Our Shared Shelf discussion

There seem to be many, many misconceptions of feminism. Some people don't actually seem to know the definition of feminism. I have encountered and seen people who seem to believe that feminism is a movement where we hate men or that we ask for too much. Kellyanne Conway stated that she thinks that feminists hate men. Other people seem to think that feminism is not needed anymore. I have been told to my face that all feminists do is whine. Some people do not even realize that feminism is about choice, instead of more gender barriers and limitations. None of this is true or valid, and I wish people would take the time to understand what feminism really is and why our world stilll needs it. What misconceptions have some of you faced regarding gender equality and feminism?

Man-Haters is the main one. I'm not sure you can get past that with a lot of people because they don't WANT to hear otherwise.

Maybe we should not expend effort on these misogynist. Let them think what they want they are a minority of frightened men clinging to a system long past its time.

Equality works for everyone if they can't see that it is there problem. There are so fearful of being hated they should treat women better and stop complaining.

Misandry and/or female chauvanism.

A great misconception in general is that women must automatically care and factor in what men think when they do something. Society does not apply the same assumed condition on men.

Feminism is about equality for all does not mean it needs permission from anyone.

Again same here, "man haters". That is what I hear the most. They don't understand that just because the word feminine is associated with the word feminism that does not dictate that it is un-inclusive of men.

Feminism is "For" essentially the equal 50/50 inclusion (in all aspects of the world) of feminine and masculine entities. To where as when that is achieved the passive/aggressiveness of both sides will essentially or effectively cancel or nullify each other.

And I will probably be completely cut down for this post. lol.

Typically I hear it as also "man-haters", but also the lack of conformity to society. (i.e. not shaving, hairy armpits, ya know the strange things that do not really matter.) Let's face it, we all participate in periodical shaving in the winter, it is a waste at times. lol. I believe this is some sort of extremist, stereo typing classification. We can want equality and still shave our legs... It just seems weird to hear this associated with feminism.

Ultimately it is the concept of the 50/50 that Robert mentioned. I feel like that is important, but the minute some men are presented with a headstrong, opinionated woman we become rude, bitchy or @$$holes.

I have become indifferent to this, and as much as I feel that I should not be, it ultimately happens because I come to work to work, and get paid and go home, not debate with the men I work with about who I am and what I believe. Although sometimes... :) hehehehehe

Keep up the good work Cortney ;)

Ross wrote: "Keep up the good work Cortney ;)"

Awwwww! Thanks Ross! I enjoy picking/choosing what battles I "fight". It keeps the guys on their toes!

I met following main misconceptions/stereotypes:
- Feminism is about men-hating
- Feminism means that you should work, you aren't allowed to sit at home with children
- Feminism means that now every polite move (like offering you a seat, holding your coat, saying a compliment) should be met with a loud screaming: "SEXIST!!!"
- You should be a victim to become a feminist
- Feminism is for ugly girls who don't get male attention and want revenge
- Feminism means that you're no longer allowed to look and behave in a sexy way

I'd say that misconceptions are a real problem because, on the one hand, they make men reacting badly, on the other -- they make women saying that "you're not a proper feminist!"

Robert, how about the idea that the feminine and masculine can also compliment, and complete as well as possibly nullifying or canceling?

Ross wrote: "A great misconception in general is that women must automatically care and factor in what men think when they do something. Society does not apply the same assumed condition on men.

Feminism is a..."

Yes! Women should not have to always worry about what men will think before they make decisions.

Cortney wrote: "Typically I hear it as also "man-haters", but also the lack of conformity to society. (i.e. not shaving, hairy armpits, ya know the strange things that do not really matter.) Let's face it, we all ..."

Yes! There definitely seems to be a conception that feminists are 'hippie' types of people. Feminism is simply about choice and ending limitations.

Anna wrote: "I met following main misconceptions/stereotypes:
- Feminism is about men-hating
- Feminism means that you should work, you aren't allowed to sit at home with children
- Feminism means that now ever..."

These are great examples! Some people see feminism as another barrier for women, when in reality it is a movement promoting choices, which allow women to act and behave however they please without gender limitations.

Anna, I couldn't have said it better myself.

I just wish there were not so many misconceptions. If people truly understood feminism and why it is needed, there would be more people supporting feminism and gender equality.

It seems that all these misconceptions about feminism are just stereotyping/labelling. Like you have to be something just to be a feminist or you have to do something. When really, feminism is about freedom and equality, which includes not labelling someone as something just because they do/or are something.
I know this sounds weird but I don't know how else to phrase it.

To me, the saddest misconception about feminism I hear/see is the exclusion of LGBTQIA people in the conversation. As in "Trans women can't be feminists" or "Gay men can't be feminists."

This exclusion is an egregious error. And it's wrong, to boot.

Karen wrote: "To me, the saddest misconception about feminism I hear/see is the exclusion of LGBTQIA people in the conversation. As in "Trans women can't be feminists" or "Gay men can't be feminists."

This exc..."


Wow! really? I mean if women can be feminists and men can be feminists why can't trans-gender? This whole thing just blows my mind. Why can't we just believe in the things that we whole heartedly want to believe in. I can not grasp why only some people can have opinions and not others.

Keith wrote: ".My cousin’s son, whilst at school, was accused of sexism. His crime? - To hold open a swing door for a girl carrying books, so that she could pass through. If this had been the end of the story, it is no more than an annoyance. Unfortunately, what I can only describe as a zealous teacher decided that this justified commencing action to have him excluded from school. "

That is just utterly ridiculous. Im baffled how anyone would see that as sexist. Yes, its a great idea to punish young men for acting like gentlemen.

/sarcasm

Honestly one of the many misconceptions with feminism is stereotypes. I was told by an old friend who was female that feminism was stupid and not needed. That it was just a "phase" I was going through when I got interesting in learning the history of the women's rights movement. To this I can say being a teenage feminist is hard I get labeled as opinionated,confused, or a male hater. Which is frustrating when feminism is about gender equality, not hate its about fixing issues and standing together in the fight for equality. Feminism is still needed because to know my voice will be heard brings me hope,for change and for the next generation of girls I hope they will feel the same no matter what society or others try to label them as.

I can't believe it either, but it definitely happens.

Some women like the old system of behavior others do not. So treat them as equals and ask before doing something for someone.

Also hold some doors open for men and offer to carry there books. Respect the individual you won't go far wrong.

Keith wrote: "My cousin’s son, whilst at school, was accused of sexism"

It's so unbelievable. I'd never suppose that this kind of misconception can raise to this level. That's awful. And you're right now there are men who're simply afraid to help women, these consequences do exist.

In my experience, usually, such acquisitions come with an argument that what, do you suppose that women are so weak that they can't do *....* by themselves? But, it doesn't hold even basic sanity check. First of all, nobody thinks that a woman is unable to hold the door by herself, it's ridiculous. Second, in a similar situation, I'd hold the door for anyone, no matter if it's man or woman. I mean, where will this world go if people stop helping each other?

I think such misunderstandings appeared because the movement is relatively new. We want equal treatment but sometimes it's hard to understand where the borders are. People see that gender makes difference but they're not sure when it's alright (e.g. biology), when men should have smaller rights (e.g. rape culture), when women should get more rights (e.g. voting) and when women should get more obligations (e.g. women can't demand every male to pay for her by default anymore). So it's alright that we haven't come to a clear answer for everything yet, the theme is extremely complicated but it's crazy that we still haven't overcome such basic things. It makes me afraid of how long the whole path can take.

Keith wrote: "Anna wrote: "I met following main misconceptions/stereotypes:
- Feminism is about men-hating
- Feminism means that you should work, you aren't allowed to sit at home with children
- Feminism means ..."
Wow! What happened to your cousin's son sounds ridiculous. Yes, sexism happens to both the male and female genders. We seem to have these ridiculous limitations for both genders that need to be ended. This is why we need feminism.

Megan wrote: "It seems that all these misconceptions about feminism are just stereotyping/labelling. Like you have to be something just to be a feminist or you have to do something. When really, feminism is abou..."

Yeah, people who do not understand feminism seem to think that feminists now have to 'act' a certain way. They seem to think that feminists have to fit in a new mold of stereotypes.

Karen wrote: "To me, the saddest misconception about feminism I hear/see is the exclusion of LGBTQIA people in the conversation. As in "Trans women can't be feminists" or "Gay men can't be feminists."

This exc..."

Yes! Anyone should be able to be a feminist!

James wrote: "Keith wrote: ".My cousin’s son, whilst at school, was accused of sexism. His crime? - To hold open a swing door for a girl carrying books, so that she could pass through. If this had been the end o..."

Yeah, there seem to be a lot of ridiculous stereotypes for the male gender as well.

Samantha wrote: "Honestly one of the many misconceptions with feminism is stereotypes. I was told by an old friend who was female that feminism was stupid and not needed. That it was just a "phase" I was going thro..."

Hi! I have been told the same thing- which is that feminism is stupid. I was also told that feminists are sooooo annoying. This just shows me how ignorant some people can be regarding feminism and gender equality. Clearly, they do not understand what it is about.

Many people say feminism is a female word and only for women. But actually everyone can be a feminist. If we're believe in gender equality , we're a Feminist! (whatever you define yourself)
And please see my last topic about "10 things you're wrong about feminism"

Amanda wrote: "This just shows me how ignorant some people can be regarding feminism and gender equality"

I'm sorry if I misunderstood you, but it doesn't sound fair to me to call arrogant everybody who disagrees with you. Sure there are a lot of people who are against the equality. But also there are a lot of adequate people who truly don't understand what's the problem right now. And there are a lot of people who had a negative experience with people calling themselves feminists. Look at the story told by Keith. If after being almost expelled from school for being polite he would start treating to feminism more suspicious would you judge him? Would you judge anybody for being sceptical to the feminism after this loud story with Emma Watson so-called "anti-feminist" pictures? How many such stories are there? Society needs so much more positive examples of feminism to start treating it normally. Bad reputation and misconceptions didn't come out of nowhere, unfortunately, it's a result of the actions of both sides.

Anna wrote: "Amanda wrote: "This just shows me how ignorant some people can be regarding feminism and gender equality"

I'm sorry if I misunderstood you, but it doesn't sound fair to me to call arrogant everybo..."

Hi Anna! I think you did misunderstand me. All I said is that I find people to be ignorant, not arrogant as you said, who complain or say bad things about feminism. Many people do not understand what the point of feminism is. This, misunderstanding of feminism, is ignorance, which can be fixed! It is just unfortunate that so many people are ignorant and do not understand the true concepts of feminism. For anyone that thinks that Emma Watson's Vogue pictures are "anti feminist", I may start to think that they do not understand what feminism is. We, as feminists, should not be going against our key principles and beating other women for their choices. Then, we are just setting more limitations. Feminism is about choice and letting women and men have the freedom to make their own decisions without the wrath other people's judgement. So, maybe I would not personally want to do a photo shoot where I show areas of my body, but it was her choice and that empowers Watson more for being brave enough to show herself in a new light!

The most common I hear is the claim women want "special treatment". This fallacy obviously overlooks the fact women-related issues aren't some special event to us, but the very existence of our lives. I've also heard this extended to other groups, where women claiming they are feminist state African-Americans, Native Americans, LGBT+, etc are wanting special treatment in feminism when intersectionality comes into play.

I think people don't stop to consider that equality doesn't mean replacement, but making room for that which isn't yourself.

*that which is not yourself.

Toddler climbing on me, sorry.

Carolina wrote: "The most common I hear is the claim women want "special treatment". This fallacy obviously overlooks the fact women-related issues aren't some special event to us, but the very existence of our liv..."

Yes! This claim of 'special treatment' I have heard for many movements including the feminist movement. Wanting equality is not wanting special treatment.

Carolina wrote: "*that which is not yourself.

Toddler climbing on me, sorry."

Ha ha

Anna wrote: "Society needs so much more positive examples of feminism to start treating it normally. ."

This^

So much Yes.

Keith wrote: "Anna wrote: "Society needs so much more positive examples of feminism to start treating it normally. Bad reputation and misconceptions didn't come out of nowhere, unfortunately, it's a result of th..."

Yeah, often it seems that the only stories people hear are the bad ones.

Adetiya wrote: "Many people say feminism is a female word and only for women. But actually everyone can be a feminist. If we're believe in gender equality , we're a Feminist! (whatever you define yourself)
And pl..."

Yeah, this seems to be a common misconception. Feminism is for everyone and feminism is about gender equality! I will check out your discussion!