Our Shared Shelf discussion

Being fat or being very thin has always been point of comments by society.
In my opinion, being judgemental, without knowing the actual cause is very rude.
There are many background causes. It could be genetic or due to some previous medication or some disease or stress reasons or even general causes.
But there is nothing to be ashamed of or to be made fun of.
It is very important to be comfortable in your own skin.

Apoorva wrote: "Being fat or being very thin has always been point of comments by society.
In my opinion, being judgemental, without knowing the actual cause is very rude.
There are many background causes. It coul..."

I agree. I think that being judgmental about someones body shape is wrong. I also think that the assumption that because someone is large they are automatically unhealthy is misinformed. Also that there is a significant gender difference in how acceptable it is to be large. Few people would say that a male football player or wrestler or weight lifter was unhealthy - they are athletes after all. But a woman who doesn't wear a small enough dress size is often assumed to be unhealthy whether she is or not.

Even if someone is not perfectly healthy, I don't think that's a reason to judge or blame them. We don't judge or blame people for having the flu or arthritis. Also I think that a lot of the time the "its not healthy" argument is an excuse. The real problem is that the person is being judged to be not pretty enough, but pretending that its a health concern sounds less shallow than, I'm judging you for not being pretty in the way I think you should be.

Just to clarify, I did not mean that anybody should be judging anyone else because of their size. What I meant is that as a culture we should be examining healthy vs. unhealthy eating habits as a whole.

Kressel wrote: "Just to clarify, I did not mean that anybody should be judging anyone else because of their size. What I meant is that as a culture we should be examining healthy vs. unhealthy eating habits as a w..."

That seems fair.

I don't know how many of you are familiar with the work of Dan Ariely, but he's an economist who applies the rules of the economic marketplace to the dating marketplace. The currency in the dating marketplace is beauty. So is our sense of beauty culturally-defined or is it something more hard-wired? My guess is that it's some combination of both.

This makes me wonder how much we can ever escape evaluating ourselves according to our attractiveness because the dating market is not going away. I'm not talking about judging others now. I'm talking about how we assess ourselves.

Incidentally, Dan Ariely is a burn victim who is scarred for life. I suspect he didn't do all that well in the dating market when he was younger, and that's what got him thinking along these lines.

http://www.boredpanda.com/bergedorfer...
a messed up attempt at body positivity...

More on beauty and feminism: http://www.wnyc.org/story/beauty-self.... It's an interview with the author of this book:

Emma wrote: "Marina wrote: "http://www.boredpanda.com/bergedorfer...
a messed up attempt at body positivity..."

That is kind of messed up, but ..."

yeah but it's not true positivity when it's for white cis men only. meanwhile women are still expected to make their best effort to move on after an actual pregnancy as if nothing happened and go back to their original weight asap.

Kressel wrote: "More on beauty and feminism: http://www.wnyc.org/story/beauty-self.... It's an interview with the author of this book:

[bookcover:Face Value: The Hidden Ways Beauty Shapes Women's Lives|2..."

aH I loved that !! I definitely need to read her book now.

Very nice podcast! It's revealing, Worth to hear it and re-think your own attitude and your thoughts about fatness (avoid assumptions, and be emphatic). Now I want to read the book Shrill. Thanks @kressel for the recommendation.

a beer ad could still have featured women and non-white men. or an androgyne person. also bigger men.

i also like the potential to deconstruct the "sacred female role", but I think it goes too far in that.

perhaps the best thing about the ad is that it glorifies a non-hourglass figure, which is why it would be such a great image for women.

Indigo, thanks for sharing your story. It was a valuable addition to the discussion.

From a medical standpoint it is extremely problematic to see the global obesity epidemic, but on the level of individuals I believe it is a discussion for the individual and their healthcare workers to ponder the health of body and mind. But people just can't stop meddling in the affairs of others.

I recently discovered a movement known as StyleLikeU which promotes the idea that true style is self acceptance (apologies if it's already been shared).

Here's the link for the website and their YouTube channel:
http://stylelikeu.com/
https://www.youtube.com/user/stylelikeu

I found their What's Underneath project video's particularly interesting, and very relevant to intersectionality. They feature people from various backgrounds discussing their different experiences, including sexism, fatphobia, body image, racism, mental health, ageism and transphobia. This movement is really worth checking out, and it's helped me a lot with moving towards self-acceptance.

I must agree with those who assert that fat shaming has less to do with concern for the fat person's health and more with society's view of beauty. I was always a big boned tall broad woman. Recently I have also put on a considerable amount of weight. Now I know that it is unhealthy and am working on losing it. But although I have seen much more discrimination lately I have never been comfortable with my body, even when I was very healthy and just broad. No one really cares about your BMI. Being a size 12 just isn't acceptable in society.
Smokers are not as harshly judged as obese people, although they are both just as unhealthy. Why as an overweight woman do I receive looks if I eat in public? Even if it is a salad or a banana people tend to judge the very act of an overweight person eating.
There is also a certain stereotype I cannot stand where fat people are viewed as less intelligent and more low class. This pains me very much as I do not consider myself on a lower level academically. In fact I happen to have a very high GPA and spend more time reading and almost no time watching films.
Do not judge fat people with the excuse that you are worried for their health. You have no idea what is going on in their body.

The "funny" thing about smokers is that they are also poisoning their surroundings. We'll have a law come in place soon that forbids people from smoking on their balconies. Can't wait, have to close windows when my neighbour lights his cancer sticks next to my home. Hate the smell, hate the attitude.

As for excess weight and intelligence, actually it can be the reverse if we go on a hunch. Many academics I know are far from athletic, but vastly prefer mental challenges over bodily ones. I also wonder how many educated people are among those who yell slurs after others in the name of fat shaming?

I think that no one should be body shamed. I have always been fairly thin, and I'm shamed sometimes for my weight as well. Why can't we encourage people to be healthy and active, but also to love their bodies?

When people weight shame, it's not benefitting the person. It's makes them eat more, and how's that helping anyone? Besides, it's nobody's business about another's weight.

I eat (a lot) but I'm not neccesarily fat, I'm just not skinny, either. But I need to eat when I get hungry, and that's quite frequent, because my days are busy.
I bike every day, I try for around 7 miles, because yes, I've got a little bit of cellulite on my thighs. When I'm talking to a friend about my weight or my biking, even a small remark can make me feel really self conscious, if not a bit hurt. Weight is a sensitive subject. You have to be careful when talking about it.

If your friend says you need to lose weight, sometimes you must think that they are worried about your health and that maybe we don't see it. But we do, at least that's the way I feel.

Everyone's weight is their own situation, no ones else's, unless you make it that way, is how I see it.

@Hannah, people living in poverty have confirmed repeatedly that it's not a myth. Sure, they know that cooking at home is better, but that's become a luxury. Time is money. There are also some less obvious issues like not being able to afford frequent trips to the store to buy fresh products... and especially fresh fruit IS expensive per se. Also, getting what's on sale is great if you can afford it, but poor people often have just enough for one [anything] at a time, and as a result are forced to pay more and miss out on the deals.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/09/c...
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/05/p...
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/09/f... (this one mentions skipping meals, which also leads to weight gain)
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2013/11...

http://killermartinis.kinja.com/why-i... this one is misleading (the person is not poor anymore) but people say many things are spot-on.

It's so wrong that some people who are actually sick get compliments for looking thin but they get less compliments for their return to health. This is a nice little comic http://www.upworthy.com/a-comic-expla...

@Hannah, I never replied... The whole idea of excuses can be discriminatory. Yes, the various organic businesses are making it seem like you need to be rich to eat "healthy" food. But sometimes there may be other reasons beyond the excuses you get. And time is money, both in terms of cooking at home and workouts. BTW I thought bananas aren't really a good example of healthy fruit.
Basically people are judged too much for their weight and what they eat, by people who don't know their situation. That's exactly what fatphobia is.

I always remember when someone said he thought jessica ennis was fat and "carring a bit too much weight" (this was just before she won the olympic medal for heptathlon back in 2012) I just thought what has it come to that some people think that she is fat!

You'd think someone fit enough to win the heptathalon- which with 7 event almost guarantees that they're going to be all around fit- would be the definition of healthy, but apparently there are people out there who think that being fit enough to win an Olympic medal isn't enough.

I think it depends on what you mean by body acceptance. If you mean celebrating people who are of a healthy weight even if they weigh more than the skinny ideal that is fine. But if we are talking about promoting fat acceptance I think that it is different. Having a high percentage of body fat does contribute to potential health risks so I don't have any problem with making that clear and giving people the knowledge and opportunity to make healthy decisions and get to a healthy weight.

Either way, all reasonable people can agree that fat-shaming is dangerous and, in a number of cases, counterproductive:

http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3...

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10...

I don't think that it's a distinctly feminist issue, but it could tie in with it. I also think that people shouldn't be bullied or discriminated against for being fat, but fat people should realised that sure, you can be happy with yourself, but there comes a point were too much weight is unhealthy.

Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, so I would speculate this is where the idea that one's weight is tied to one's moral character comes from. But greed is a deadly sin, but we don't shame greedy (with money or possessions or power) people the same way we shame overweight people.

In order to evaluate if "thin privilege" is truly an incurring concept at all, one would need to define privilege.

Privilege: a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people.


Now, do thin people have special rights, advantages, or immunities granted upon them just because they are thin?

Not necessarily.


It's one of those things you know right off the bat, without the necessity of analysis: Society condemns weight, sure. But society condemns weight exclusively when there's just a tad too much of it.

Society in all earnestly, could give less of a damn if you don't exercise or eat right.
It isn't society's job to focus on the trivial things in life, the boring and tedious parts that don't reflect anything particularly interesting.
That is unless you happen to not fit into what society justifies as being right: such as being fat.

If you're fat, or chubby, or even a little rounder than necessary, the chances of you falling into society's standard of beauty, ironically, become slimmer.

If you're fat, it's expected for you to be turned down, because that isn't what people want.

It could be those extra ten, twenty, or fifty pounds that set you back. The ones that serendipitously drape themselves over your body in the "wrong" places.

Society usually doesn't tell a thin woman to pack more meat, but it's quick to tell a woman that they aren't good enough if they don't lose weight. It expects them to change, even though that would mean that they aren't good enough as is.

Moreover, it doesn't even mean a thin woman is immune to society's figurative reprimand. It just means that society is much more facilitated to turn a blind eye when there isn't that much cellulite.

Stretch marks, excess skin, places that mold to one's hand when gripped. All things that may indicate a bit of extra weight. But not sure-fire indicators of health, or happiness.

How society sees weight isn't just a women's issue.
Women aren't the only ones with a desire to love their bodies. Women aren't the only ones shamed, excluded from societal norms, or deemed as 'undesirable', just because they pack a bit of extra weight.
Weight is something spread across all genders, ages, races, and socio-economic statuses.

And at the end of it all, we know it's not a question of health. Weight has become such a fundamental part of our society as per a constructed beauty standard that manipulates a large portion of us to see some traits as more "worthy."

Thin privilege MAY exist, but not by force.
And even thinness can queue out to a point where the tables turn, and those that are "a tad too slim" receive their share of hate.

Feminist or not, tolerance and respect should be expressed towards others. Thin privilege is not the main concern, and it's existence is arguable as is.

There is minimal excuse towards a lack of health, self-control, or exercise, but if someone can live viably, and their weight is no danger to their own being, then why should they feel ashamed of their appearance. Weight loss is obviously a necessary out-source, but it is not always the case. One can be over-weight and live a prosperous life. Hell, some people can be slightly obese and live a fruitful life as well. Weight is not always an indicator of health, and as I stated previously, society's problem with weight only lies at a superficial level.

What matters is that we embrace different shapes and sizes, and come to have preferences based on our unique interests, instead of an aggregated spreadsheet called "normalized standards."

Come to love that tummy you so gently grab on, those thighs that take up quite a bit of space, those rounded cheeks that become rounder when you smile!

And likewise, own your slender fingers, bony hip-bones, and rejuvenated jawline!



I feel like thin privilege denotes a large concern, and acts as a way to belittle both those that are "thin-privileged", and those that aren't.



Being thin may be seen as easier, but if we are busy acting as if overweight, chubby, or fat individuals are oppressed, how are we going to stand up proudly and rejoice?



And where will the definition of oppression lie?
Even those that are thin suffer from insecurities, expectations, and criticism.



It's crucial that we simply realize that equality is stagnant if we continue dividing amongst ourselves.


Acceptance, understanding, and respect will always be key, no matter what one looks like on the outside!

Privilege is a well-defined term when it comes to oppression. Research this.
It's not about privileged people not suffering from "insecurities, expectations, and criticism". It's about them being less likely to experience specific kinds of that. For example people are likely not to question a thin person's food choices and assume that they work out regularly.
The whole point of privilege is that it's seen as normal until you lose it. You don't notice it, it's invisible. (the article where the term originated was about "invisible white privilege") Only those who aren't allowed the same dignity are constantly aware of it.

While some kinds of privilege make you completely immune to specific kinds of oppression, nobody says that privilege shields you from *all* oppression, and most understand that you can still experience sexism, racism, homophobia, classism etc while thin. Not everyone understands that you're likely to experience them differently from a fat person, though. It's not about dividing among ourselves, it's about hearing those who we stand for. For example a thin feminist needs to listen to what fat women tell her.

"Being thin may be seen as easier, but if we are busy acting as if overweight, chubby, or fat individuals are oppressed, how are we going to stand up proudly and rejoice?"
I don't see how one excludes the other. And it's not "as if". They actually experience discrimination and oppression on various levels.
It's true that many fat people have internalized the shaming they've experienced. And they're more likely to be able to accept themselves if they discrimination they face isn't ignored or minimized.

I'm overweight myself, and although it may not be easy, and I myself have been insulted and berated with my fair share of slurs and questioning, I don't think we need to put so much division. A thinner feminist shouldn't have to listen to a fatter feminist because of their differences. It may offer a differentiating and broadened view-point, yes, but they should listen to each other regardless, because that's what encourages dialogue and deliberation amongst individuals with a similar end-goal in mind: equality.


Call me wrong for what I said previously in another comment, but I still think we need to learn acceptance and tolerance without the use of extra labels. Societal beauty standards are just that! Standard definitions for what is pleasing and desirable, and what isn't. It's our job to subtly change these standards in order to appreciate and accept all kinds of beauty...but slapping some names on constructed concepts isn't going to help the cause. Acknowledging who is thin isn't the same as structuring explanations so that we label even more individuals. I refuse to say that I'm oppressed because I'm chubby. That's pretty much the end of it on my part. I want others like myself to feel proud of themselves, but I know quite a few people that wouldn't benefit to know that the thinner people around them are privileged and that they in turn are oppressed.

Natty wrote: "I'm overweight myself, and although it may not be easy, and I myself have been insulted and berated with my fair share of slurs and questioning, I don't think we need to put so much division. A thi..."

You're very welcome to say that you don't feel oppressed, but if another person says they experience different treatment because they are fat or old/young or disabled or of a sexual minority or a different religion or race, by all means go ahead and say the same about those people, tell them they are imagining being less privileged or that what they are talking about is a constructed concept.

Just know that you're microaggressive in that case, because you'd be invalidating another person's subjective life experience. Microaggression has no place in feminism.

Also, labels help! It's always good to be able to name what bothers you. And discrimination can be about many things, like nice clothes only being available in smaller sizes, or seats not being large enough for a fat person, not to mention all the "helpful" advice like "my aunt did this and lost weight", and generally policing the food choices or what one wears (to the point of saying they're too fat to wear a bikini). I'm glad if you've not experienced any of these.

And of course we should all listen to each other, but on its own this is similar to the argument that we don't need feminism and humanism is enough. Mainstream feminism fails WOC, fat, disabled, trans women all the time, so if you're privileged it's extra important to listen. And the less privileged women generally know much more about your privileged experience, because according to mainstream feminism it's supposed to be their experience too.

I wish to add to my previous comment that while I'm fairly okay with how I look currently, if someone would make rude remarks about my 20+ kg overweight, it would be fat shaming regardless of my personal feelings. In other words, whether I react or not upon words intended to hurt, belittle and in other words put me down, it is fat shaming, no matter what. Bullying works the same. Whether your child cares about being shut out or not, the bully and their behaviour needs to stop.

Trying to work against "labelling" in this case means you're working against the definition of something undesirable in interpersonal relationships. We all know what rude or angry or hurt or violent or abusive or hateful means. We also know that many people are trying to put a stop to negative treatment of others.

Wanting to talk about abuse in other words than abuse doesn't make abuse go away. Trying to find another way to describe what goes on is cumbersome and undesirable in my opinion. Because it's still abuse, no matter what you call it.

Child abuse is still legal in some parts of the world and if we can't even agree on calling it the same thing and defining it the same way, how could we ever abolish physical punishment, slaps, pulling hair and other primitive behaviour from adults, who should be adults rather than underdeveloped brats taking the easy way, whilst refusing to step up and become the mature people they should be, use their words instead of fists? How would we make a law against child abuse if we were to use expressions such as "you must be nice to your child" or " you mustn't hit your child", then sentence to community service or jail for "slapping their child on a weekly basis" instead of call it child abuse plain and simple? Because child abuse is hitting, slapping, belittling, grounding for nothing, power tripping and a huge number of other disturbed behaviour.

To be able to work on a problem with a solution in mind, first we need to talk about the same thing. Body positivity is a movement with the aim to make everyone feel good about the body they have. I'm all for body positivity. This doesn't mean I neglect to see what effects a person's weight can have on how their surroundings perceives and treats them (negatively). Some of it can be subtle, too, such as choosing the thin rather than fat candidate for an open position.

The whole point of discussing fat shaming in relation to thin privilege is precisely the bond that exists between them. On a societal level, in the West it is desirable to be thin rather than fat. Fat people are claimed to have low levels of self-control, they are pigs, disgusting, etc.

Just because one individual experiences kind treatment from their immediate surroundings, doesn't mean other fat people aren't hearing verbal abuse about their weight on a daily basis.

I wonder what Natty would say if their naked body was photographed in secret, then posted to Snapchat with some disgusting remark, for the whole world to see? Silent acceptance, shrug, law suit? Kudos if the only reaction would be a shrug. Most people aren't that okay with their bodies. That's why we have laws and human rights.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/11/9...
http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/04/t...

Apoorva wrote: "Being fat or being very thin has always been point of comments by society.
In my opinion, being judgemental, without knowing the actual cause is very rude.
There are many background causes. It coul..."


I have been subjected to many rude comments about my size over the years. My ancestry and metabolism have made me what I am: a child sized adult. I am not necessarily happy about it, but I have learned to live with it and have a sense of humor about it.

Yes, I would love to be able to see something other than the back of other people's heads in a crowd. Yes, I would love to walk into a store and find clothes that fit perfectly without being adorned with images of Hello Kitty and Disney Princesses. I would be so happy if I could reach the items on the top shelf in the grocery store, or even my own kitchen.

Being a tiny person I sometimes feel marginalized.

I feel that as a child, if you grow up with everything telling you that this is the only way you are to look pretty it could become embedded in your head and it can then become very hard to really make your mind up about what you perceive as attractive and learning to accept yourself. (This is how I had felt for quite sometime.)

I feel like "loving your body" shouldn't be equivalent to "loving it as it is" but more "treating it how it ought to be treated". Golden Rule as they say.

Such as, be healthy, enjoy exercise/physical activity and have a palate that loves eating well, a diet filled with mainly a wide variety of fruits and vegetables and greatly prefers non-processed food.

It's honestly a rather simple rule, especially if it can be built into habit, because body's generally gravitate to wanting to be healthy anyway. When regular exercise and proper diet are your norm, deviating is actually not pleasurable after a little bit. Think of the "highs" and "lows" of excessive eating.

Society pressures on women's (and men's) bodies are distorting, but many individuals can make active choices for better values/weight/health.

Winston wrote: "I feel like "loving your body" shouldn't be equivalent to "loving it as it is" but more "treating it how it ought to be treated". Golden Rule as they say.

Such as, be healthy, enjoy exercise/physi..."

I think you're misunderstanding the crux of the problem which is that people can be bigger while still being healthy and exercising and yet are told by society that they are not attractive and should be working harder to become thinner. They are shamed for their natural bodies.

When it becomes a problem is obesity, where weight brings along a number of health issues. And still, it's not anybody's role but their doctor's to tell them to work out or eat better.

Alison wrote: "Winston wrote: "I feel like "loving your body" shouldn't be equivalent to "loving it as it is" but more "treating it how it ought to be treated". Golden Rule as they say.

Such as, be healthy, enjo..."

Yeah I appreciate the possibilities of one's physical appearance not being the best barometer for your health, and that society for sure, puts a burden on meeting a certain standard of beauty. This is negative.

In point of fact, lots of people in America are "secretly obese" where their outward appearance is fine, but their bloodwork would reflect extreme risk for heart disease, stroke, and other aliments. A lot of that is due to the amount of processed food, like "diet" whatever.

That being said, the actionables should include teaching everyone to be engaged in healthy habits , like I mentioned above.

Winston wrote: "Alison wrote: "Winston wrote: "I feel like "loving your body" shouldn't be equivalent to "loving it as it is" but more "treating it how it ought to be treated". Golden Rule as they say.

Such as, b..."

I definitely agree with you, I just wanted to make sure you understood some of the other issues that solely eating healthy and exercise can't solve. Often, those two things are used as a cure-all for body image problems and that's not a complete or productive way of addressing the problem.

Alison wrote: "Winston wrote: "Alison wrote: "Winston wrote: "I feel like "loving your body" shouldn't be equivalent to "loving it as it is" but more "treating it how it ought to be treated". Golden Rule as they ..."

you're right. I'll try to be more clear/aware of the difference between the issues of society putting pressure on someone's body that need to be addressed, while explaining I'm thinking of a personal solution to the more personal problem of loving oneself.

Though, I would poise the further question of, if everyone had healthy habits and were collectively more educated on proper diet and exercise, would societal body image change? would it change for the better?

At a guess, I'd say yes, I would think if every member of society were more aware of their own personal health, the advertising and fatphobia/thin privilege (or for reversal thin S=shaming) would at least be better, if not resolved

Winston wrote: "Alison wrote: "Winston wrote: "Alison wrote: "Winston wrote: "I feel like "loving your body" shouldn't be equivalent to "loving it as it is" but more "treating it how it ought to be treated". Golde..."

Hi Winston;

I personally don't have any problems with my size.........it is society that ignores the fact that not all adults are "adult sized". Believe me, there is no exercise/diet regimen that will boost me up to 5'2''.

Thankfully, furniture manufacturers have been the first to respond to the needs of the "littles" of this world. Our local furniture store now stocks chairs that I can comfortably sit in without my feet dangling above the floor. The local clothing stores are just going to have to adjust to losses to internet sellers that deal in apparel that fits well and is age appropriate.

Being excessively fat or thin doesn't necessarily mean you're unhealthy. My mom is one of the fattest person I know but also the healthiest.

I've struggled with body image my whole life (being fat since I can remember) and this is a threat I am really interested in. When I was ashamed of being fat, I used to be on diets a lot because "being thin is the right thing" and this is the usual conversation I get a lot when I loose weight:
Somebody: you've lost weight
Me: yup
Anybody else: dont be rude, you have to be thankful.

Why? Why do I have to be thankful for someone noticing my wight loss?

Another thing... "you're smart for a fat person".... how does that even correlate??

I know I'm not answering directly to any of the comments, but this is my view. At least where I live (Venezuela) there's really fat phobia and thin privilege, getting to the point where automatically a girl is ugly just because she's fat, well, boys too.

I don't think being fat or thin is a problem, as with feminism, I think the huge problem is the way society catalogues something as wrong or right.

Honestly, I have seen both the shaming of more heavy people and more skinny people. I've seen people shame others for their hair, curves, weight, appearance, etc. People can be soooo critical at times, no matter the person. Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own right.

Astrid wrote: "That's a difficult question - it depends on what body acceptance entails. (I should probably mention that I'm fat/chubby, so that's where I'm coming from).

I've seen some argue that body acceptanc..."

I'm not gonna read 200-odd messages so hopefully I'm repeating someone here but body acceptance is NOT telling people they're okay however they look. It's not telling people it's okay to be fat. Body Acceptance is about realising that you are MORE than your body. If I'm fat, does that make me less deserving of love? Does it mean I don't have a great work ethic? Does it mean I don't have intelligent ideas? Body Acceptance is accepting that your body is JUST A BODY.

And this is something that affects males also but it's particularly bad for females because we are constantly taught that as females, what our bodies look like is relative to who we are as people.

Fatphobia comes from people making the assumption that our worth is correlated with our appearance. These people believe that how our bodies appear is a physical manifestation of who we are as people. These are usually the same people who believe body acceptance means enjoying being fat. Society likes to tell us how incredibly 'dangerous' it is to be fat, and plenty of unqualified people are happy to jump on board under the guise of helpfulness, whether naively misguided or intentionally hateful.

So yes, I consider it a feminist issue, but I think it also goes far beyond that. We need to STOP focusing on the outside shell completely and start appreciating the souls inside the meat suits.

Thank you, Krystal.

Note: This is written before I have had much of a chance to reread this thread and catch up on newer posts, but it is my personal experience with weight related views, so I figured here would be the best place to post. <3

For the honest reason of me never having been fat, I have never had to experience fat phobia and the hurt that comes with it.

My opinion of the word "fat" itself is that it is not an insult on its own, rather a fact. You see people in Facebook comments calling someone in a video fat and people jumping to their defense; if a person is fat, they are fat. That should not be taken offensively. What should be taken offensively is if someone shames a fat person for their weight.

In reverse, I am a thin person, and the reason I have never been and most likely will never be fat is because of my body and that I have a fast metabolism. Through various experiments, I have learned that no matter what I do, the only way I will gain body mass is through muscle, and that if I do not eat regularly (and a lot at that), I will rapidly lose what weight I currently hold.

Sound nice? I can tell you it isn't.

Not only am I thin, I am petite, so my weight hasn't ever been above 50 kilograms (around 110 pounds for the Americans who will read this). As such, I have experienced a lot of skinny shaming(? not sure of the right term) and I have experienced a lot of hurtful comments.

One I have frequently heard for the last few years is that I have an eating disorder. People have said I am anorexic more times than I can count, and it got so bad that at one point I said enough is enough and got a professional opinion from a doctor just to make sure I wasn't going crazy and that everyone else was right.

Because of the changing mindset of people outwardly expressing a love your curves attitude, real women have curves, it is okay to be fat as long as you are healthy, etc, things are just getting worse for me personally.

Somehow, somewhere, somebody thought it would be okay to hate on "skinny chicks" just because they are skinny and don't have big hips/big boobs/a voluptuous figure. Apart from having a relieving little rant here, all I want to know is, when did it start being a trend to hate on "skinny chicks"? And what I really, really want to know is who first said that only real women have curves?

Savannah wrote: "Note: This is written before I have had much of a chance to reread this thread and catch up on newer posts, but it is my personal experience with weight related views, so I figured here would be th..."

I agree that thin shaming also exists and I too have dealt with it my whole life. People can be so rude, saying things like "you look anorexic", "must be nice to be skinny" (but in an extremely rude way), "do you eat?" Of course I eat - what kind of question is that? It's one thing to be genuinely worried about someone's health, but another thing to be completely rude and just insult someone.
It has always been especially hurtful to feel like I'm not womanly because I don't have the curves that society says we need apparently as a woman. Body shaming happens to people in all shapes and forms and it's just so strange because I can't personally understand why these things come out of other people's mouths.

Exactly Krystal. If someone wants to know more about the roots and the purposes of the body positivity movement you can subscribe to Melissa A. Fabellos monthly newsletter. I learned so much from it. It's actually a movement fighting for body justice and ending body-based opression. So one has to actively understand and analyse the current system of opression in order to dismantle and challenge it. Just wanting everyone to feel good about their bodies is not enough. Although this is a nice side-effect. But there are more opressed and more privileged bodies. And it's hurting the movement if it's only centered around privileged bodies. I hope that made some sense. Better subscribe to the newsletter. It's a more complex issue than I (and many people I guess) thought, but very important.