breeze underneath your wings~ wrote: "Okay, so this is a brief one... and all of my poems are kind of depressing, but here goes.

A deep emptiness swirls inside
There's nowhere there to hide

My tears will fall like rain
I tell myself..."

Oh, I really like this one! It packs a huge punch. As for the poem beofre it, it's nice too, but the rhyming just seems a little forced. It's great and catchy when used effectively, but when it's more forced, it is all that one can focus on and the whole poem begins to sound kind of corny. Trust me, I have to work on it a lot too, but you've got such beautiful thing to say - write - that you don't want anything to detract from that. As always, keep up the good work! :)

you are so good at poetry, you don't even know

Yeah, I know what you mean, Za-Za and I completely agree that the one before the most recent one was probably the one I had to force the most...

I'm glad you both like the new one though :)

I've written a LOT of poetry recently... So much that it will take me forever if I'm going to share it here