Blazing Readers & Wordy Writers discussion

You can criticize other people's works in their personal writing here. That way thing things don't get too messy. :-)

This is a GREAT IDEA!

I've deleted most of my personal writings on here for the time being.

PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "I've deleted most of my personal writings on here for the time being."

Aw...I hope you still choose to work on them, though!

I'm working on my original ones, but discontinued most of my FanFictions.

It's time for me to give back! So many people have helped me with my novel and other works, but I don't give much critique...
Time to change that!
Trey, "The Cat" was an interesting piece, but it needed an editor. There was an overuse of apostrophes; "mother" should be capitalized when it's used like a name. Also, you have some misplaced modifiers. Take this example, half a sentence from the beginning of your work:
"Mumbling incoherently, the bag was hefty as I..."
It sounds as though the bag is mumbling incoherently! Don't worry, it's a common mistake.
Finally, some sentences just felt awkward. I...I don't know how to explain it, honestly.

I liked the concept, and you added a lot of good details. :)

R.S. wrote: "It's time for me to give back! So many people have helped me with my novel and other works, but I don't give much critique...
Time to change that!
Trey, "The Cat" was an interesting piece, but it n..."

Wow!

Is that a good "wow"? Lol. I know I can be a little annoying with my complaints about grammar.

R.S. wrote: "Is that a good "wow"? Lol. I know I can be a little annoying with my complaints about grammar."

It's a good wow.

Okay. *relieved*
:)

He he, I learned long ago not to dish it out if I can't take it. XD I tend to tear people's writing to shreds. I've also learned that not everyone appreciates that thoroughness. So, I try to moderate my feedback until I get a better feel for what the writer can handle.

Sooo...I just added a short story that Melissa and I finished co-writing....if anyone wants to check out Cinderella's Coachman...O.O.....it's on both her thread and mine. :D We'd love to know what y'all think!

I've read it and I loved it!

Coralie wrote: "He he, I learned long ago not to dish it out if I can't take it. XD I tend to tear people's writing to shreds. I've also learned that not everyone appreciates that thoroughness. So, I try to modera..."

Except Melissa. Then I dish it out cause I know she can handle it, but sometimes, I do something or say something that makes her freak out and cry and it is HILARIOUS!

Like that page break yesterday, When she thought I deleted something she was going to delete because she hated it and it was distracting her... She was crying and bawling until she realized it was just on the next page. XD

True story. <3 Cora

Thanks Loki!

Melissa wrote: "Coralie wrote: "He he, I learned long ago not to dish it out if I can't take it. XD I tend to tear people's writing to shreds. I've also learned that not everyone appreciates that thoroughness. So,..."

*snort snort* Ha ha ha, I'm laughing so hard over here. You even wrote it from my pov. XD and I don't always relish making you cry....just sometimes :D Payback! For the way you rip my heart out with your tortuous stories!

PinkLoki(Shine) RULER OF: CrimsonPeak, Asgard, Jotunheim, Midgard, AvengersTower wrote: "I've read it and I loved it!"

Glad you liked it, Shine!!

You're welcome.

Hi Sylveon-Raven-! I read the snippet of writing you posted, and I was wondering if you were interested in a little constructive criticism, just something I noticed. I saw you wrote "No judgmental comments please."

Judgement as in flat out "Your writing sucks" or something that would seem hurtful for someone as easily hurt as I am

I'm a sensitive person

I understand that; I'm a sensitive person as well. Anyone who is too rude in the group will be removed, so don't worry too much there.

What I noticed is that nearly all your sentences begin with a subject opener, a noun or pronoun. That can make your sentences sound a bit repetitive, so you might try varying your sentences. The openers I've learned are as follows:

1) A subject opener: The dog ran up the hill.
2) A prepositional opener: Up the hill, the dog quickly ran.
3) -ly adverb opener: Quickly, the dog ran up the hill.
4) -ing verb opener: Running up the hill, the dog evaded his pursuers.
5) Clausal opener (when, while, where, as, since, if, although, because): When the dog ran up the steep hill, the crowd gawked at his athletic prowess.
6) -ed verb opener: Deceived by the dog, his pursuers were angry.

Okay other then that hows my writing?

It was good! The plot line was intriguing, and that story has a lot of potential to become a book if you wanted to and work hard!

Ok. I'm working on putting my dreams together by category.

Categories:
Mansion
Hospital
Villains
Playground
Secret Passageways

But I've had so many different ones, taking the same place, that I'm stuck.

(I'm very sensitive. )

Hmm. Do the characters reoccur? That's one way to organize them. You could also be more specific, like a room in the mansion or hospital.

A room? If only I can explain what I've dreamt about...

I don't know, sorry. I'm not too familiar with Marvel or what goes on inside your brain hehe.

Maybe someday I'll figure it out...

I've looked over my Book Of Dreams and I've noticed that some of them weren't making any sense. I thought I had all the details, but I didn't. No wonder I'm so frustrated with my writings. Maybe that's why I don't finish it or start over.

Hi everyone! So I’m struggling with my writing... it’s the paragraphs and dialogue rules that are messing me up. Would anyone be willing to help me figure out the rules or maybe look over my untitled piece and sort of guide me in the right direction, because honestly I have no clue how. That’s what happens when you mainly write poetry, then decide to write a long piece and forget all the rules.

Thanks!

No problem, feel free to PM me and I will read it over. Though warning, I am not very good with grammer, I will help all that I can