Support for Indie Authors discussion

Tyler wrote: "Agreed, but the best validation is when you go back over your manuscript the tenth time, looking for textual errors, and get lost in the storyline. That tells me I've written something good. "

That or sometimes even after something is published I will read it again months later and fall in love with it again.

Joe wrote: "When I released my book, I asked all of my friends on Facebook to share it with their friends, because between all of my friends, they had about 12,000 friends-of-friends. I figured I'd at least hi..."

I've given myself a headache over the same things you talk about. My ego is about the size of a pea, but I get this nagging feeling our friends and family may be a little jealous or intimidated. It doesn't seem plausible, I know, but how many of them ever followed their dreams to a realistic conclusion? How many of them ever exposed themselves to the sort of criticism we have? Are their egos bigger than ours, and maybe they fear we may get the attention that is rightfully theirs? let's face it, if we're suddenly attending a party with Stephen King, that new pair of shoes they bought suddenly pales in comparison. It's worth considering, if only for a second.

I am so glad this thread is here. Like many of you, I thought I was the only one with this issue!!

You would think our friends and family would just say, "Congrats! Good luck with it!"

Maybe they think if they responded at all we would come back with, "So when are you going to buy it?"

I think everyone should 'friend' JD's grandma.

Seriously, JD if she is not on social media she should be!

ML Roberts wrote: "I think everyone should 'friend' JD's grandma.

Seriously, JD if she is not on social media she should be!"

Perhaps, JD would consider a grandma leasing arrangement. :)

There are so many of you who says so many fabulous things. I wish there were a like-button, so I could like them all. :-)

For me, I love working in solitude. That's what I've longed for my entire life. It makes me happy.

I think Christina nails it. It's the total silencing that makes me so sad, not that they're not interested in reading my books. It's the total silencing that make me feel almost bullied. And just as a side note, no, I don't try to use my private FB-account as a 'come, buy my books-account'. As Christina says, people put up things about their work all the time and gets comments and likes and what-not without anyone thinking that the person in question has a hidden agenda to get new clients to his/her area of work. Why would it be different for us?

I think Joe is on it too, with the comment that people are afraid that they won't like what you're reading and that they don't want to hurt your feelings, without thinking about the signals they're sending out instead.

B.B. wrote: "Are you trying to pimp this gentleman's grandmother?

The correct word is 'agent', not 'pimp'.

The difference between an agent and a pimp is...uh...er... Hold on a minute. I'll figure this out. :)

A.E. wrote: "I think Joe is on it too, with the comment that people are afraid that they won't like what you're reading and that they don't want to hurt your feelings, without thinking about the signals they're sending out instead."

I had an odd experience not too long ago where someone asked me "So what do you do?" My reply was "I'm an author." To which they did that half nod thing and said, "Ah! I don't read." Super awkward! I just smiled and moved on,but I reeeeeally wanted to ask what they did and reply that I don't do whatever their thing was. Like: Them: "I'm a banker!"
Me: "Fascinating! I'm a huge fan of barter based economics."

;p

At least they were honest and it wasn't the usual followup of, "No, I meant what do you do for a living?"

At least we have each other and the kindness of strangers, right? :)

Christina wrote: "At least they were honest and it wasn't the usual followup of, "No, I meant what do you do for a living?"

You mean... this not just a... hobby?

Christina wrote: "At least we have each other and the kindness of strangers, right? :)"

STELLA!!!

Jay wrote: "The correct word is 'agent', not 'pimp'.

The difference between an agent and a pimp is...uh...er... Hold on a minute. I'll figure this out. :) "

*sigh* They're the same thing except the hat. Pimps are the ones with the cool hats.

Dwayne wrote: "STELLA!!!"

Yay lit nerds and theater geeks!!! :)

You haven't hit rock bottom with family and friends until one of them says you "wasted your time writing a book."

Thanks for the support!

Why do I suspect that the person that said that never finished High School?

B.B. wrote: "Dwayne is wearing his pimp hat in his photo"

That's not the agent hat? He told me I was going on a super secret mission! I TRUSTED YOU!!!
O_O

Joe wrote: "You haven't hit rock bottom with family and friends until one of them says you "wasted your time writing a book."

I once dated a girl who told me "reading was a waste of time", which was a tremendous help, for I then knew immediately that she was a waste of my time.

Jay wrote: "I once dated a girl who told me "reading was a waste of time", which was a tremendous help, for I then knew immediately that she was a waste of my time..."

Which reminds me of some MX-80 Sound lyrics.

In the context above it could be kind of a pick up line...

Her: "Reading is a waste of time"
Him: "Yeah? Well, [lyrics] I wanna read you, baby, from cover to cover. The introduction and all of of your chapters."
Her: [slaps him in the face]

B.B. wrote: "Dwayne is wearing his pimp hat in his photo"

Nuh uh. That one's my yodelin' hat.

Joe wrote: "You haven't hit rock bottom with family and friends until one of them says you "wasted your time writing a book."

Ooo... ouch. Well, the best way to get even is name your first yacht "WASTE OF TIME".

Charles wrote: "Why do I suspect that the person that said that never finished High School?"

Just one of those things said in anger that can never be taken back.

Christina wrote: "That's not the agent hat? He told me I was going on a super secret mission! "

And here you are, broadcasting it to everyone. Sheesh.

Tyler wrote: "April wrote: "Keep in mind that being a writer is a lonely endeavor. Also, I think it's fair to say that most writers have a deep-seated need for validation. We need others to confirm that we are i..."

I'm with you, Tyler. Recently, I dug out a manuscript of a novel that I wrote 20+ years ago and began to read it. I couldn't remember the plot, but I'm drawn into it as if it's someone else's book. I'm sitting there reading it and laughing. Twenty years later and I crack myself up. It's great.

I still think everyone should axe their FB accounts as I have - that way you'll also dodge all the slackivism, vague-booking, 'discussions' and selfies/food pics :D

Ashley wrote: "I still think everyone should axe their FB accounts as I have - that way you'll also dodge all the slackivism, vague-booking, 'discussions' and selfies/food pics :D"

Seconded. It's kind of freeing. I get plenty of guilt, but I think my blood pressure is lower. Now, if only there was a way to filter out the politics on Twitter. ;)

Christina wrote: "Now, if only there was a way to filter out the politics on Twitter. ;)

It's called an OFF button. :]

Eh, I already have most people on mute. I try to be supportive of authors though and sorry, but some of y'all are opinionated! ;)

Anyone know if there is a way to cancel a personal profile and still be able to post to a community as your page? I don't understand why communities are considered people but an individual's page is not a person.

Not that I know of. I have a nonperson status on Facebook and can't reall do much of anything in the way of interacting like a human being.

My brother tells me my "hobby" (publishing novels and games) was a waste of time because im not rolling in millions. -_- i keep forging ahead because if asminov can crank out 10 books writing in a simple direct style in the same genre over almost 50 years (stretching i know but bro dont read books to correct me) then i still have a chance. he might have pumped out 500 in his lifetime but im not that dude. i only have 80 to contend with...

Everything is a waste of time in the end.

lolz true but are you having fun doing it though? ;)

That's all that matters. :D

*lol* Oh, Charles... Trying to be deep? ;-) Kisses to you to make you cheer up a bit. <3

I'm just putting things into perspective. ;)

Christina wrote: "Seconded. It's kind of freeing. I get plenty of guilt, but I think my blood pressure is lower. Now, if only there was a way to filter out the politics on Twitter. ;)"

Very freeing (and so far, even after a few months I've had no guilt, just bliss - so I'm awfully keen for things to stay that way if possible!)

Or on the entire internet, huh? :D

You lot are making me laugh. :-)

Did we all see the Twitter thing a couple of months ago? Tbere was a hashtag thing that went mega viral about what not to say to an author. It seems there's thousands of authors out there fed up with the same idiotic responses.

It prompted a blog post from me; 'is writing a real job?'. Putting it here in case you want a giggle...
http://tlclarkauthor.blogspot.co.uk/2...

I don't know what it is, but so many people dismiss our author lives. THey think it must be a complete doss and get jealous.

Weird as I have a full time day job, step mum duties, a holistic therapies business AND I write. Yeah, real easy life!?

Hey ho.

We all have each other xx

Group hug!!

T.L. wrote: "You lot are making me laugh. :-)

Did we all see the Twitter thing a couple of months ago? Tbere was a hashtag thing that went mega viral about what not to say to an author. It seems there's thousa..."

Yes! Great blog post and yes, I do remember that tag. It was both hilarious and heart breaking.

KC wrote: "Tyler wrote: "April wrote: "Keep in mind that being a writer is a lonely endeavor. Also, I think it's fair to say that most writers have a deep-seated need for validation. We need others to confirm..."

I've pulled out old manuscripts and read them as well. I'm sometimes shocked at the things I wrote and think to myself "did I write that?"

K.P. wrote: "My brother tells me my "hobby" (publishing novels and games) was a waste of time because im not rolling in millions..."

By that measure Vincent van Gogh was wasting his time painting (only sold one painting during his whole life); Herman Melville was wasting his time writing Moby Dick (the book flopped so bad it started his decline into obscurity and only became recognized as a classic book in the early 20th century when authors and critics like D.H. Lawrence started to take notice of it); even Johann Sebastian Bach was wasting his time composing music, for in his own time he wasn't known as a composer but as an organist. Franz Kafka, El Greco, Henry David Thoreau, Johannes Vermeer, Edgar Allan Poe, Paul Gauguin, John Keats...all have similar stories: struggled in life, hailed as geniuses after their death.

When your rate the worthiness of something solely on the merit of how well it sells during the lifetime of those who create it, all you really do is show how ignorant you are of true value.

Holly wrote: "KC wrote: "Tyler wrote: "April wrote: "Keep in mind that being a writer is a lonely endeavor. Also, I think it's fair to say that most writers have a deep-seated need for validation. We need others..."

I have the same reaction. I was a different person when I wrote them.

A.E. & comments
This has been on my mind for some time.

April wrote: "Keep in mind that being a writer is a lonely endeavor. Also, I think it's fair to say that most writers have a deep-seated need for validation. We need others to confirm that we are indeed writers...."

Tyler wrote: "Agreed, but the best validation is when you go back over your manuscript the tenth time, looking for textual errors, and get lost in the storyline. That tells me I've written something good."

Definitely!

Writing humor and comedy, it's easier to judge an old, forgotten manuscript. If I'm laughing, it worked.

I have a few ardent supporters in my group of family and friends. Then there are the rest; they are not interested and mentioning my writing is sure to result in one of those awkward silences.

I think that they imagine that I am trying to 'sell' it to them; that I think they really SHOULD buy it and they feel guilt or pressure.

I did initially expect a bigger/better response, but no more. Those that read and enjoy, good. Those that don't... good.

It's all good!

I had to write the book. I found my muse. I didn't write the book to sell to my friends and family. In the end it is only the independent reviews that I can trust.

How many other people got the "I can't read on a computer/tablet/phone, I'll read it when it's in paperback" excuse from people who then found new excuses once it was in paperback?

Hooray #excuses!

Joe wrote: "How many other people got the "I can't read on a computer/tablet/phone, I'll read it when it's in paperback" excuse from people who then found new excuses once it was in paperback?

Hooray #excuses!"

Yep. Heard that one too. I don't care if they don't read it. But a little fb share would be nice to offer support. I share their business stuff. But hey ho. Manage your expectations and you'll be far happier.

I've read all the comments on this and I just realized I wasn't the only one.

I have also had friends and family members that have said they would read my books Out of that bunch , only 2 have since I published my first book in 2013. So I understand the frustration.

I learned that you shouldn't expect anything from anyone. Just do you, like they say and you'll see it helps. Over time you will have fans and people that will really support you.

Every time that I get a review or someone that has read my book contacts me directly says that they really enjoyed it and want more, that's really motivating and it just makes me want to keep going. Of course I enjoy writing and that's why I really do it but who doesn't like for their work to be noticed?

B.B. wrote: "You can talk about everything they want to talk about, just don't mention your writing or art. That's when I discovered I needed new friends. It's a drain to be around people who intend to make me ..."

A very good philosophy, an even better way to live.

When I worked in a body shop building limos, our conversations were about family, friends, limos, body work, and painting. Reading a favorite book, never.

Those who love to read are thrilled to know someone who writes. Those who paint cars, they would prefer to discuss how light the sprayer needs to be set in order for metallic-flake to lay down upon a curved surface.

I am rather certain that if I were to open a threaded conversation about the intricacies of HTML5, CSS, database design, php, and java scripting here, most would be like: Uh...you sure you're in the right place?



This is not to say, 'everyone would respond in this fashion,' but most would. I would need to go to a web development site to find others who would share this same interest.



It is no different with family and friends. I no longer surround myself with those who work in the body shop industry. Do I still have friends from that era? Sure I do. But I never expect them to read just because I have changed careers. The new friends I now have, they all like to read. :)

Tony wrote: "I am rather certain that if I were to open a threaded conversation about the intricacies of HTML5, CSS, database design, php, and java scripting here, most would be like: Uh...you sure you're in the right place?..."

I'd say it sounds too much like my make-a-living work. ;D

Micah wrote: "Tony wrote: "I am rather certain that if I were to open a threaded conversation about the intricacies of HTML5, CSS, database design, php, and java scripting here, most would be like: Uh...you sure..."

Indeed :P

Anthony wrote: "I have a few ardent supporters in my group of family and friends. Then there are the rest; they are not interested..."

I've had no feedback from my relatives, but it seems to be the same. They do not mention it. For my part, if one of my relatives wrote something major, like a book or even an article, I'd rush to read it just out of curiosity.

B.B. wrote: "You can talk about everything they want to talk about, just don't mention your writing or art..."

Ha! You think those two are bad? Try talking about building DIY modular music synthesizers!

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