Support for Indie Authors discussion

Hey fellow Indie authors, let's have some "get to know you" fun. In this variation we quote our characters from our various stories. So put your best character hat on and quote em! I'll start:

"Hello, I am Abnur. I will be killing you today." -Abnur, the friendly assassin. Chessmen: Opening Moves

"...what we saw in that tent...that’s why I became a demonhunter, Erik. That kind of pain is something I can identify with, something that no one should ever feel. And we have to make the ones responsible pay for it; that’s why I do what I do. I’ve walked across a good bit of this world, and everywhere I can see the hurt and pain the demons cause written on the faces of nearly every person I pass. If we didn’t stand up and do something about it, that would make us weak." -- Karian Vanador, Salvation's Dawn

Yeah, I understand that. It's like my Uncle Jack always said, "What's legal isn't always right. What's right, isn't always legal."

Amy Lynn by Jack July

"The other problem is that emotion drives intent. You make something with the intent to fight, and you're angry while you're making it, that's going to be an influence. It's going to be part of your golem whether you want it to or not. So it could end up angry, but not angry for the same reasons you're angry. It might turn, but it might also run away, hating you for making it hate. You can't say for sure with a golem once it gets a mind of its own." ~ Ren, The Toymaker

"We're all monsters deep inside, Lily. It's just a matter of how fast and how often it comes to the surface."

Brynna Alexander, vampire/author

"Did you seriously just use the word 'loins'?"

-Jill Andersen, Bounty

"I guess great uncle Howie was right: There ain’t nothin’ broke that free booze can’t fix."
-Bogie, Past Life Strife

D.J. wrote: ""Hello, I am Abnur. I will be killing you today." -Abnur, the friendly assassin. "

Hello, I'm Dwayne. I won't be dying for you today. - Dwayne, the unwilling victim

Great topic idea, D.J.!

Christina wrote: ""I guess great uncle Howie was right: There ain’t nothin’ broke that free booze can’t fix."
-Bogie, Past Life Strife"

I knew a few people like this at one time.

“Now, you tell me a story. You never tell me stories. I sit here most every night just to entertain you and you never return the favor.”

-- Old Pops
Old Pops' Last Beer

"I've been looking forward to meeting you. Everyone talks about you and I've never met a putz before."

Larry Xenomorph
Conversations with Larry Xenomorph

"I'd use your power but it would make me ugly!" -Major Xeroh in Chessmen: Opening Moves

The following are from Evolution of Angels


"It’s truly an age of decadence out there. Everywhere you go there is wonderful filthy-sex, murderous tyrants and false prophets. You know...your kind of people.” - Oreios (Evolution of Angels)

“I don't like reading minds when I don't have to. It gives me the illusion that I'm normal.” - Lian (Evolution of Angels)


"Leaders do things that are unpopular with their people, but these things are done for their protection. Sometimes, we have to be willing to breach the ethical lines in order to preserve those lines in the first place." - Sanderson (Evolution of Angels)

“Anyone who has to say ‘please’ is in no position to grant anything.” - Oreios (Evolution of Angels)

"Kill! Blood, guts, terror, horror, kill, murder, murder, Tupperware, murder, guts, guts, guts! Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill!"

-- Chainsaw Maniac
Th1rt3en Skeletons

“They’ve already won. That’s probably why most of the others only lasted a week. They didn’t refuse to see the truth. They just refused to live in fear of some doctor with a god complex. And for what? Whether we live or die, we’re nothing more than statistical data in some awful experiment."
-Renee Ward, Kind of Like Life

And for some levity, from the same character:

“Oh my goodness,” she breathed in awe. “Blake, I think I found your brain."

"MAH SWAHMP!" -The Gator from Tale of the Gator in GZ Tales

D.J. wrote: ""MAH SWAHMP!" -The Gator from Tale of the Gator in GZ Tales"

For some reason this made me laugh way harder than it probably should have. :)

"Screwing her would be a real blast. She wouldn’t dare come when she could preplan her arrival."

Peter Kurloff
Sexual Evolution

“I want to go home. To my Chamber. I was told that I would spend the rest of my life in it.”

Adam, Book 2 of The Goddess of Decay

Cmar had gone silent, whether in shock or to let an inferior officer hang himself with his own rant, but he now bore an expression of silent, grudging patience.
Guideran continued. “You tell that old power-drunk asshole that if he does any harm to my son, I'll track him down and kick his ass up and down every street of whatever world he's living on.” To Summon The Blackbird

Christina wrote: “Oh my goodness,” she breathed in awe. “Blake, I think I found your brain."

That needs to be on a T-shirt.

D.J. wrote: ""MAH SWAHMP!" -The Gator from Tale of the Gator in GZ Tales"

I love this one!

Self-pity is so much easier than wasting it on other people.

Percy Eimhardt
Sexual Evolution

... I write nonfiction :(

‘I don't care what this is about, or why you think you've a private war against Space Fleet, but if you ever, ever again think of doing something like that to a woman, and a woman's body, then to hell with Space Fleet's rules of engagement, I shall personally neuter you with a chainsaw.’

Or later on.

‘Arthur! You seem to forget that you'd strapped me to a chair and were hovering over me with a spray injector in your hand ready to kill me. Under those circumstances it's generally accepted that a girl can tell a few white lies.’

And then.

‘Your fleshmine killed Alan Cook—the only man who ever cared enough about me to propose marriage. I could hate you. I should hate you. But I don't want to die hating.’ She took a deep breath, gagging on the foul air. ‘I'm not going to give in to hatred, not now.’


There are lots more from the same source: Jane - Turn to the Stars

“Okay you’ve stumped me. How do you register Vampire Slayer with the IRS?”
-Lucy Soriano, The Eyes of The Sun

Christina wrote: "“Okay you’ve stumped me. How do you register Vampire Slayer with the IRS?”
-Lucy Soriano, The Eyes of The Sun"

Not to go off on a tangent, but technically you can put anything under "occupation" on a tax return and there's really nothing they can do about it.

Speaking as a person who once worked at the IRS, nobody even reads it. Unless you're audited. Maybe not even then.

Sweet! So puppy wrangler is a real job!!! Now, how do I get paid for this..?

Christina wrote: "Sweet! So puppy wrangler is a real job!!! Now, how do I get paid for this..?"

What?! You mean you give those highly valuable and easily saleable puppies back?

Nah, I ride around the open range on my trusty steed (an afghan hound, really) and gather up all the wild puppies before they stampede into town and cause a ruckus. You wouldn't want a ruckus to happen, would you? So I take them down to puppy ranch and let them roam the north forty.

What???

Joe wrote: "Christina wrote: "“Okay you’ve stumped me. How do you register Vampire Slayer with the IRS?”
-Lucy Soriano, The Eyes of The Sun"

Not to go off on a tangent, but technically you can put anything un..."

In "Have Spacesuit, Will Travel" Kip's father is visited by a person from the IRS who asks him politely not to put his occupation down as "spy".

"Oh bollocks," Miranda spat. "And if you say one word about the damn Firstborn I swear I'm going to slap you. You aren't an ancient hero, I'm not your damned princess and you need to grow up and start to live in the real world."

Miranda Callistus, Spirit of the Sword: Pride and Fury

"Goodness no," Princess Romana said lightly. "A princess would never demean herself by engaging in close quarters combat with a brute like you." She smiled. "I have people to do that for me. Now!"

Princess Romana, Spirit of the Sword: Pride and Fury

Frances wrote: ""A princess would never demean herself by engaging in close quarters combat with a brute like you." She smiled. "I have people to do that for me. Now!""

Nice. lol

Christina wrote: "D.J. wrote: ""MAH SWAHMP!" -The Gator from Tale of the Gator in GZ Tales"

For some reason this made me laugh way harder than it probably should have. :)"

The event it occurs in is even funnier.

"Hickory dickory dock, two fools inside of a clock. But this rhyme is wrong, the clock is a bomb. Hickory dickory dock." -Mother Goose (villain) via recording to the heroes in the short story London Fables. (coming soon)

“Wait a minute! First you imply that aliens exist and are coming to Earth. Now you say vampires and werewolves also exist? One earth-shattering revelation a day, please!” - Special Agent Artemis Xian, "Upon A Far Distant Shore"

"I don't think we're supposed to understand death. It just happens." --Xia, Grim Crush

"It doesn't matter how much you can bench press to a man with a gun." - Raymond, Timberlands: blood and Prey

“If light kept God happy for a day, then why should I want anything more myself?” - Lt. Jace Modeen, USS Krakowski

"Everyone has a dark side. Some are darker than others."
- Georges Severin, immortal, Under the Dark of the Moon Book Two: On the Turn of the Day

J.D. wrote: ""Did you seriously just use the word 'loins'?"

-Jill Andersen, Bounty"

That actually literally made me laugh out loud.

"Trolls," she said.
"How many?" Skyclad asked.
Her face was streaked with tears. "All of them," she whispered.

"Power is a deviant servant. It begs to be abused. And for one who is not wary, it will consume its master as swiftly as the breath of a dragon."

The wizard Skile from The Legacy of Skur Volume One

"They don't call me 'The Bitch in the Basement' for nothing."

- Fleur Trixmin, Ghosts of Innocence

“Bitter words from an angry heart.”
“Then come, Judas. Taste my blade and savor the rancidness of my soul!”

-Dizz,Order

“You are dead and Hibret mourns you,” he declared in a penetratingly deep tone. “Loss is death. Never relax your guard; not even with me.”
-Symeon Yego-from The Rise of Nazil Series
Aaron-Michael Hall

“I promise you sir, I’m not drunk. If I were, I’d be handling this a lot better.”

-Diamond, Order

(After witnessing a particularly brutal interrogation...)

“This was necessary, Lily,” Scott said.

She stopped and looked back at them. “I know. That’s what’s bothering me. Am I the only one who remembers we’re supposed to be the good guys?”

Scott Madigan & Lily McConnell, immortals, from Under the Dark of the Moon

On being asked by an Australian reporter if he was a foreigner: "Good God, no, madam. I am an Englishman!"

- Lieutenant Christopher 'Kit' Blaney of the frigate, HMS Marlin in TimeStorm

“Animals aren’t stupid and I can absolutely face you as a man. I’m just not interested in a long drawn out fight with you. Feeling a little weird? That’s because I can be more than just any animal. I can be any combination of animals at any strength I desire. That wasn’t hornet venom I just hit you with. It was a weakened variation of blowfish toxin. You’re going to feel really sick for a couple of days. Oh, and by the way…” He let go of Barracuda’s fist and let the man drop to the ground. “You’re under arrest.”

Dolphin Man from The Fight in the Dog (coming soon)