Support for Indie Authors discussion

Sounds good, but is it a religious-themed sci-fi? Some readers avoid something what they think will preach at them. It does sound interesting though and the blurb is tight. If you can convey more of her angst it might be better,

Bernard Paul wrote: "Sounds good, but is it a religious-themed sci-fi? Some readers avoid something what they think will preach at them..."

I suppose it could be said that some readers want to be preached at, too. This is a place for constructive criticism on the blurbs themselves, not a place to find potential fault in the work of the author. Remember, no matter what we write, there will be someone that doesn't care for it. We aren't here to discourage one another from writing certain types of stories.

Dwayne wrote: "This is a place for constructive criticism on the blurbs themselves, not a place to find potential fault in the work of the author. Remember, no matter what we write, there will be someone that doesn't care for it. We aren't here to discourage one another from writing certain types of stories. "

I thought Bernard's post was constructive. He points out a perception that is real and could divide the reader audience. Nothing said appeared destructive to me and I'm pro-Christian. If Michael intends to write to faith based readers, he hit the mark. If he intended a broader market, Bernard's post identifies a perception that might help him accomplish that.

It sounds like a great story line to me.

I sense that something is lost in the description, I think I found whats missing: I can't connect with the protagonist.

Giving a statement that the protagonist came from a wealthy family kinda stopped me from wanting to read the next part, or her "chance encounter with a mysterious foreigner plants the seeds of redemption, and leads her on a path to discover God, to discover what it means to love and to forgive, and ultimately, to discover who she really is."

You can add a description why she can't seem to get her life in order.

I feel that this one is better. But remember that you are the writer, I don't know your story and if you feel that it is important to note that the character is from a powerful family, pls mention it.

I, on the other hand, am very concerned about how word choice will affect my readers. For instance, in the description of Genesis, I chose the term 'good and evil' instead of 'right and wrong', which are basically two same terms. I wanted to use 'right and wrong' because it definitely will ignite more controversies than 'good and evil', but I chose to use the latter because I was afraid of the social influence that can come from reading my book, and although there is no adult material at all in the book, I could risk getting my book banned.

Michael wrote: "Andreas wrote: "I feel that this one is better. But remember that you are the writer, I don't know your story and if you feel that it is important to note that the character is from a powerful fami..."

It's a risky business.
But I'm considering it.
Oh man, things are gonna get ugly.

What about the description of Edge of God? I think its good. Any opinion from others?

I think the blurb was tight, informative, and intriguing. I know who she is, where she is, the struggle,and possible resolve. Enough to make someone want to find out more

Michael wrote: "LOL! there's nothing wrong with a little self-promotion. Judge not lest ye be judged, right?"

No, but there is a proper place to do it and that's all I was doing was trying to point that out. I'm not "judging" anyone.

It's quite simple, guys. If you are promoting a blog, there is a place to do so where you will draw more attention and more traffic. I am merely trying to help keep things organized in the group. Not sure where all the accusations of judging and evil are coming from...

Michael wrote: "dwayne - I was referring to myself. This whole post was as much about promoting Edge of God as it was about tweaking thr blurb =)

but so far nobody has marked it as 'want to read.'..."

It takes time to build an interest and an audience. Personally, I don't put a lot of stock in the "want to read" anyway. Often times the people that mark a book as such do not come back and read it.

Michael wrote: "dwayne - I was referring to myself. This whole post was as much about promoting Edge of God as it was about tweaking thr blurb =)

but so far nobody has marked it as 'want to read.'..."

I think you didnt mentioned the link before this, so some might have thought that it hadnt been on goodreads (not many check th title of the thread :p).

For me, i never put books on my to read list, Mike, I just read them. And I agree with Dwayne, I seriously dont pay very much attention to the number of people who put our books on their to read lists... Seriously, one can argue that it means nothing. I look at the number of people who actually read it. So you should do some promotions (free stuff, etc), have you joined our groups book blast for halloween?

Andreas wrote: "So you should do some promotions (free stuff, etc), have you joined our groups book blast for halloween? "

Actually, that is closed to new submissions, so if one hasn't joined, it's too late. But, there will be more Book Blasts in the future!

Dwayne wrote: "Andreas wrote: "So you should do some promotions (free stuff, etc), have you joined our groups book blast for halloween? "

Actually, that is closed to new submissions, so if one hasn't joined, it'..."

I missed something; is there a book blast group (I can join for next time) please?

T.L. wrote: "I missed something; is there a book blast group (I can join for next time) please? "

Just keep an eye on the Group Promo folder. I am not sure when the next one will be (after Halloween), but I would think within the next couple of months.

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/group...

I would vote for the longer version.

The benefit of providing a shorter description is to make the most of human's primary drive, which is neither sex nor survival, it is curiosity (everyone can object to this but I can explain to you as to why sin is inexorable).

But you are running a risk of people not caring for the two events that are written down in the blurb, e.g.: perhaps people who never experience any trouble in their life. People might care for the other things in your book, so not writing down these other things isn't a very good strategy.

"Kozi Iyemo can't seem to get her life in order. She starts over by moving to a different planet hundreds of light-years away, only to discover that there’s no escape from the source of her problems: herself.
Broken, disillusioned, and on the brink of total collapse, a chance encounter with a mysterious foreigner plants the seeds of redemption, and leads her on a path to discover what it means to love and to forgive, and ultimately, to discover who she really is."

THIS^^^^ and I'll tell you why. A blurb needs to get to the point and this definitely does. Your wording does a good job of showing that this has sci fi elements and spiritual religious elements. It also needs to give a view of what's going on in the story as your hook. I think, of all the variations you've tried, this is the best at doing that.

ON the subject of dividing your readership, I say it all depends on who your target audience is. No book appeals to EVERYONE. It just so happens that religious readers exist and want to see more stories with that element to them. I see a strong appeal for a specific audience, not a split for an unknown audience. Well, anyway, you have my vote on the subject. I would lose the whole (best seller on three worlds) thing. It takes away from the story in kind of a silly way. I don't think you should mix humor like that into a serious blurb like this. Best of luck!