Our Shared Shelf discussion

I've always wondered this, who made a natural cycle that almost all women have to go through so uncomfortable? Maybe it's not from men but maybe it is. I'd love to hear your opinion!

What do you mean by taboo?

A taboo subject is something that is generally not talked about very openly as it can make some people uncomfortable

From what I get from Bible, the initial intent was about preventing infective diseases from spreading. So women had to hide it by all means.

Ash wrote: "From what I get from Bible, the initial intent was about preventing infective diseases from spreading."

Yes. Something similar happened with eating pork for Muslims. But it was not just that, it was another argument for women hate too.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-sty...

I mean what do you mean by taboo? Between men? Within society?

That periods in general are just awkward to talk about. Like how no one really wants to say the word. They just say "it's that time of the month". Hinting at it and never having actual conversations about it.

Because women have them and men don't. It's long been an excuse to keep women out of certain places. Some doctors still refuse to operate on women who are on their periods (though they legally have to if there is no one else to do it instead, but even the fact that they have an option...).

I mean, we probably shouldn't talk about periods, or any other bodily fluids, in inappropriate professional settings, or while eating. But I try to combat this taboo but talking about periods, tampons, pads, menstrual cups, cramps, medications, color and consistency, ovulation, etc., to everyone who will listen regardless of gender. Because if someone asks me what's wrong, I'm not going to lie and say "Oh, nothing, just tired!" I'm going to say "My uterus hurts and I am craving all of the foods." And if they have a problems with that, it's their own fault. They asked!

Katelyn wrote: "Because women have them and men don't. It's long been an excuse to keep women out of certain places. Some doctors still refuse to operate on women who are on their periods (though they legally have..."

I mostly agree with not censoring what one says. I'm very free with what I say, especially since I come across as someone who is very polite. My mom, who is very liberal, has even said that sometimes it makes her feel strange that her daughter will talk about sex with her.
But here's thing, whatever way I chose to talk I do so with respect. Because everyone should be treated respectfully. And how that respect usc expressed does depend on who I'm talking to. With my mom, I know I can be straightforward. Same with my few female friends. Around my few male friends, I'd probably be slightly more cruder. With my grandma, I'm more polite in the way I'll approach it.

I'm not sure why would anyone want to have a conversation about their period, is like talking about masturbation, something that is so natural but it is also pretty private, I can't imagine myself saying more than "I have cramps"

Donaji wrote: "I'm not sure why would anyone want to have a conversation about their period, is like talking about masturbation, something that is so natural but it is also pretty private, I can't imagine myself ..."

Agreed. I mean as a guy, the most I can relate to is an injury. But atleast for injuries, I could probably talk about how it happened.

Maybe the ladies here can suggest how you would like a period conversation to go?

I think that the example about lying and saying that you're just tired when someone asks you what's wrong instead of saying that you have cramps is the best one I can think of. I'd rather not talk about bodily functions in general but I also don't enjoy it when I feel as though I have to lie about what's going on just to make sure everyone is comfortable. Does that make sense? I get all up in my thoughts sometimes and they come out confusing.

I am not sure about the above posts, the app crashes when I try to read them right now, but this is my personal experience with males, females, and the topic of periods.

My guy friends are fine with talking about it. In fact, they think girls are a walking miracle. That we practically give birth to the internal lining of one of our organs and still go on like it is a normal day just amazes them. They know that I get cramps so bad that I can not walk, and they feel sorry for me. Sure, they are glad they do not have to face the pain themselves, being male, but they do sympathize with our plight.

Some of my male friends are not so comfortable with the topic, but not for the reason you would think. They are just extreme gentleman who would rather not discuss such personal, private issues with someone they are not dating. I respect that. Their conversations are usually very clean and mature, just without any mention of any body function involving private areas on themselves or myself. Needless to say, sometimes I need a fix of talking to my twisted friends who joke about everything, but on a whole, everything balances out.

They know it is not taboo, nor do they think of it as that way. Half of them think it is awesome that our panties look like a murder scene once a month, some people just don't want to know. It is the same with everything else in life, and that, to be frank and honest, is my opinion as well. I don't like to talk about some things which pertain to men or just society in general, but that does not make it taboo. It all comes down to who you associate with.

I was taught that it is shameful to talk to men about menstruation. One time I found an unopened pad while cleaning out the garage and I shouted, "Mom, I found a pad!" and she shushed me because "dad gets embarrassed about these things." I wonder if different generations have different views on it?
my brother and his wife are in nursing school and they are open to me talking about bodily functions with them without embarrassment (when my parents aren't around). I think relationship dynamics play into what people talk about or not.

I hope I didn't misrepresent my enthusiasm for period talk: I don't go around talking about it to strangers! Haha

But if I am conversing with a person who I might also discuss other bodily functions with: parents, my partner, roommate, friends, even like-minded acquaintances, I don't hold back. I'll talk about how sick I got last night after drinking and describe the color of my puke, I'll excuse myself with "I have to pee!" and even comment on the frequency of bowel movements. So I'll also talk about my period without hesitation.

That being said, I obviously use discretion when necessary. But I won't lie: I do get a bit of a thrill out of making people uncomfortable about these things at times. I personally don't see that big a deal. If I'm getting lunch with a friend, and she is discussing something that takes a turn for the gross and says something like "I'll wait until we're done eating, I don't want to ruin your appetite," my response is, "No, go for it." I just don't find any of is gross, I guess! But I realize a lot of other people do, and I respect that when the situation merits it. However, if someone is just being immature along the lines of "ew, don't talk about your period," for no good reason... I'll probably go right ahead and give them the details. My personal little rebellion against the stigma ;)

Katelyn wrote: "I hope I didn't misrepresent my enthusiasm for period talk: I don't go around talking about it to strangers! Haha

But if I am conversing with a person who I might also discuss other bodily functio..."

I wouldn't want to talk about period details while I'm eating. But that's the same with defecating, puking, worms and other things that you wouldn't want going anywhere near your mouth (please don't bring up 2 girls 1 cup).

Otherwise I'm alright. We can talk about it any other time.

Savannah [semi - hiatus] wrote: "Half of them think it is awesome that our panties look like a murder scene once a month..."

I loved what you said in your whole comment but this line made me laugh after a very horrible cramp not too long ago so thank you for that. XD I'm very happy now loooool.

I like all these comments! They have opened my eyes. Maybe its more awkward since I am in high school and boys aren't really mature? Like its awkward to have a tampon or pad fall out of your purse at school because some boys will make fun of you. I am starting to get the feeling that this problem isn't a problem with men in general its more an issue with peoples maturity level. Thank you!

It's definitely taboo where I live. My dad is a freaking veterinarian and is used to dogs bleeding every month, and he still freaks out if I leave an UNOPENED box of tampons out on the counter.

It's definitely taboo where I live. My dad is a freaking veterinarian and is used to dogs bleeding every month, and he still freaks out if I leave an UNOPENED box of tampons out on the counter.

Alexis wrote: "It's definitely taboo where I live. My dad is a freaking veterinarian and is used to dogs bleeding every month, and he still freaks out if I leave an UNOPENED box of tampons out on the counter."

Really! Wow! That is interesting where do you live? My dad was pissed off when I didn't tell him I had begun having periods. I was have BIG stomach aches and we had to go to the doctor, but then the doctor asked me if I had begun my period (I was 9 and terrified of anyone finding out) and my dad clicked and was like "Yes she has". I am truly grateful that he doesn't care about that. He is a teacher and he knows young girls can be in real pain during their first periods ( i couldn't get up sometimes). He shops for the pads and tampons for me and my sister and mother and he does not forget to take the brand we prefer. It must be hard to keep it a secret when you have it every month!

Okay, so I have found one of the most interesting approaches to the topic of periods and how to explain them. Apparently in 1946, Walt Disney produced a short 10 minute animation about the subject, accompanied with a pamphlet.
It's available on Youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjIJZ...

I can honestly say I never understood it until this video here, I've had periods for almost ten years, and I only watched this within the past month or so.

It's fun explaining why I need Ibuprofen to people at times. The faces are worth it.

Gabrielle, I live in Louisville, Kentucky USA which is considered the more progressive area of my state. However, a part of me thinks that my dad still sees me as a small child, and not 21 years old. I don't know if it his him refusing to believe that I am an adult or if it is "period shaming."

I especially hate that periods (and women in general) are being made fun of ALL the time! "Oh, she's on her period..."
And I definitly think periods are still a taboo! So much regarding womens health is unfortunately still a toboo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL240...
And it's not a suprise, because it's constantly being portrayed as somthing dirty and impure. This video is super interesting! It talks about the representation of periods in the media. Bad as well as good representations. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRczf...
This taboo and stigmatising is leading to many girls not really knowing their body and how it works and how it's been taken care of correctly. http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/02/m...

This is a super interesting article! It's about how periods have been perceived throughout history. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-sty...
And "the period poem" is so amazing! :-D

I would suggest that women are more uncomfortable and terrified of talking about it, than men are of hearing about it. I have this issue with my boyfriend. I would embarrassingly try to persuade him against a trip to the beach with all sorts of excuses except the obvious, and eventually he'll say "oh I see. you're on your period. That's okay let's go biking instead".

I would like to add a new aspect to this discussion since it is very western world focused. In a lot of countries, girls and women are kept from education and forced into isolation due to their monthly period and due to a lack of hygiene products. In a lot of countries, it is more than a taboo. For a lot of girls and women, the monthly period means suffering and no chance to get a real job.
Please have a look at these two interesting and important articles:

http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsands...

http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsands...

Savannah wrote: "I am not sure about the above posts, the app crashes when I try to read them right now, but this is my personal experience with males, females, and the topic of periods.

My guy friends are fine w..."

For the longest time in my family, talking about periods was a no no, even with my mom, who is a nurse. It wasn't until I read this post on Tumblr that I realized that we shouldn't have this negativity/ stigma with periods. In short, the post was talking about how we shouldn't have to hide our pads and tampons underneath a bunch of groceries when shopping. We have no control over it.. Because of that post, it encouraged me to start taking away the negativity in my own family. I leave a basket of pads and tampons out in the open in the bathroom, when I'm cramping, I'll say so in front of male family members.- I don't walk in and announce it, only when asked what is wrong.
There shouldn't be an embarrassment with it, even though for the longest time, I was. I do joke about it with my guy friends when they ask if I am. I find that when you're laid back about it, those around you are as well.

Rachel wrote: "Savannah wrote: "I am not sure about the above posts, the app crashes when I try to read them right now, but this is my personal experience with males, females, and the topic of periods.

My guy f..."

There is nothing I don't like about this post!

A great video about internalised period taboos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeQ2T...
"As a society why are we so much more cool with seeing violent blood than period blood??"