From this book, I learned that culture can be what hinders us from doing what we really want to. In the book, the author talks about her and her families different experiences. In one poem, she talks about the perception of a woman as ugly, “your daughter's face is a small riot, her hands a civil war, a refugee camp behind each ear, a body littered in ugly things.” Warsan Shire portrays the culture of this world so vividly, within this one line you know that they see women as objects and the are wanted for their looks, not their brain, hindering them from what they have the potential to become. I also learned culture changes from generation to generation, what may have been relevant to an elder, may not be relevant to a millennial. Shire talks about many different parents and grandparents, but her own story and the stories of the ones she grew up with were completely different. In one generation, they wait for sex and it should occur after wedlock, whereas in a younger generation, they take more risk and question gender roles. “ My older sister soaps between her legs, her hair a prayer of curls. When she was my age, she stole the neighbor’s husband, burnt his name into her skin. For weeks she smelt of cheap perfume and dying flesh….Our mother has banned her from saying God’s name.” This shows the dynamic difference between her sister and mother, her sister goes against her religion as well as her culture, but her mother stays conservative. The last thing I learned even though the world has come a long way in that we have laws against abuse and more freedom for women, we still have a long way to go. She talks about how her mother was abused by her father but never left. This fear is relevant in many different women all around the world, but it shouldn’t be. “What do you mean he hit you? Your father hit me all the time but I never left him. He pays the bills and he comes home at night, what more do you want?” The world still has a different vision of what marriage should be, and though marriage can’t be defined by one or two sentences, abuse shouldn’t be a part of it.
I also learned culture changes from generation to generation, what may have been relevant to an elder, may not be relevant to a millennial. Shire talks about many different parents and grandparents, but her own story and the stories of the ones she grew up with were completely different. In one generation, they wait for sex and it should occur after wedlock, whereas in a younger generation, they take more risk and question gender roles. “ My older sister soaps between her legs, her hair a prayer of curls. When she was my age, she stole the neighbor’s husband, burnt his name into her skin. For weeks she smelt of cheap perfume and dying flesh….Our mother has banned her from saying God’s name.” This shows the dynamic difference between her sister and mother, her sister goes against her religion as well as her culture, but her mother stays conservative.
The last thing I learned even though the world has come a long way in that we have laws against abuse and more freedom for women, we still have a long way to go. She talks about how her mother was abused by her father but never left. This fear is relevant in many different women all around the world, but it shouldn’t be. “What do you mean he hit you? Your father hit me all the time but I never left him. He pays the bills and he comes home at night, what more do you want?” The world still has a different vision of what marriage should be, and though marriage can’t be defined by one or two sentences, abuse shouldn’t be a part of it.