Pride and Prejudice discussion

Elizabeth would be breaking societal norms/expectations whether she accepts Darcy OR refuses him. She’s too poor to even be considered yet at the same time it would be stupid of her not to marry Darcy because of the advantages of the match for her and her family. Austen explores this theme a lot in her books, with Emma trying to raise Harriet to lady status because she feels she should be a lady despite Harriet’s obvious poverty and social inferiority. But in the end Harriet still gets an advantageous match.

In P and P, Darcy and Elizabeth are both prideful and prejudice against the other. Elizabeth is too prideful to accept Darcy despite the fact that she knows she should and secretly wants to. Darcy is too prideful to consider her at first because it would lower him in society. Elizabeth is Prejudice against Darcy based on rumors, Darcy based on her situation in life. Elizabeth snubs Darcy because she’s too prideful to accept his attempts. She already declared she wouldn’t talk to him so she doesn’t want to go back on what she told her family, because that’d ruin her pride. Darcy’s pride blinds him to assuming Elizabeth will accept him flat out. However, Mr Collins says earlier that a woman usually rejects an offer from the person she secretly wishes to accept...

Austen may be trying to show how societal expectations, and the desire for nonconformity to those expectations, can create conflict. Elizabeth and Darcy struggle with balancing their desires to be happy with the person they want and the person society tells them they should be with and who they deserve to be with based on wealth but also character. Elizabeth knows she could never marry Darcy because she's too poor; it would also be foolish for her to refuse him. Darcy knows he could never marry Elizabeth because she's too poor, but is too blinded by his feelings to listen to society's expectations. This is why P & P is still so popular. People still defy society for their own happiness. People still judge others based on their income and careers.

Elizabeth defies society by refusing Mr. Collins and Darcy, while also defying society by ACCEPTING Darcy. Either way, she does not play by the rules. Austen gives hope by showing that society doesn't have to be as shallow and superficial as being obsessed with someone's income or situation in life to be a good person or equal to them in society can make you. Darcy is rich, but he's an ass. Lizzy may be poor, but she's intelligent and well-liked. It seems personality and temperament can get you somewhere in life after all.

However, at the end of the day, Lizzy still resorts to conventional societal roles. No matter how clever, before-her-times, and independent she is, she still falls back into the expected gender roles of her society. Perhaps Austen is showing that there is no escape, that no matter how free-spirited a woman is she will always be trapped by convention. Lizzy would "never be induced into matrimony," but she soon realizes that marriage IS her only way to freedom. She is too poor to support herself. She's too clever for her own good. She has no means to do anything with her intelligence because she lacks the means to do so. Consider how Austen was able to avoid marriage because she could support herself with her writing. Unless you have money, there is no path to freedom. Lizzy escaped her life of poverty only to become trapped into the monotony of married life and wifely duties. She will be mother to her inevitable children. Lizzy may not be trapped by her income, but she is now trapped by her new role, demonstrating that women really never have a path to freedom.