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Well do grey carpets feature in this tale at all?

not yet but obviously they could be included

And a very nice dining room table and chairs set?

I'm sure we saw at least 50 shades of grey carpet this afternoon.

Obviously you're equating your time spent in carpet shops as some strange form of bondage!

But no, any reworking of the Montague/Capulet feud involving Mutt is not going to heavily feature furniture or carpets

He is obviously a Muttague.

He's doubtless been called a lot of things in his time.....

Most of them unprintable, no doubt.

The printer's of Port Naain pride themselves in their willingness to print anything for money, no matter how offensive.
Mind you, it's the printers that are the main cause of the feud

Im looking forward to seeing this story now.

I'm already working on the ballet score

And Degas is sharpening his paintbrush.

we've even got the signage painted

https://sarahpeverley.files.wordpress...

Or. Do not feed minstrels to the minstrels!

It's never wise,
similarly never leave minstrels unattended either

They tend to disappear if you're not keeping a close eye on them.

normally taking the contents of the minibar with them

And you know how much that minibar stuff costs! The most expensive cheap alcohol known to man.

I can boast proudly that I have never drunk from a minibar. But then I've never been sent anywhere on that sort of expenses account

How did that dancer pose on one foot long enough for the sculptor to make the model?

All Zen ballet dancers have that talent. It takes years to get to that point thought.

not only that but the advantage of paintings over photographs is that with a painting it's a lot easier to hide the wires

Yes, a painting tells 1000 stories, not all of them are true...

Painters, should stick to interior decorating and leave descriptions to poets

You don't like this beautiful portrait, that brings out the full lovliness of the model?

As I said, some people should have stuck to house painting.

Or in certain instances painting the fence with whitewash

I keep meaning to write something cheery in the vague hope that it will sell poetry

https://tallissteelyard.wordpress.com...

Didn't work, did it!

I wondered if I got them properly depressed first?

More nauseated...

Poetry does that to some people

Is there such a thing as a poetry phobia?

Ah yes, of course there is!

http://phobias.about.com/od/phobiasli...

rare amongst civilised people

A charitable cause you may feel called upon to support

https://tallissteelyard.wordpress.com...

Of course, as a good poet should, I provide a range of poetical services https://tallissteelyard.wordpress.com...

Is the small boy named Mutt by any chance?

Mutt, suitably scrubbed, has indeed stepped in to assist on a number of occasions.
The lure of new minted silver has been known to quite turn his head :-)

Not to speak of the pastries.

Young boys can be incentivised with money or cake, I've noticed this

Well going by this group, cake is a powerful lure at any age.

Cake? Did someone mention cake?

Ask Tallis about that. He may allow you to be one of his 'charming ladies'.

I'd like to hire a jongular. But I can't spell it.

Patti (baconater) wrote: "I'd like to hire a jongular. But I can't spell it."

How many jongleurs would madam like?
And obviously there are always vacancies for 'Charming Ladies.' (This might be the story of my life)

Maybe a rewrite of Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' would work here..?

I'd need a dress. And some charm.

Well the dress wouldn't be a problem. How about this?

I like it!

I'd need a corset. Or surgery.

Or cut down on bacon and chocolate slightly.

Don't be redickalus.