Support for Indie Authors discussion

I need some help with my blurb, if all you lovely people wouldn't mind.

This is what I have as of now:


Anna Pierce had, by all accounts, a blessed life. She grew up happy, in a family full of laughter, love, and support. Her best friend, Evan, was the most rad friend a girl could ask for. The biggest problem she faced, other than fending off her brother's sporadic tackling, was trying to decide her plans for college. Little did she know that, that choice would put her on a path to face something ugly.

Fast forward five years.

Her life is still full of love, crazy times, and laughter with her family and friends. No matter what Evan tells her, she's happy. At least she thought so. When she meets Jake Taylor, a man who makes her question things, makes her see things differently, she begins to realize that it's a lie, that Evan was right. There's a shadow over her life. It's takes Jake, her family, and friends to show Anna how to leave the shadow behind and let light shine back into her life.

And it all begins with a choice...


I'd appreciate any advice on how to make it better, thanks!

I would say "it all begins with a choice" needs to be the tagline not the end of the blurb because it's quite intriguing. Then I would say the blurb needs to be shorter with snappier sentences. We don't need to know the summary, just the main plot points. Something like this I guess:

Anna Pierce had a blessed life. Other than deciding her college plans, everything was perfect...or so she thought. Little did she know her life of love, hapiness and security would put her face to face with something ugly.
Jake Taylor makes her question things, makes her see them differently...makes her see the shadow hanging over her life. With the help of her family, friends and Jake, can she leave the shadow behind and make way for the light?

Hope this helps :)

I agree with Rebecca. One sentence logline. Synopsis no more than five sentences. If you keep that in mind, you can create a great synopsis every time. You have to hook the reader fast.

Rebecca wrote: "I would say "it all begins with a choice" needs to be the tagline not the end of the blurb because it's quite intriguing. Then I would say the blurb needs to be shorter with snappier sentences. We ..."

I loved this, thank you! It'll definitely help :)

Rebecca! Rebecca! Rebecca!