Write, Wrote, Written II discussion

Ooh, this sounds amazing! Can't wait to read more!

Yeah, this sounds really good! WRITE.

Thanks!!! I'm excited to do this. Hopefully it gets me back in the groove of things.

Nice job with the summary, I'm looking forward to to seeing where this goes!

I like the first chapter, but my first impression of the narrator is a bit unclear. He starts off humorous and sarcastic, almost good-natured, and then is abruptly overtaken by rage. I think you could improve this chapter by making him more consistent. For example, you could develop the part when he becomes angry to make the buildup to his outburst more clear and understandable. Or, you could edit the beginning to make his humor more bitter, so that he seems like the kind of person who would be likely to lash out suddenly.

Emma wrote: "Nice job with the summary, I'm looking forward to to seeing where this goes!

I like the first chapter, but my first impression of the narrator is a bit unclear. He starts off humorous and sarcasti..."

Thanks!! I actually had the same feeling, so I'm grateful it wasn't just me.

Nice job on the edits, I think the first chapter is a lot stronger!

I'm a little confused, how long has it been since Natenska saw her father? Also, why is Natenska a nickname for Anastasia?

Thank you! Yes, it is a definite improvement, so thanks for bringing it up in your last comment.

To your first question, it has been five years (as mentioned in the first part). So she's fifteen now. Again, not a huge gap, but enough for them to see familiarities, and to be a bit shocked by each other's appearances.

Natenska is the dimunitive form of Anastasia.

Oh, okay! I missed the time skip the first time I read it, that makes more sense.

That's interesting, I don't know much about Russian names. Looking forward to the next chapter! :)

I think the third chapter is missing?

Nope, you just have to click "spoiler" :)

Oh okay, I don't think that works on my phone so I'll have to look at it on my computer later. Thanks!

*claps* Very good! I can't wait to read more!

I am confused, though, is this your writing or are you simply posting someone else's? It seems like your writing style, but I'm not sure...

It is mine. :)

I do want to make a few more changes so you can better understand where it's taking place and I would like to have a bit more of the Russian culture, but I'm lazy. :P

I think Im going to incorporate some Slavic mythology later on.

Thanks too! I'm glad you like it so far!!

Okay, okay, yeah

Oooooh... :)

Chapter 3:
I really enjoyed this chapter, the descriptions were great! And Anastasia's character was so strong during her conversation with her father, I loved that scene. :) My only critique would be that the ending felt a little sudden. Anastasia was so angry with her father, I think it would take a little longer for that emotion to fade. Maybe she could end the conversation after he says the line about them being blood, and then think about that when she's alone and decide to forgive him. After all, it's a pretty big decision she's making, leaving her life to go serve a mysterious lord.

Chapter 4:
The writing on the wall was so interesting, and kind of eerie at the same time. The double POV is working really well! So many books I read with multiple narrators struggle to write in distinct voices, but I think you've done a great job of distinguishing the voices of Anastasia and Nikolay.

Can't wait for more! :)

Yeah. I felt the last part lacking in Chapter 3 too. :( I'll fix it later.

And I'm glad the POVs are good, that was one of my concerns. So yay!!! Victory!! The writing on the wall is one of my favorite bits of the Russian version. I do want to expand that scene.

The original story sounds really interesting, I'm gonna have to go look it up now! :)