Blazing Readers & Wordy Writers discussion

I noticed that people like to give/receive feedback on poetry, but that can get a bit cluttered in the threads. As a result, here you can comment on the poetry written!

Okie dokie! Here goes: Masi!

I just finished your latest three poems. May I say that The Chant of the Roses, while short, was kind of enchanting. I do hope you choose to expand on it and develop the idea a little more.

Now, The Blue Moonlight Dream was BEAUTIFUL! I think it's your best one yet. I enjoyed it very much. It had a steady rhythm and it left a wanting feeling. The setting was abstract but so close that I felt like I could almost touch it. It left me feeling wispy. I very much enjoyed this piece!

And on to Artful Dodger!

OH. My goodness. So the first (untitled?) poem blew me away! It felt ancient and soaked in rich culture. It was beautiful! I'd hang that one on my wall!! It had a rhythm and enchanting visuals. I LOVED this piece!

Stars and Scars: Oops, there's a boo boo in stanza 1! "Too many to count." You've created an interesting meter. The rhythm carries on and then the ending (last line of each stanza) is very abrupt. It creates a chipped air to the piece, a halting feeling but without completely disrupting the reader.

Paper Promises: Okay, wow! Again, I truly enjoyed this one. The premise gets you right in the heart. I love the imagery of the ashes and the analogy. Wow!

Untitled again? (Gonna just call it Piano Guys cause that's totally what came to mind when reading!) You've obviously got a good grip on your poetry. You know how to manipulate the words to create rhythmic phrases and specific images for your reader. I thought this one was also very well done.

The Boy With the Brown Hair: Can I just buy your poetry book now? Cause this one nearly made me cry. It was so simple in it's reference to the boy, but sooo profound with the storyline. I envisioned a fair and a boy kidnapped among the chaos, never to be found again, having lived out a tragic, abused life. Tears, man. Tears.

And, I think I'll break here and come back cause you have like a bajillion poems posted, which is awesome, but at this rate, I'll be here all day and I need to do a few other things too! I'll be back though!

Masi: Your deserted world was a nice addition to your collection! I like the way you structured it and tied everything together there at the end.

The short, untitled piece after that was a quick, fun read. Well-done!

This one has an interesting rhythm. I wouldn't say it was one of my favorites of yours, but it's not poorly-written either.

This poem felt...very self-depreciating. It made me sad and curious. I very, very much liked the last two lines though! Now, that's poetry! ;-)

Raevyn: Abecedarian Poem: Wow. Just wow. This was so heartfelt. I absolutely love this poem. I would hang this one on my wall. The loss, the waiting, the yearning. It was all crystal clear to me. It even reminded me a little bit of your message in a bottle.

Prism: Mmm. I liked this one too. It speaks from experience. The colors were artfully woven in and the "story" was vague, but not in such a way as to detract from the poem. It felt...like it would have been invasive to pry any further. It was secluded and private in a revered manner.

They Don't Speak For Us: Okay...gonna try not to tear up here. My brother is autistic and I felt the strength in this from the first few lines. "They compare us to a missing piece/In a jigsaw puzzle." hit me particularly hard. I know just how beautiful and brilliant he is and I'm slowly getting to see the same in you here. Being different doesn't mean you're stupid or somehow less. The majority of people fear what they don't understand and you're completely right. There is no reason to call the differences broken.

They Told Me: Ough, girl! I LOVE your imagery!!! "Making seams of molten gold." and "Now I'm proud to be red in a sea of blue." Chills, girl. Chills!!!

Untitled Hymn #1: Amen. May I just hire you to decorate my walls?

Fear Itself: I really like how you split this into three sections. The structure had an appealing affect that way. Also, I'd like to speak into some of what you mentioned, if I may. First of all, God has not given us a spirit of fear (2 Tim.). That said, it doesn't mean we don't fear. Just that we need not. Know that He is always with us, even when it feels like He isn't. Secondly, "I wish I could stop comparing my gifts and theirs." Please, please know that you are an individual. A beautiful masterpiece of the perfect Creator, God. He has given you so many wonderful gifts and they were never meant to be compared to the gifts of others. And lastly, your quip about high school. There are very few people from hs that I've kept up with. It may be different for you; it may be the same. But either way, know that-though it is a bittersweet and upsetting thought-sometimes it isn't a bad thing to move on. :-) I've kept up with the important relationships from hs, but I've also weeded out the unimportant ones to make room for the new ones I've made since then.

Remembering Them: *shudders* What a thought.

Thank you, Raevyn, for sharing a small, beautiful part of yourself here with us.

I haven't forgotten you, Artful! You're next!!

Coralie wrote: "Raevyn: Abecedarian Poem: Wow. Just wow. This was so heartfelt. I absolutely love this poem. I would hang this one on my wall. The loss, the waiting, the yearning. It was all crystal clear to me. I..."

Thank you so much. :)

Artful: Eternity has almost a musical ring to it. I like this one because it's simple, but elegant.

Artful Dodger: (Sorry it's taken this long to get back around to you. Believe me I wanted to do it when I could savor the poems and provide actual feedback, not in a rush.)

State of Mind: My dear Lord!! The beginning of this had such a magnificent rhythm and a delicate rhyme that it just made me smile. I felt the tension stir inside of me and almost felt like I was swirling down a drain for a moment. I absolutely loved this piece! Definitely one of my favorites. The only thing that stood out to me and tore me from your momentum was "blue." My brain wanted to read "hue," instead, but of course, that is completely a matter of personal preference. Wall-worthy!

White Wolf: The chanting did not detract from the poem as I might have expected it to normally. In my mind the white wolf could have been so many things, which I think makes this poem relatable to a wide audience.

Evanstar's Song, the Prequel: This was dreary and dark! Initially, I felt like I was in LOTR and I saw Arwen and Aragorn in my mind's eye. (Heh, see what I did there? XD) Then that image came to an abrupt halt with "locker." He he! There were two lines in particular that hit hard for me: "The tears have left their trace." and "by the indigo sky." Ugh, man, indigo sky. That's just beautiful! And then it ended all gloomy again. :-/

Evanstar's Song: Mm, I think I liked this one much more than the prequel overall. The first two stanzas, specifically, were very well-written. You have a good grasp on rhythm in poetry/songwriting, which is a difficult thing to teach and to learn, I think. I very much liked the structure and the parallels in this one. Still made me think of a fantasy land.

Middle Village: Not my favorite, but not poorly written by any means. I wonder what the middle village is meant to be?

So Tired: WHAT?! That ending?!! BAM in yo face! I'm not quite sure what to make of this one. It's compelling, for sure. The short lines make the tension tangible in the reader. I had Jesse Owen vibes at first, then the second stanza threw me and I was just hooked wondering where it would end.

The Last Goodbye: ...O_o...tears...The title made me pause, but...wow...speechless. The raw grief and...and despair. I felt the strong love wrap its arms around me, trying to comfort me, but...oh! Wow...Definitely wall-worthy. Yikes!!! Made me think of the children's book of the mother who crawled in to tell her son she loved him every night. Mm, I'll have to look that up now.

Sands of Time: Ooh, this is an interesting concept. Sand quenching thirst. Sounds...oxymoronic, but you made it work. Ough, and I loved the "embers." Vivid image there. OOOHH! So after the (view spoiler)[River of Time (hide spoiler)], I swear the poem went up a level for me. The whole end of it was...much more enticing and thrilling than the beginning for me.

the Artful Dodger {~Like a Rose, Trampled on the Ground...~} wrote: "To Coralie: Your poems have sort of a haunting, choking aspect to them, something that makes me want to cry, almost, without knowing exactly why, almost nostalgic way of looking at life, and it giv..."

Wow...thank you so much for the amazing feedback. Those are...very kind words. I'm blown away. :'-)

Artful Dodger (cont.):

Walk Away: Ooh, man, that third stanza was potent! Loved that. Mm, it is a sobering poem. I don't know why you've written it--and truly it's not my business--but I can connect to it more strongly now than ever in my life before. Coward's Run was my poem dedicated to this idea. Though, the theme is much stronger and more visible in yours. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing this poem.

Born Evil: Ugh, dude right off the bat you've sucked me in. I love your handle on rhythm and rhyme! You make it artful, no pun intended, and my rhymes always feel so cheesy. Mmm, I thought your formatting for this was quite unique. I like how you used the bold and italics to emphasize certain themes.

Empty Bus Ride: This one was unique, especially in its perspective. I enjoyed reading this one very much. This is the kind of poem I'd like to read over several times and I feel like I would get something new out of it each time. I do think I may have found one boo-boo, though: fourth stanza, last line, should that be "weren't" instead of "wasn't" because "words" is plural?

Fleeting Encounters: This almost feels like the counterpart to the previous poem, the opposing perspective. But not of the same rider, of course, or even the same ride for that matter. But they are similar, though this one feels more aggressive in some parts. I think the last five stanzas were my favorite. I liked seeing the differences in each of the passengers.

Walk Without an Umbrella: You have such a vivid grasp on very specific settings and incidents. I like that about your writing. This one felt more light-hearted than some of your others. I enjoyed this one, but then, I'm a bit of a rain/storm-bug. I liked the simplicity of this one. I could feel the wet and chill of the wind. And I especially liked the last line. The second line in the last stanza stuck out of the rhythm and pulled me out of the story a bit. I think you may want to look at those first two lines of the last stanza. They seem to overlap unnecessarily with "gave" and "at." I don't know. I can't quite put my finger on it.

Artful Dodger (cont.):

Rainy Drive: I am utterly in love with thunderstorms and rain. I just love them. Can't get enough. So this poem spoke to the rainy bug in me! I liked the reiteration of "Raindrops rolling down the glass window." The imagery in this was also quite vivid. Lovely addition to your collection!

Termination: Mm, again, not my favorite, but well-written nevertheless.

Weary Roads: Though I don't know the tune you've referenced, I don't think the musicality of this piece was lost on me by any means. My favorites, in particular, were the first two lines of most of the stanzas. The rhythm and rhyme are just so darn...tantalizing! You have an enchanting way about your poetry.

Raevyn:

Treefort: L.O.V.E. LOVE! This was absolutely stunning. Very well done!!!

School--Let Me Out: I've been there and definitely done that! I know just how this feels!

Between Two Worlds:
Wired one way.
Tired all day.
Can't take the looks.
I'll stick to my books.

No man can sway
What my God can say.
He reigns my heart.
That's a pretty good start.

Okay, not sure where that came from. Guess that's my answer to your poem. :-)

Thanks. :D
(I don't know what else to say, but your feedback means a lot to me)

Masi:

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder: I liked this one. It had a jaunty little feel to its rhythm. And, it's so true. :-) I think there may have been a typo or two though. In the second stanza, third line, did you mean "you're"? And in the last line, did you mean "in my eyes"?

Ode to a Loved One: This was a beautiful poem. The feelings pulsed through my veins. I especially LOVED this line: "Who yearned to heal your shattered soul." Beautiful beautiful! I like the concept and the idea behind this poem and the ending was sweet and fitting.

Boy, you're cranking out these poems! Go, Masi, Go!
I'll start back with One Day My Soul Just Opened Up next time.

Catherine: I'm not quite sure where I left off with you, so if I skip one on accident, please let me know!

The Rebellion: Oh, I do like this one. The rhythm is a little bumpy in some places, but the poem overall is very well-done in my opinion. You have some great moments that bring out the call to duty!

We Will Survive: This may be one of my favorites of yours. It's solemn and determined, persistent and...subtle. I enjoyed reading this one very much. I especially liked the second-to-last stanza. Very profound. Wall-worthy!!!

A salute: Amen and amen! The structure of this was brilliant. I loved the time-oriented parallels and I couldn't agree more with your message and your words. Well-done!!!

Coralie wrote: "Catherine: I'm not quite sure where I left off with you, so if I skip one on accident, please let me know!

The Rebellion: Oh, I do like this one. The rhythm is a little bumpy in some places, but t..."

Thank you :) I think you've pretty much done them all by now!

the Artful Dodger {~Like a Rose, Trampled on the Ground...~} wrote: "Okay, Coralie. Here goes:

Chasing the Sunset: Beautiful and haunting, I love how you repeat the words. I can just see the image in my head, and the way you weave Time throughout it is beautiful. D..."

Wow! Thank you!! To answer your question about A Child Again, it was written about dementia and Alzheimer's. My grandmother had it before she died. Hah, some of these are really old poems like A Child Again. Hopefully, I've grown as a writer! Coward's Run and Chasing the Sunset are newer.

Artful: (First of all, thank you so much for the continued feedback!! You are a rockstar and make me want to post more!)

Yesterday: (BEATLES SONG IS AWESOME!) Whew...okay, man, your imagery in the first two stanzas was literally breathtaking. That was gorgeous. The diction was just...wow...so pretty!

Like a Good Kid: Well...that certainly took a turn that I wasn't expecting...O_o...Hmm, well I think your repetition was very effective. Again, you painted a very specific image. I really liked how you changed the chorus ever so slightly each time.

Never Mind: Interesting piece. The repetition was also effective here. These both felt...angry and upset, and a little depressing too.

The Evil Puppeteer: (Hmm...do I really want to read this? I'm already scared! XD) Ooh, the twelve is a clock! I get it! Sorry...that was kind of neat. I think my favorite part was the first stanza. The rhyming was phenomenal there.

A Figment of the Imagination: This one felt so...desolate...so deserted and empty. It was wispy and I felt like I was floating. The Ferris wheel brought just enough of a tangible setting to ground me momentarily, but then I felt like I was drifting again. I kind of liked it. :-)

(I'm going to stop here cause I think I'm distracted. My sister is playing music and I can't really read, think, and respond properly.)

It's hard to keep up with Dodger! Sooo many awesome poems to review!!

It definitely helps us grow when you share, but I totally get being so busy. :-) I'm honestly just glad to know that people actually read any of my writing! I mean, if no one wanted to read it, that'd be a big sign that maybe I was on the wrong track!! XD

Catherine, I love you're new poem Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!! It was beautiful!

I have some poetry here too I believe I put it up after this was put out.

Anna's poetry: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...

Coralie wrote: "Catherine, I love you're new poem Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!! It was beautiful!"

Thank you! ^.^

Anna wrote: "I have some poetry here too I believe I put it up after this was put out.

Anna's poetry: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/..."

Oops! Let me add that!

Melissa needs a thread too! :-)

Coralie wrote: "Melissa needs a thread too! :-)"

Oh, yes!

I don't consider anyone's genuine feedback rude, so long as it comes from the heart and isn't intentionally malicious, which I don't think Masi would ever do! :-)

Coralie (This is practically all praise but I really just love your poems):

Chasing the Sunset The rhythm/meter were fabulous on this one! I also love the title.

Heartstone You really are impressively good with keeping a steady rhythm in your poems. The concept in this one was also great.

My First Love...Because of You The story is my favorite part of this one. I did feel like the rhyme was a bit weird. Since I believe there is no intentional rhyme here, it sounded weird and it was a bit random when it did rhyme.

Coward's Run There were some clever rhymes in this one and I enjoyed it. It's a bit odd how you have some longer lines in the start and then shorter ones in the end, but they are very poetic longer lines.

My Words I love this one! I felt the pain and anguish communicated subtly and clearly at the same time. One of my favorites.

A Child Again When you mentioned a trial here, I almost gasped out loud. Again, felt the emotions!

A Wind in the Door Beautiful descriptions here.

Civility The fairy tale theme was fun here, and I laughed out loud at "Put me on a pedestal and I'll knock your teeth in!"

Autumn Breath I got autumn vibes from the poem, but the title still felt a bit weird to me.

I'll Never Do a Debt Free Scream I've heard a little Dave Ramsey, so the poem made some sense. It was quite fun!

Angels in the Creases of the Clouds You broke the lines just at the right places for this free verse, something I have trouble doing in this type of free verse. I may have made the title more vague, something that leaves unanswered questions to discover when you read on like "In the Creases of the Clouds." I might have.

You have many poems, so I can't finish today, but I will try to some other time.

I really love ALL of them! From EVERYONE!

Masi: And, a few more for you!

One Day My Soul: There's definitely a bit of imagery here that I like. It has a somewhat rocking kind of undertone and rhythm. There were a few grammatical inconsistencies, but not many.

So sorry. I'll have to continue this tomorrow!

Okay, Masi:

Fallen in a River: Can't say this was one of my favorites. I love the title; I guess I just didn't expect it to go where you took it.

A Zombie: Ooh, see, now this one was the opposite of last one; I didn't expect to like this one (not a zombie fan), but you had some really good lines in this one! I especially liked "Death with never accept..." Two lines after that, though, should be "die" not "died." ;-) Still pretty disturbing over all.

Short Untitleds: the first one was catchy! The second left me wanting more. It had a mystical air about it. And the third seemed more like the beginning of a longer work.

Wanting to See that Smile: This one seemed sweet. I like the more uplifting poems, as I'm sure you can tell.

We Might Fall: Mm, this one felt like there were two different strands of thought going on. One far deeper and one more...allegorical...Somewhat confusing in the beginning and middle, but an interesting addition to your collection nonetheless.

Garbage: I can't say I cared for this one. While creative and pretty well-written, I just don't agree with the message at all. I believe every person has value and worth. That said, I think it is one of your better written pieces and I very much liked the rocks in a valley of diamonds line.

The Green Gruesome Goblins: Okay, now I actually really really liked this one! It was short, sweet, and to the point, but it held a fire and fight that made me imagine I could see a spark in your eye.

No Tears: Whoops, I think that there may be a boo boo, third line We instead of Why? Mm, this one felt numbing in a way, burying the pain deep within.

Hiaku: I've always had trouble with hiakus, but this one was well-done! I think you did a splendid job with it. It's dreary by the last line, but beautiful nonetheless.

Untitled (Speak for Us?): Ooh ooh ooh, boo boo first line! Your first "to" should be "too" :-) Sorry, grammar Nazi. Third line too! Same thing! And second line from the end, "top" should be "too" typo. Fourth line from the end, "took" should be "taken." Also, same line, I think you meant to put a "had" after "could've." Whew, okay, other than the grammar in this one, I like the call to arms. It's inspiring.

No More Secrets: An interesting piece. There was a little confusion with the fourth line. Not quite sure what you meant there. But I liked how you played with the format, regular line, italic line, regular line, etc. It made the contradictions that were there stand out even more.

Bad Hiaku: Mmm...not a fav, but again, not a huge fan of hiakus.

Untitled Daisies: Okay, first of all, I love this one! It's beautiful. Secondly, the last three lines "is" should still be "are." I'd hang that one on my wall! I love flowers and I love what you did to each of them here!

Ode to Rain: He hee, side note, I have my own poem titled the same! I'll have to dig it up and post it. I absolutely loved your opening! Rain and I, we have a special connection. XD

Ode to Butterflies: This one felt a little disjointed. Some bits didn't make sense to me. I read extra words (ex. first line "and") and I guess I didn't feel like you captured the true beauty of butterflies as much as you focused on their potential and change. It felt more practical than I was expecting.

Never Enough: "Can't do nothing" is a double negative and translates to "can do something." Just FYI. This poem is so depressing. It must have come from a very lonely place. I'd hate to live in a world where I felt this way about myself.

Acrostic: Cute! You should expand.

Untitled (All Want Me to Express): Oooh, I like this one!!! It was solid. Your rhythm was spot on! It drew me in and made me want more! I especially enjoyed the second stanza.

Jungle Fever: Ah! You're rhyming made me smile. :-) This one was fun! I very much enjoyed it. You're poetry is improving!

Dodger: First of all, thanks for the feedback, as always! I love hearing what you have to say!

Tragedy: The meter was a little weird for this one. It wasn't difficult to follow, but it didn't have the same rhythmic rocking that a lot of your poems do.

Autumn Leaves: Yay!!! Okay, loved this one! I could feel caught up in the wind, and I could see the leaves swirling and racing in it!

Abyss: Mmm, this one was neat. I really liked how you tied everything together with the last stanza. I definitely think this is towards the top of the list for me. The imagery was crisp, but the poem was still left open to interpretation to a certain degree.

March of Fury: You've really got a good grip on repetition. You use it to your advantage.

Falling Forever: That last stanza kinda jerked me out of the pace you'd set previously. The rhythm returns! Not a fav, but well-done indeed.

Ghost: I liked this one! It shone a light into the briefest glimpse of what could have been a much larger story.

When the Trees Sleep: First off, the title is intriguing. An interesting concept already. Oooh, goosebumps. The poem did not disappoint. I'd hang this one on my wall! Wow. I got chills from that one.

And I shall start with Wings next go round! Thanks for sharing!!

Sarina: I really enjoyed your poetry. I can see that you put your feelings to paper. I can't wait to read more!

Coralie:
I really enjoyed reading your poetry. I loved how you made the rhymes flow, and even the ones that didn't rhyme still had a great flow. You are very skilled at endstop and enjambment.
In My first love... because of you in the second stanza I believe you mean below, not bellow.

My favorite poem was I shed my tears.

the Artful Dodger ~{You either die a Hero...or you live long enough to see yourself become...the Villain}~ wrote: "All right, Anna. Don't guarantee I'll get through your list tonight, or that I'll post long reviews, but let's start.

What You Don't See - Like this one. Always liked the idea of hiding behind mas..."

Thanks so much for reviewing my work! I try to write some happy things too, but mostly they stay sad. I appreciate that you took the time to look at my work.

I am woefully behind!! Ahh! Here's a mad dash to get a little bit more done! :-)

Dodger! He he, I'm glad you like My Sisters' Fate! I'm still working on the story behind it. But this was meant to be a prophesy of sorts to go along with the story, if that helps any.

Tragedy: You continue to amaze me with your form! It's an art all in and of itself. I particularly enjoyed reading the last stanza. But all through the poem I kept wanting to see "are" instead of "of."

Autumn Leaves: ...I feel like I've read this one before. (I love it!! Don't get me wrong, but starting to wonder if I picked back up in the wrong place...XD) Yup!! Sure did! Let me fix that now, but I'll leave the double feedback for you anyway.

Wings! Ah, here we go: OOH! The personification in those first two lines...whoa...just blew me away! Whoosh! Oh, mygosh. So, this easily skyrocketed to the top of the favorites. I want to frame it and put it on my wall. I mean, wow. The personification in that was just powerful. I did quite enjoy the beginning more than the end, and the rain and darkness were the most potent to me, but yikes! That was amazing.

Untitled (quite sunny): He hee! This one was cute! It was very lighthearted and I very much enjoyed the mathematical insertions! (I think I may have found a typo, though in this stanza: "Ian jumped up,
Barring the door,
The looked at the ground,"
Did you mean "then"?)
It was certainly reminiscent of Dr. Suess. Wonderful job of that!

Untitled (library): Mmm, to be perfectly honest, I struggled to keep up with this one. I think most of it went over my head...but I relished the idea of sipping tea in an old library for some reason. It had a lovely setting, but I couldn't follow with the tv and partners and wooden hands...

Fantasizing: Ooohooohooo! I reaaaaallly liked this one. A lot. It was mesmerizing and beautiful. I loved the rhythm you created. It felt right. And the topic itself wasn't where I thought you were gonna go based on the title, but it still made me smile. A favorite! Simple, but so elegant. Wall-worthy!

Graveyard Dreams: This didn't feel as dark as some of your others, which I liked. I liked the...the peacefulness and calm that it radiated. Acceptance and even contentment.

Writer's Blood: I know I've read this one before, but not here I don't think. Are you on Fictionpress? I don't know where I've read this before, but I adore it! It's one of my favorites for sure. I love the imagery, the metaphor. It's so accurate and well-written. I...I can't recall where I've seen this before...

Factory of Souls: An interesting addition. Can't say it's a favorite, but I did enjoy it.

Pictures of Gray: Huh, I liked this one. It made me think. I'm gonna have to come back and reread it to get a new perspective on it.

Ghost of Times Past: Ooh, Train of Souls. That sounds interesting, a picture to paint for sure. Hmm...Fog out in the streets. Gosh, you just paint such vivid pictures with your words. I love, love the way you write these images! Oh, my goodness! The patch of shattered glass lying within the bright green grass!!! Ah! The detail!!! Ooooh...those last two lines. Chilling. Absolutely chilling. Wow.

Epic: Man, this one rattled down to my bones! That's a battle cry right there! I've been there. I know exactly how that feels.

Dreamin': Hmm, this one felt dreamy. Like I was sitting on the grass under the shad of a tree on a sunny day staring at the clouds with my hands behind my head.

Anna wrote: "the Artful Dodger ~{You either die a Hero...or you live long enough to see yourself become...the Villain}~ wrote: "All right, Anna. Don't guarantee I'll get through your list tonight, or that I'll ..."

Thank you, Anna, for the feedback! I look forward to reading and reviewing some of your poetry! (And thanks for that great catch!)

Hi Coralie! I really want to give feedback on more of your poetry and I'll try, but I really don't have much to say. Your poems are all brilliant.

If you are planning on reviewing more of my poetry, I believe the last one you gave feedback on was Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow, message 17. I've only written seven since that, so there aren't many if you do plan on reviewing more of mine. Of course, there's no need to review it and there's no rush.

Catherine wrote: "Hi Coralie! I really want to give feedback on more of your poetry and I'll try, but I really don't have much to say. Your poems are all brilliant.

If you are planning on reviewing more of my poet..."

Yay! I was just going on to you and looking for where I left off!!! XD Thanks!

And thank you for your feedback! I love hearing what you have to say!

Coralie wrote: "Catherine wrote: "Hi Coralie! I really want to give feedback on more of your poetry and I'll try, but I really don't have much to say. Your poems are all brilliant.

If you are planning on reviewi..."

You're welcome ^.^

uh, Cathrine, you broke Cora...

heehee, but I have to agree, Bird of the storm, AMAZING!

Catherine:

Looking in that Mirror: Oh, aw! This one was lovely! I really liked the ending, the overall message, and the simplicity of it. The repetition really helped tie everything together beautifully.

Sunny Day: AHH! So, I totally did NOT see that coming! :D Now, I'm grinning goofy!!! I loved it! So cute! At first the rhymes kind of ruffled my feathers a little. They were clever, but it was kind of hard for me to find the rhythm of the poem. Then I got into it and then you made me grin goofy. :D

Fear: Amen! Well-stated. The beginning was a stark contrast to the previous poem, but you brought it back around into the light by the end.

The Bird of the Storm: Oughoohoo, I'm such a sucker for a storm. That first stanza....beeeeauuutiful!! *sniff* Wait...WHAT?! AWWW!!! You pulled a Melissa on me!!! Oh my gosh, I think I might cry. (Can you tell I review as I read? XD) That was one of the most beautiful poems I think I've ever read. I'm gonna go read it again...Yup, I'm in tears. Legit crying over here. Oh my gosh...Catherine!?!?! Awww! I can't...just...awwww!

Now, how am I supposed to review anything else after that?!

GOR! Sniff sniff...okay, deep breath...Back to School: Sigh, this is so realistically true and, just...well-done. I lived that out almost word for word. Except I never had uniforms and I usually read through lunch XD But I enjoyed school and I was called teacher's pet too. I was the quite wallflower bookworm. But it was my escape.

On the Phone: A cute little addition to your collection. The wonders of technology!

Human: A very well-timed piece. It's crazy how many people live to divide and conquer rather than live in peace and harmony.

Well, Catherine, I think you shattered my world a little bit today. I may not recover from that emotional beating I took. That was masterful. I'm gonna go read it again...

Sorry, Melissa just pointed out to me that no one probably understands what "pulling a Melissa" is. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it...um, you broke my heart? You toyed with my emotions so extremely that I never saw it coming? Melissa, help me out here!

Ah, but to see you dangle so helplessly is so fun, my friend. :D

She absolutely loves a good romance, and her reactions are even better when you rip the carpet out from underneath their feet.

Melissa wrote: "uh, Cathrine, you broke Cora..."

Oops

Coralie wrote: "Catherine:

Looking in that Mirror: Oh, aw! This one was lovely! I really liked the ending, the overall message, and the simplicity of it. The repetition really helped tie everything together beaut..."

Thank you so much! I spent a long time on Bird of the Storm and I'm so glad that it paid off.

Melissa wrote: "heehee, but I have to agree, Bird of the storm, AMAZING!"

Thank you ^.^

Catherine wrote: "Coralie wrote: "Catherine:

Looking in that Mirror: Oh, aw! This one was lovely! I really liked the ending, the overall message, and the simplicity of it. The repetition really helped tie everythin..."

Paid off is right! Catherine, I am STILL aching from that poem! I can't shake the tension in my chest. I would like your permission to print it out and keep it among my things. If not, I completely understand, but I swear, I'm just...completely flabbergasted by that poem.

And Melissa worded it perfectly! You pulled the rug right out from under me! Completely dumbfounded!