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I've been totally nervous about posting this, but I see how helpful you guys have been for other authors so I decided to just go for it. This is the blurb I've written for a romantic comedy I've written (yet to be published) called Forget You!

Please let me know how I can improve it!

Maggie McDaniels feels like the luckiest woman in the world. She’s engaged to a gorgeous, wealthy lawyer who also happens to be a great guy, and they're going to get hitched, have like a million babies together, and just generally live happily ever after. End of beautiful story.

Then Maggie faints just before it’s time to walk down the aisle.

When she wakes up in the hospital, she finds three years of her life have passed and she’s plum forgotten everything since her wedding day. And unfortunately, it turns out her life is quite as perfect as she imagined it would be—her career is circling the drain and her gorgeous, lawyer husband is… well, a gorgeous jerk. Then things only get more complicated when one of her colleagues, a rumpled academic in a wheelchair, appears at her bedside, claiming that he and Maggie have been more than friends...

Thanks for the help, Alex! I'm not certain it gives too much away since most of that happens by chapter 2 (out of like 40). What would you cut?

I agree with Alex that we need some more details about her circumstance during her hospitalization. If she is in a coma, it is pretty implied her career will be not great and life will have changed. Emphasis should be put on the elements that become major plot points.

True dat, Isaac! I meant to indicate that she's forgotten the last three years but I guess that wasn't clear.

Isaac, do you also agree about the length been too long? I hadn't thought it was too long, because it's 150 words, while I read most chick lit blurbs are 150-200 words. But maybe I'm wrong.

My comment is that the first paragraph seems like it could be about any story.....it needs to be more unique ....its a bit too general as it is

So she passes out at her wedding and wakes up (a few hours later?) with no memory of the past three years?

The length is not necessarily terrible, but every sentence (even every word) should be essential. I think Alex's shortened version is good, but ultimately something like length is entirely up to you.

She passes out at her wedding and wakes up what she thinks Is a few hours later, but is actually three years later. And she has no memory of the life she's lived those past three years.

I'm not sure how to say that clearly in about a sentence…

I appreciate all the advice, everyone!

Ah. okay, so she is still living out her life those three years, but then loses all memory following her fainting?

That's exactly right, Isaac.

All I have to say is, wow! This is practically the only romantic comedy I've ever had any interest in reading. It actually sounds awesome. Sure, simpler is better, and making sure it's clear the patient wasn't in a coma is good, but this just sounds like a really cool book.

Just wanted to be sure! I agree with the sentiment that the story is interesting, which is all the more reason it should be crystal clear to the reader. So maybe you could say something along the lines of:

Maggie's the luckiest woman in the world; she is rising up in her career and about to marry the man of her dreams and live happily ever after - until she faints before she can reach the altar.

When she wakes up in the hospital, she finds that three years have passed since her wedding day. What's more, during those three years, she continued living her life, but can't remember any of it! Insanity ensues as she finds that her perfect life is no longer so—her career is circling the drain, her gorgeous prince has become a gorgeous jerk, and her eccentric colleague claims they are far more than friends.
Will Maggie remember the three years she lost, or will she be doomed to have her past life forgotten forever?

Kept it long for you, so you can manage the "essential bits." It's just a suggestion.

Thanks again to everyone who helped!

I took everyone's advice to heart as well as one of my beta readers, so this is my revised version below. Better? Worse?

Maggie McDaniels feels like the luckiest woman in the world. She’s engaged to a gorgeous lawyer who also happens to be a great guy, and they're about to get hitched, have like a million babies together, and generally live happily ever after.

Then Maggie faints before she can reach the altar.

When she wakes up, it’s three years later and she’s forgotten everything since her wedding day. And it turns out her life isn’t quite as perfect as she imagined it would be—her career is circling the drain and her gorgeous husband is… well, a gorgeous jerk. Things only get more complicated when an eccentric colleague in a wheelchair claims that he and Maggie are far more than friends.

Will Maggie ever make sense of the mess her life has become? Or is she doomed to have her past forgotten forever?

Rohvannyn wrote: "All I have to say is, wow! This is practically the only romantic comedy I've ever had any interest in reading. It actually sounds awesome. Sure, simpler is better, and making sure it's clear the pa..."

That is such a nice thing to say! Thank you!

Well done! What I particularly appreciate is your ability to make it clear that this is a rom-com, when the situation could easily be misconstrued as a romantic drama or generally darker. You keep your blurb light-hearted without coming off as excessively farcical. All in all, very good.

Thanks!