Our Shared Shelf discussion

I think we should be very mindful to make sure our feminism is intersectional. Someone in another thread made a valid point to make sure we include women of color in our recommendations/choices. I want to add that we should also try to include works by lesbian and transwomen authors, as well. We've been discussing Judith Butler on another thread and someone mentioned a film about a transwoman in another thread, and I think these are fantastic. I am looking forward to seeing the suggestions put in here so that I can expand my horizons even further.

Yes, all the yes! Within the 'Book Suggestions' thread, I just posted a list of books by authors from a variety of backgrounds and perspectives, as I agree that it is imperative that the intersectional nature of feminism is present within this book club. I'll be sure to post within this thread other works by lesbians, bisexual women, and trans women authors that I come across.

Kori wrote: "Yes, all the yes! Within the 'Book Suggestions' thread, I just posted a list of books by authors from a variety of backgrounds and perspectives, as I agree that it is imperative that the intersecti..."

You are right, I didn't mention bisexual women and bi-erasure is a huge problem. I'm a bit chagrined that I contributed to it. Sorry!

Erin wrote: "Kori wrote: "Yes, all the yes! Within the 'Book Suggestions' thread, I just posted a list of books by authors from a variety of backgrounds and perspectives, as I agree that it is imperative that t..."

No worries! I almost forgot to include them when I replied; I unfortunately participate in bi-erasure more often than I would care to admit, I get frustrated with myself as well!

The important thing is that we recognize it when it happens and try to do better. I mean, that's all anyone can do.

I'm all for this. I find it easier to connect with lesbian characters and would be thrilled to expand my library in this way

Erin wrote: "The important thing is that we recognize it when it happens and try to do better. I mean, that's all anyone can do."

Very true.

Simon V. The Homosapians Agenda is a terrific LGBT book for this group to read.

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley would be great too. It's a YA historical fiction taking place in the civil rights era, where basically a black girl who is a student at a school that is newly integrated and the white daughter of one of the biggest segregationists fall in love. Race issues and LGBT stuff covered in one book.

It has to do with it because when it comes to feminist spaces, white, heterosexual, cisgendered women tend to hog all the floor space. Women of color and LGBT women are marginalized within feminism and they deserve to have a space. Personally, as a white, heterosexual, and cisgendered woman, I don't feel it's enough to simply "allow" marginalized women to have a voice. I will actively encourage it.

AUDRE LORDE!

that's all i have to say :D

Yes! Scars by Cheryl Rainfield is so worth checking out!!

As a lesbian I am down for this! I think we should pick women of all different kinds of backgrounds, races, time periods and places. It should be a blast!

Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta is a really good book about a young Nigerian girl who falls in love with another young girl during the Nigerian Civil War. Discussion and exploration of cultural, sexual, and religious identity are explored really well.

Another good one that I many years ago was Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson, which is narrated by a protagonist whose gender and sex are never specified. This could be a good one to discuss problems of the gender binary and ways to contribute to the expansion of understanding and respecting the ways people express and define themselves.

Also, came across this list a few minutes ago.

http://www.autostraddle.com/15-queer-...

Hi, yay someone else thought of this, as it is the other thing which I am really interested in as a transgender female, I would love to find more lgbt books to connect with, the film mentioned would be The Danish girl which is based on a book about the first transgender woman to receive reassignment surgery.

To be one hundred percent honest, I have, or rather, I had, not idea what "inter-sectional feminism" was before I joined this group. Just think, in less than forty eight hours, I have gained so much more insight this topic! A topic which really should be taught to young men and woman while they are still in school, though that is just my opinion.

I believe that reason that I did not know about inter-sectional feminism is because I just believe everyone should be a supporter of equal rights. We all breath the same air, are warmed by the same sun, and have our sleep minded over by the moon. I never really considered that feminism should be inter-sectional because this is something everyone needs to be apart of, and by everyone joining, we all become one, with our different things to add and learn.

Therefore, taking initiative to remedy my lack of understanding, decided to look up the definition of inter-sectional feminism. It means, "The view that women experience oppression in varying configurations and in varying degrees of intensity." I found this definition in a news article, which can be found by following this link. Having read it some way through before finishing this post, I understood why I never knew of inter-sectional feminism. It is because I already knew that different woman, and men, were oppressed in different ways because of their age, gender, heritage, sexuality, and ideals. I am surprised there even needs to be a unique term for it, because I always thought that everyone understood that every person's case of discrimination and oppression was different.

Learning that people need to be educated on inter-sectional feminism was shocking to me, and it makes me realize just how far we have come, but also, just how far we are yet to go in making the world understand that inter-sectional feminism is a real issue, and that even the name is an issue itself. People, of course feminism does not just apply to "white, middle class, cis-gendered and able bodied" citizens around us. It applies to everybody.

Well i leave in Greece and i think that people here aren't that opened minded and i hate it. Many countries have now allowed to gay couples to get married and that's wonderful but all we got here is some form of contract that gay couples can sign. But that contract doesn't give them many privelenge. I think it's really unfair. Also the church is treating them like they are peassants!

I am pansexual, and I am currently reading a very interesting book that just came out last year, called "Becoming Nicole," about two identical twins, both assigned the gender of male at birth, but one of the two, I believe Wyatt, shows from a very early age, that he is in-fact transgender, and she becomes Nicole through gender reassignment surgery and hormones, and the affect this has on the entire family. I suggest it to anyone (although I am not very far into the book).

I agree with all of you!! I am a heterosexual but i believe that everybody has the same rights. I follow some trans-gay-bisexual people. I would really want to read some book about these and learn more! Can you suggest some books about this, you like?

Books of Cat wrote: "I agree with all of you!! I am a heterosexual but i believe that everybody has the same rights. I follow some trans-gay-bisexual people. I would really want to read some book about these and learn ..."

I would look into the works of satirist David Sedaris, especially "Naked." Get some information on Edie Windsor, there's plenty out there about her. There's plenty on Harvey Milk and the Stonewall Riots. Read up on the Gay Holocaust and, specifically, 1930s Germany, and how it mirrors today's progress (and why we need to be careful with who we elect from here on in). Look up "The Gay Revolution: The Story of the Struggle" by Lillian Faderman. It's on my to-read list. "Transgender 101" is a wonderful text that will introduce terms like cisgender, top and bottom surgery and what it entails, and a myriad of other topics related to transitioning. The history of AIDS, and how the 21st century medical breakthroughs have led to more promiscuous behavior which threatens to re-establish the epidemic. Look up the Episcopal Church, specifically, the election of 2 gay Bishops, and a blessing ceremony for gay couples, they have had since 2009. There's a good HBO movie called "Normal," about a transition for a midwest factory worker, played wonderfully by Tom Wilkinson. Look for those at the corner of homosexuality and faith, like Matthew Vines, on Youtube. Look up Jazz, a precocious girl, if there ever was one, and her story is also on Youtube. Look up statistics on homeless youth and sex workers, something that is happening because of families throwing kids out of the house for being gay or transgender, or the threat of being rejected by their families.

I like a few pages on Facebook, too. Advocate Magazine and its Trans counter-part. Gay Star News. The Blade (which is a Washington, DC publication), Just a few of the pages you can find. Get involved in local organizations, just google them, by giving money or time to those facing transitions and telling their families.

I hope that can get you started.

Erin wrote: "Personally, as a white, heterosexual, and cisgendered woman, I don't feel it's enough to simply "allow" marginalized women to have a voice. I will actively encourage it."

^Exactly, this!

I am a cisgendered woman in a long-term heterosexual "flexible" relationship. I choose not to identify my sexuality. I find myself attracted to others regardless of gender, but only really figured this out for myself after having entered into a many-years-long (and very happy!) relationship. Luckily, my partner and I are both entirely supportive of each other and basically understand these things in all the same ways, so I therefore term our relationship flexible referring both to sexuality and monogamy.

I do not identify as bisexual because it feels disingenuous to my experience as someone who is in a long-term heterosexual relationship. I recognize my own privilege as a result of these circumstances, and therefore identifying as a member of the LGBT community doesn't feel appropriate (not that those who identify as bisexual but are in het-relationships should feel that way—all the power to you!).

Because of all this, and for many other reasons as well, the goals I envision for the feminist movement include the destruction of sexual and gender binaries. A more fluid understanding of gender and sexuality would go a long way in eradicating gender discrimination.

Speaking of biphobia and bi-erasure, a quick sidenote:
ending up with one gender or having a long-term relationship with one gender doesn't mean you aren't or can't be bisexual (/pansexual). This only fuels the notion that bisexuals are unable to be faithful and stuff like that.
Of course you can identify as whatever you like and use whatever label you prefer, I just wanted to put that out there.

This may not quite fit here, but it won't fit anywhere else. Regarding sexuality, what I really dislike in society is how people deem men and/or woman to me "frigid" is they are not throwing themselves at other people in the hopes of forming a relationship. It is as though people expect me, as a woman, to be trying to get a guy every other day, and by defying that assumption, I have been labelled "frigid", "weird", and many other names which I have either forgotten over time or do not wish to mention here. I will say this though--one person has called me a "dyke" for not wanting to kiss a guy. Despite the fact that I do not ever intend to cave to peer pressure, I have a two other, legitimate reasons for not wanting to engage in that sort of thing. Firstly, just because I'm female, that does not mean I want to date. This can apply to a male point of view as well. But secondly, I am a demisexual, therefore it makes it hard for me to experience feelings of desire and love that is not platonic or just between friends! It is borderine asexual, but people do not see believe in it. They feel the need to invalidate my sexuality, just as much as they do to bisexuals and pansexuals and anyone else who is not strictly "straight". I just love this topic so much because it is so informative, and I finally got to get this off my chest.

Savannah- I'm sorry you have people who try to invalidate your sexuality. I don't know how to support you with that, but let me know if there are things I can do and I will do my best.

Because really, that's what feminism should ultimately look like. I don't expect every single person on the planet to know exactly how to support me with the issues I have to deal with. I just want people to be willing to ask and then to do the things that I suggest. I know I don't have all the answers when it comes to the experiences I don't personally have. I am willing to listen and to do what people suggest to me, though, so if anyone feels like they need extra support in their daily lives (I mean, it's the internet, but it's better than no support at all), I am willing to be that person for you. I might not know how to be that person for you, but I am willing to learn.

Eden wrote: "Speaking of biphobia and bi-erasure, a quick sidenote:
ending up with one gender or having a long-term relationship with one gender doesn't mean you aren't or can't be bisexual (/pansexual). This ..."

Yeah absolutely. And my choice not to identify has less to do with the fact of my relationship and more to do with my beliefs about the binary and my own concern about co-opting the LGBT umbrella label given the privileges afforded to me from the circumstances of my life.

Savannah, I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I read an article by someone discussing demisexuality and the comments section was rife with LGBT-identifying folks criticizing her, accusing her identification as a bid for attention, or a desire to be "special." It really is a shame. Demisexuality is something I can relate to for sure, and I think it's extremely valid. I think there is some anxiety in the community about "sexualities" that don't refer to a description of what type of person one is attracted to. But I think there needs to be room for people who feel strongly about the ways that they experience sexuality.

More LGBT authors sounds great :)

@ Katelyn: Non-binary is a label that has to do with gender and not sexual orientation so if you did label yourself that way you would be saying that you don't identify as either (fully) male or (fully) female. So unless that's what you're trying to say, I'd think of another way to describe yourself :)

My twin sister is bisexual and it would be really great to introduce some Lgbt writers and I specially think bi-sexuals are targeted and shunned even in the gay community so in a way they really have to put up with harassment from both the Lgbt community and the non Lgbt community. But anyways I think its great the world isbecoming more fair and it will be great to read some of the fore-mentioned books from the comments

@Erin, Kodak, Katelyn -- Thank you, ladies, so much! I really appreciate it. <3 I will definitely talk to you if I ever need to, though hopefully, since I surround myself with people I trust now, it shouldn't happen again.

@Ailbhe -- One of my three best friends is bisexual, and she has told me many times that people have asked her, "Well, why can't you just pick one?" She should not have to pick. It is just so offensive, even to me, to hear that people treat her like that because of her sexuality.

I am really hoping that feminists will be able to remove using gender and sexuality as insults in the near future.

For reals. I am a cis, straight girl but I clearly remember the first time I heard discriminatory comments against bisexuals. The most shocking thing is, they came from my friends. Shocking, not because they're my friends and so they should be lovely folks, no. Shocking because they are otherwise perfectly modern, open-minded, educated and loving people. Yet there they were, happily repeating the same old story about bisexuals being vicious, unstable people, and I was shocked.

Unfortunately, later on I realised that they were not a minority. Also, a good friend of mine was described as a 'freaky amoeba', an odd asexual being,...why? Oh, yeah, because he did not have a girlfriend and had not get laid, as you should.

It's just sad. I don't know. I know that I don't need to be LGBT, or any other minority, for that matter, to try and show some tact and understanding towards others.

Angela wrote: "Well i leave in Greece and i think that people here aren't that opened minded and i hate it. Many countries have now allowed to gay couples to get married and that's wonderful but all we got here i..."
@Angela
In Greece, it is my opinion that the government enforced closed-mindedness on many levels. I'd be afraid to raise a child who is required to go to a public school in Greece if the child was allergic to a non-vegan diet. Most schools, institutions, restaurants and so on world wide, do not know how to serve a balanced Vegan meal. Adding food allergies to that mix makes it even harder.

I blatantly refuse to give birth to a child and live in Greece because of their anti-vegan laws concerning students who go to school (the law that required all schools to serve meat to all students). I wonder if that law is still on the books? By the same token, I refuse to raise a child in a country that bans home-schooling too. I do recognize how foolish this thinking of mine could be though. If you get enough like-minded people in the same country, you might be able to get laws changed.

Thanks for this post! I absolutely agree that it's so important to make sure we have a mix of authors with different perspectives here - I'm really looking forward to it :)

Yes Yes Yes! Let's do it.
We need to end the stigma and taboo concerning LGBTQ people.

Does anyone know any books that centre around an asexual protagonist? I am having difficulty finding a book with ace or are representation, and I would really like to find one.

I was trying to find an appropriate place to drop this book, and this one seems like the best place to do so.
The book is called The Argonauts and it's written by Maggie Nelson. It deals very well with the topic of queerness and personal identity and it's based on Maggie's own life. Maggie herself is a lesbian and her partner Harry is gender fluid (own words: "butch on T"). The book talks about not just their relationship and the view of society on it, but motherhood as well and goes into very intimate thoughts Maggie has and asks very good questions through it all. I'd love it if this book would make it to the reading list here.

LGBT is becoming such a "narrow" description for many people, as both sexuality and gender identification can come in so many shades of "in between" of "more this or more that" and at the end of the day all that should matter is that it's okay. Whoever you identify or don't identify as, whoever you are attracted to and whatever you feel or don't feel is okay. I know it's easier said than done and the world is light years away from being that open minded but we gotta start somewhere. And I think this place here is a good place to start :)

Kodak wrote: "Hi Jelena!

Thanks for taking the time to look round! What kind of book is it, fiction or otherwise? I think my summer will be full of reading!!

Hope you have fun here :)

Kodak x"

It's not titled as such, but its a memoir I'd say. Everything in the book is a personal story from which she draws conclusions/questions and throws in philosophical thoughts from other people (scientists, writers, etc) to add on to her own thoughts. My description might sound confusing but the book is not, promise :)

Cinder wrote: "Does anyone know any books that centre around an asexual protagonist? I am having difficulty finding a book with ace or are representation, and I would really like to find one."

I haven't read any myself, so I won't be able to tell you if they're goog or not, but there are a few lists here on goodreads.

Asexuals in Fiction
Asexuality in YA Fiction
Books With Neuter Gender and Asexual Main Characters
Ace is the Place - Fiction

You can search Goodreads' Listopia for more. https://www.goodreads.com/list

Ana wrote: "For reals. I am a cis, straight girl but I clearly remember the first time I heard discriminatory comments against bisexuals. The most shocking thing is, they came from my friends. Shocking, not be..."

well i'm not sure about vegan meals but I know that schools have to provide fruits to kids and some meals to children that haven't enough money to buy something to eat
I also want to say that some school books are terrible. For example, history's book is full of propaganda and it makes students believe that Greeks were and are the best and they have done nothing wrong. I believe that this really turn students into racists. Also, we do a lesson called religion studies where we were supposed to learn about different religions but we never learn about them (I don't know if you have that lesson in your country) and at some point our teacher said that people who are not "straight" are not humans!

Kodak wrote: "Well, a couple of months ago I reevaluated my life. Only two other people know of my sexual orientation (two friends, not family), because I don't feel the need to 'come out' or justify who I'm wit..."

I am in your same exact situation, I too believe that when I will fall in love ( really in love, I mean) it won't matter if we are talking of a guy or a girl... I don't like being labeled. I mostly dated boys, but I can see myself too perfectly happy with a girl in a likely future...

Moreover, I have recently watched Carol (and I have immediately ordered the book) and I found it a heartwarming story about the struggles of being an (almost) divorced woman in the 50s and being a woman in love with another woman in the 50s... Really, a splendid story..

@ Katelyn: no problem. You could always describe yourself as sexually fluid. Many people do that

I read something, and I would like to share it with you all. It pertains to bisexuality and bisexuals, and it is important, at least to me, that others read it, too. It is so simple but it can also be an eye opener.

If you put blue and red together, it makes purple.

Purple is not referred to as half red, half blue though, because it is its own colour.

The same applies to bisexuality.

Some shades are much more blue than others, some shades are much more red than others, but they're all still called purple.

Being bisexual means you cannot just pick one, as my friends have constantly been asked and/or told to do.

Annie wrote: "@ Katelyn: no problem. You could always describe yourself as sexually fluid. Many people do that "

Purple is a beautiful color :)

*bounces eagerly and points at Savvy's comment* OHOHOHOH!! THATS THE THING I SHARED ON FACEBOOK!

Savannah [semi - hiatus] wrote: "To be one hundred percent honest, I have, or rather, I had, not idea what "inter-sectional feminism" was before I joined this group. Just think, in less than forty eight hours, I have gained so muc..."

Thank you for writing this ! I thought I was alone. It never occurred to me either that there would be a word that meant we had to include everyone. Because for me it was obvious that feminism was not just for white cisgendered (a new word I learned here) women. We all are different after all ! Society cares so much about "normalcy" that it just needs to create categories so everybody can be put into a box and be "identified" as this or that. It is so restricting.

I am learning so much here ! As your "boring" straight girl, it is crazy to see how ignorant I am on these subjects ! I had never heard the term "pansexual" (currently looking it up) or "demisexual" before. I think there is not a day that goes without me needing to search for a word's definition !

Savannah [semi - hiatus] wrote: "It is so simple but it can also be an eye opener"

It's so simple that it's brilliant !

OH! I actually saw something that might help with describing a few different sexualities. Its a bit of a play on One Direction but I think it gets the point across (or at least the first bit does I'll only post the first bit)

A straight/homosexual pop group called One Direction
A bisexual pop group called Both Directions
A pansexual pop group called All Directions
An asexual pop group called No Directions
A demisexual pop group called Emotional Bond Direction

okay so I added 2 of them the first and last but that's more or less the part of the post that I kinda liked cause it does explain the different sexualities a little?

Also, I heard a rumor but idk if its true. The rumor was that female homosexuality was never against the law in England because the Queen of that time didn't believe girls could really do anything with one another? And only outlawed male homosexuality. Is that true or false?

Thanks ! It does explain and sum up everything simply !

I love your pseudo btw ;)

that's what I liked about it was it summed it up simply XD

haha thanks, I'm a huge LOTR nerd <3

To Kiki
About the queen- yes it's true