Support for Indie Authors discussion

Hello you helpful people,
I've been watching you from the sidelines so I know you're very good at this. Now I'm hoping for your awesome help with my tagline for my new thriller (and I'm working up to the blurb). The name of the book is 'Time Lies'.

What do you think:
version 1
They lie when they say time heals all wounds.
Time lies

version 2
Time is no healer.
Time lies

Over to you - and I'm much obliged

They lie when they say time heals

Any good? Shorter. Says the same thing?

I can't quite grab hold of 'time lies'. I think time is more inclined to show us the truth, and if my mind can think that, others might do too.

I'll be interested to see how this develops!

I'm also very interested ....
btw. only the first line is the tagline. 'Time Lies' is the title

Yes, I see that it is the title but my mind might argue with it - but that could be a good thing as it means you have engaged me. Sorry, I shouldn't have commented on the title! It's succinct and that's good.

Sorry, I shouldn't have commented on the title! It's succinct and t..."

No, it's all good. Bring it on and thanks

I kinda like the first better than the second, but I'm not entirely convinced.

They lie when they say time heals

Or maybe

Time heals? Says who?

(I hope it's okay that I just stand back and watch you spitballing for a while....again, thank you and keep 'em coming)

Yes, Magnus, stand back and remember that we don't really know much about your book and only you, the author, can pick something that captures your work.

well, I wish I was further along as far as the blurb is concerned. It's very rudimentary at best at the moment. Here's what I've got:

‘Time Lies’ is a darkly comic, devious thriller set in the recent past and in a small village in the north of Germany (the village exists, but the story is fictional). A reluctant serial killer realises he has been murdering the wrong people. He is about to set the error right.

Love it!

But I'd leave out the explanation in brackets that the village exists. That's the sort of thing that can be introduced into our consciousness later. Also, take out the 'and' in the first sentence.

yeah, well, thank you!

Okay, so we've got:
'Time Lies’ is a darkly comic, devious thriller set in the recent past in a small village in the north of Germany. A reluctant serial killer realises he has been murdering the wrong people. He is about to set the error right.

In terms of the tagline, I'd like to avoid exclamation marks. Rhetorical questions are okay, of course...

Time Lies

Vengeance took a wrong turn. Now the bodies are piling up.

or

If time heals, it is a cruel surgeon

Just a guess as to your plot. I could be totally off here. Kinda hard to make a promise without knowing what's in store. I'd stay away from using the same words in your tagline as in your title, though, for metadata purposes.

I think my problem with what you've got here is that you're making two separate puns with the same topic: "Time flies" and "time heals all wounds". I'd either change the title to go with the healing idiom or change the tagline to go with the time flying metaphor.

Owen wrote: "Time Lies

Vengeance took a wrong turn. Now the bodies are piling up.

I like it a lot, actually, except that the story isn't really about vengeance. I'll elaborate below

I thank you already for all your hard work.
Here's the longer blurb. It might be too long.

Eschershausen, North Germany, 1982. The Cold War rages quietly in a divided country.
Karl wakes up in an unknown room. He is a captive. He remembers growing up in East Germany where he has informed on people and caused heartbreak.
The thing with Karl is, he chose to become prisoner in the room
Albert is the more popular of two identical twins. His life is perfect until disaster strikes and kills his young son and beautiful wife. Now he sits in a wheelchair and contemplates the ultimate Catholic sin: suicide
Dagmar was a foundling on the steps of the local church and has grown into a young woman with a ferocious appetite – and it’s not for food. She has also a innate talent for photography. One day she becomes Albert's clandestine lover
Tobias is the other twin, the also-ran. He never seems to get a break, but he tries to improve his lot. He impersonates Albert very successfully, takes a mistress on his brother’s behalf. He does less well when it comes to killing. It takes him years to work out who the real enemy is. But Tobias is a consequent man
Four people, four different stories. At one point they merge, obviously. Or maybe they merged years ago

Hi, so I was reading all the suggestions and I'm not sure if you are interested, but I have found a headline analyzer that I find works quiet well. I will attach the link here. I find it really makes me narrow things down....:)

http://www.aminstitute.com/headline/

thanks for that. It's fun. I could play for hours. The results are mixed. I tested the tag for Fault in our Stars (One sick love story) - 25 %
Girl on the Train (You don't know her but she knows you) - 37%
Gone Girl (There are two sides to every story) - 87%
I also tried pronouns without context - 'I you he she it we and' - 57%

But I don't know what it all means...

Sheri-Lynn wrote: "Hi, so I was reading all the suggestions and I'm not sure if you are interested, but I have found a headline analyzer that I find works quiet well. I will attach the link here. I find it really mak..."

the best I seem to be able to do is 37%:
You think it heals your wounds. Think again.
Time lies

Is that any better?

I seem to be getting warmer, at least as far as that headline analyzer is concerned. How about this for 60% (and it does make sense once you've read the book)

'Two plus one equals two
Time lies'

Magnus wrote: the best I seem to be able to do is 37%:
You think it heals your wounds. Think again.
Time lies

Is that any better?

Yes like that. More than 'Two plus one, etc.' even though that scores higher.

Anna wrote: "

Yes like that. More than 'Two plus one, etc.' even though that s..."

thanks for the feedback, Anna

Yes, the more you play with it, the more ideas I find come to me and it gets better, some worse, then you re do it and better again, lol!! I like that last one, lol

"Seven Two" is about firefighting like "Moby Dick" is about whaling.

Barry wrote: ""Seven Two" is about firefighting like "Moby Dick" is about whaling."

I'm afraid you lost me there, sir...

I really like version 1, and the blurb looks good too!

C.L. wrote: "I really like version 1, and the blurb looks good too!"

great, thanks.

Can I run another one by yous?
How about
Only the first killing was accidental.
Time Lies
?

What about something like:

Intentions can be a real killer.
Time Lies

or

This guy's got a killer motive.
Time Lies

@Mr Magnus: If you have your heart set on "Time Lies", I'd personally go with...

Time says it heals all wounds.
Time lies.

Just my free cents ^_^

Hugs,
Ann

I wouldn't repeat the title in the tag line. I'd go with "time is no healer." In combination with the title, it's a simple, catchy phrase.

Tim wrote: "I feel a need to get angry at time, so:

Time is a mother f****king c**k sucker!

It's provocative... :D"

We have a thread for that, Tim. Read and giggle.

https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

thank you all for your input. As always, for every contributer there are about one and a half opionions. All good.
So, merely the title of the book is 'Time Lies', or 'time lies' and there's the argument not to repeat either word in the tagline...

'Four people, four stories. Maybe they merged years ago.

time lies'
?

V.M. wrote: "Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds
"Time Lies"

Time Can't Heal Everything
"Time Lies"

Some Wounds Can't Be Healed
"Time Lies""

I really like the last one.

Alexis wrote: "

Some Wounds Can't Be Healed
"Time Lies""

I really like the last one."

me too - but does it sound like a thriller?

Tim wrote: "How about a play on words:

Time lies... in wait..."

Oh, I like that.
The idea was always to have a semantically ambiguous title where 'lies' could be a verb or a noun. So yes, me likes it...