Dangerous Hero Addict Support Group discussion

I agree Susan about Story of O. For me, personally, I can take very dark stuff, where bad things happen as long as the hero is not the one abusing the heroine. To me the hero has to be redemptive - which means he can be cold, seriously misguided etc, even a hitman/kidnapper who then falls for the heroine - but he cannot be flat out raping, beating the heroine. If that occurs then I simply cannot buy him as a 'hero'. I can love an anti hero but again there are lines. for example Barrons in the Fever series is pretty dark, but I absolutely love him. I can take dark if the hero is ultimately being that way to protect the heroine. Or if I buy their redemption, such as Zadist in the BDB. But I started to read one book, can't remember it's title, where the hero supposedly loves the heroine but regularly beats her (not BDSM type play, but flat out hitting her). Erm no, that's domestic violence, and a DNF from me. I read a lot of m/m too, and what's weird is I can read stuff in m/m that I couldn't take in m/f. I have read slave/captivity stories in m/m whereas in m/f they distress me. So I have double standards lol.