SCPL Online NonFiction Book Club discussion

In the introduction to her book, Melody talks about the three types of people: the mobile, the stuck, and the rooted. The mobile are those who can pick up and leave at any time, the stuck are those who lack the opportunity to move, and the rooted are those who can leave but choose not to.

Which category do you think you fall into? Is it possible to be happy in all of them, or is one more likely to make you happier?

~Kathryn

I've experienced every category, but moving won the highest portion of time early on. Set on by some ambition.

Hi Judy! I wonder if we are more inclined to be movers when we are younger and prefer to be rooted when we are older? I am looking forward to hearing other people's thoughts!

~Kathryn

I’m a hardcore mobile mover. Now at least. For most of my twenties I was pretty stuck in that I couldn’t see that I had the opportunity to leave. Part of that was roots and not wanting to consider leaving but when I finally gave myself permission and sprouted wings I became very mobile. Since I left my hometown six and a half years ago I’ve lived formally at four different addresses in three cities, spent two summers in France, a semester in Georgia, USA, and couch surfed/stayed with friends for seven consecutive months. Next week I’m moving again into a place that I hope to get a bit rooted in however I currently only know a couple of people in that city (and none are family) so we’ll see how it goes. My mobile status means I am definitely enjoying this book.

Is it possible to be happy in all of them? Absolutely. Happiness is a choice. Often those who are stuck don’t know it and are very happy. I met some very stuck and some very rooted people when I was in Georgia and they were very happy. I also met some very mobile people who had a completely different world view and were just as happy. For myself, for now, being mobile works. Down the road I think I’ll crave being rooted. Hopefully I’ll never feel stuck again now that I know there is a different way.

Thanks for your comments Heidi! I love hearing people's moving experiences and how they shape their view of the book. It is very positive to think that whether you are mobile, stuck, or rooted, you can make the best of it.

Does anybody else see themselves as one of the three? Past or present?

~Kathryn

From 17 to 27 I was very mobile. I moved where opportunities took me and really enjoyed it. For 7 years I had a small business in Hawaii after about 5 years I was ready to move on but it took me 2 years to sell and move, it was a challenging time but I was still happy. Now I am very rooted and happy as well! I agree happiness is what you make it and yes you can be happy in all three.

It must have been quite an experience living in Hawaii! It always seems to be on people's dream list of places to live, but I wonder if the islanders are just as happy as the people everywhere else?

It reminds me a bit of a commercial I saw recently, where someone asks if people who live at the beach have pictures of offices on their computer desktops. I guess the grass is always greener, but maybe in Hawaii it actually is?

~Kathryn

As I've already mentioned, I've always been a "stayer", but I consider myself rooted rather than stuck.

I think the area I grew up in (Hamilton) had lots of opportunities nearby so maybe that has something to do with it? I could have easily gone away to any school of my choice, but my parents somewhat unexpectedly had another child when I was in middle school. Therefore, when the time came to consider going away, I chose to stay close to home and build the relationship with my 6 year old sister.

Then, when it came time to seek employment, I was able to find a good job close to home (St. Catharines). Now that I have a house and am about to get married, staying put and staying close to family seems like the best option...especially since it'll be very handy if we are lucky enough to start a family!

I agree with others that happiness is what you make it, but I think I'd be very unhappy if I felt stuck. I know some who have felt this way, whether for lack of resources or opportunity, and I think if you recognize you're stuck, it can be very frustrating!

Thanks for your comments Diana! I think maybe the lesson to take from the book and our discussion is, there is no "right" way to be happy. Some people never want to settle down, and are happiest moving from place to place. Some people never want to leave, and love that too. Hopefully, the people who are stuck can find a way to either love their town or find a new place. There are some great books out there about people who have packed up to "live the dream" with very little money at all (but that would be another book discussion for another month!)

~Kathryn