Our Shared Shelf discussion

Hello everyone!

Let's talk a bit about the struggles we might face concerning our sexual gender. I do not only mean putting make-up on our faces or walking on high heels, but coming to terms with our body and the fact that we will have to fight to prove our place in the society.
To be more explicit, I'll share my own experience with you: Like every woman in my family, I had a really early puberty. I had my first periods at the age of 9, and had to wear bras one year latter. Due to some bad experiences in the family, my mother was really afraid that I could be pregnant, and would always repeat to me that when my periods come, I'll be able to have a baby. When they came, I cried because I thought I could not be a kid any more. It took 9 months to make me accept to wear a bra. This adult body was not mine. I hid my periods to everyone because I was ashamed of it. I used to hide my body for the same reason, especially my breast. I could not understand how could someone want such big boobs, as I wanted them to simply disappear.
Now, I still have a very feminine body, but my breast naturally became smaller. I think I am on the right way to accept my body, but I still do not like when men look at me, may it be in a respectful way or not. Moreover, buying underwear is a nightmare for me. I do not get the strange fascination some may have for our bodies. Maybe it is just a projection of the hatred and disgust I have for my own body, but I do not see boobs as sexy for example.
I find the natural ordeals we have to deal with (periods, pregnancy and so on) extremely unfear, and the prejudices we have to fight against make me sick. I very often think my life would be better if I were born a man.

And you, has accepting your femininity ever been a problem?

Hi Bou! I'm sorry you've found it so difficult. I've had a different experience. I have had many times where I've been very angry about the way people treat women (and me as a woman) but for me it's always felt like there is something wrong with them not me. I don't wish to be a man, or feel unhappy with my body as it is, I just wish to be in a society that accepts and treats me better. I actually think that being able to become pregnant is kind of amazing, and I remember when I found out about it at age four or five thinking hey, wow, I'm kind of a superhero! I don't know why I've been lucky to feel like being a woman is a good thing even if some stupid people don't respect it, probably my family has helped me to feel that way.

Which doesn't mean I don't have big problems with the way society treats me, I have huge problems with it.