Our Shared Shelf discussion

It has always bugged me about how boys and girls are sometimes associated with certain colors. A good example of this is blue for boys and pink for girls in merchandise, i.e. toys.
I shall cut to the chase: I volunteer at my local natural history museum, and I helped out with the museum's summer camp this past week. There were sixteen campers total; eight boys and eight girls, rising 4th and 5th grade. At lunchtime each day, the counselors and I would set out two or three picnic blankets for the campers. There were two picnic blankets that we used the most; one had brightly colored flowers on the design, while the other one was dark blue. The camp counselors did not say anything about who should sit where (rightfully so, of course, but I'm sure everyone can predict where this is going).
The boys and girls immediately segregated themselves; the girls always chose to eat on the flower blanket while the boys chose blue. The segregation wasn't limited to the colors and patterns; however. On some days, we laid out three picnic blankets with no particular design or color, yet the boys still sat on one blanket, the girls another, and the genders mixed on the last blanket (I would assume because they had no other option but to sit together).
I asked several of the campers why they chose to separate themselves. The truth was that they really did want to avoid one another. This applied to several other parts of camp: when we played games that required teams; the boys and girls would part; when the campers got to pick a hat that was either blue, pink, or yellow, the girls in total picked all three colors, but no boys chose pink.
I don't know if that is just what they do at that particular age or not. It's just really sad. I once tried to explain to some of the campers that they don't have to feel the need to separate themselves. Truth be told, they were very comfortable where they were. I know we have long discussed how we all can take a bigger role in teaching people about gender equality and feminism, yet I continue to struggle when I think about stepping up and saying something. So I just wanted to ask everyone: How can you get your point across without sounding awkward?

IDK how to get the point across without sounding awkward but I do understand the color segregation. Since I have an obsession with the color blue, I probably would've been the girl to sit on the blue blanket regardless. I mean... dark blue!! xD Though I doubt it has anything to do with me being a transman today.

Quite frankly whenever someone goes on about "pink being a girly color and blue being a boyish color" I just roll my eyes and remember how in the start of the 20th century it was reversed because red was seen as "bold and manly" and therefore pink, as a variant of red, is "manly" and for little boys to wear. Conversely, blue was seen "gentle and quiet" and therefore perfect for quiet demure little girls to wear.

IDK when that switched but I'm kinda sad.

In any case, I still remember being in preschool and being asked our favorite colors, and at the time I liked pink. I replied with pink and then saw a friend of mine who replied "green" and noticed the great surprise of the adults at my friend replying "green" instead of the expected "pink" too. I felt scorn towards my friend at the time because at least *I* liked the "proper girl's color, pink."

I've LONG outgrown that way of thinking of course, and moved into an obsession of blue without a single look back at the color pink (IDK why I changed but I did). I still remember how I had that moment of scorn for my friend for daring to choose a different color than we were expected to like, and pride in myself for liking the "proper girl's color." I keep that in mind when I have to deal with kids who are heavily indoctrinated in this color system and don't have the experience (yet) to make their own choices without having either pink or blue being shoved into their faces.

I think it's terribly sad that we force one color or another in their faces all the time, depending on what way their body was born. It's like shoving white or black into their faces, and completely ignoring not just gray but all the wonderful color spectrum outside of that. Except in this case, it's pink and blue and completely ignoring purple too (though it seems to be associated with girls too, just a "regal princess" sort of thing if I'm not mistaken?)

It's weird. Girls are assigned all the pink, purple, flowery and colorful patterns. Boys are assigned the blue, grey, brown, black, green, "duller colors" and "dark" patterns. It's weird... and sad.

Indigo wrote: "IDK how to get the point across without sounding awkward but I do understand the color segregation. Since I have an obsession with the color blue, I probably would've been the girl to sit on the bl..."

Thank you for sharing this story! Whenever I help out with summer camp, I keep trying to figure out how to communicate with students/campers more efficiently than I have in the past. Nevertheless, the part where you mention coping with kids who are indoctrinated in today's color system; that's quite helpful to me :-)

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

Well for the society is the natural thing, and so for those kids, they feel comfortable in it and changing it feels akward ( also when they are childs they are told to think on the other gender as gross) . As society we do it all the time, we divide our students in files of girls and boys, most private schools have a skirt for girls and pants for boys ( even throught my school has pants for both genders), we divide the pe teams on girls teams and boys teams, we divide bathrooms, we divide sports like football for guys and volleyball for girls, etc, etc, etc. That makes it really hard for trans people, don't you think that? It was a really great deal when a trans boy started to go to my school because the directors didn't know where he should go to the bathroom or if he was allowed to wear pants ( obviously they accepted the fact that if they stand against him, his family would take legal actions, they're not stupid) and even throught , some other students parents where concernt about it . Genders are a complicated subject, they are a social construction and for me they shouldn't matter at all and they shouldn"t define a person. But maybe someone who is trans and past for a series of obstacles for defining his gender and fight for what he felt doesn't feel the same way. We are just people, with feelings, dreams and a limitated time for showing the world who we are and what we are up to. I don't think that there is something that makes you a woman or something that makes you a man and i don't think feminity or masculanity has something to do with being a woman or being a man, even when people tell us to. But i know a lot of you doesn't think this way

As a transman, I would say my gender is definitely there since I get happy when I am addressed sir/mister and he/him instead of ma'am/miss and she/her. I do wish there wasn't a huge separation of genders like Aly outlined above. Especially in what to wear, how to sit, how to take up space, how to walk, where to walk, how to talk, even talk at friggin' all, how to relate with others, etc. etc. etc. It's maddening sometimes! It goes way beyond just color but that's perhaps better saved for the Constructions of Gender; Conformity and Non; Trans and Cis Experiences thread. (here: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/... )

I do agree with femininity and masculinity having nothing to do with being a "woman" or a "man." I'm an effeminate gay man, and I'm still a man. It's a big difference from being a masculine straight woman. HUGE really. I'll save talking of that sort for another thread though. This is more just about colors and how to deal with that one facet of the arbitrary gender divide.