World, Writing, Wealth discussion

Of course, it's your story, Eldon, and a really terrific one. (view spoiler)[ I just begrudge losing such a great female character, and a blogger to boot!!!!! But if her death brings about Nathan's downfall then it won't be in vain You do need some noble character however, and a female please. Not because I'm making a feminist argument, but simply because you know your book will have a wider appeal if there is a strong woman in it. Elise??? Redeems herself??? <\spoiler> (hide spoiler)]

Joanna wrote: "Of course, it's your story, Eldon, and a really terrific one. [spoilers removed]"

My editor made similar comment on the abscence of a strong female presence. Without a doubt, the females will rise to prominence starting in my upcoming release of related stories and carrying on into Horde Protocol :) Great things ahead!

Happy to hear that, Eldon. Good luck with the next book. It looks like you're on a roll! And, I just posted my review of Singularity.

Joanna wrote: "Happy to hear that, Eldon. Good luck with the next book. It looks like you're on a roll! And, I just posted my review of Singularity."

Thanks Joanna :)

Here's a spoiler free discussion point. Upon completion of my manuscript I was shocked by the male/female ratio between my characters. I looked at it initially because my editor made mention of the lack of female characters in control. While, I didn't do it intentionally, I wonder if it works in my favour?

As a dystopian story, do you think the lack of females in control adds to the claustrophobic sense of something being wrong? After all, what could be more dystopian than a civilization totally run by men? ;)

(Snort!)

Eldon wrote: "Here's a spoiler free discussion point. Upon completion of my manuscript I was shocked by the male/female ratio between my characters. I looked at it initially because my editor made mention of the..."

Speaking as a woman, I don't really see anything wrong with it. I'm not sure it adds anything, more like confirms the truth of the last few centuries lol - men have pretty much always been in control! Even in the real world, despite the "equality" push, there's still unfairness, especially from society's POV.

The most basic example that comes to mind is a man can have a kids and still work a FT job, but if a woman has kids and works a FT job, automatically she's either less of a mother, or less of a career person. You can't win :/ And while that's not the case everywhere, it is in a great part of the society.

That being said, I thought the dystopian concept worked as is. The fact that a gang of corrupt men run the city wasn't surprising lol, very Batman-ish. Or Arrow-ish :) Or any superhero show-ish haha

And I can tell you that while reading, I didn't stop to think about the lack of female characters. I read about Alexis (who, yes, did annoy me because of her reckless spirit), and some augments that are females, and it blended in the story, you know? I didn't stop by to analyze anything, and even when I was done the book, I didn't stop to think "oh, wow, there's 80% males and only 20% females in this story". But then again, I was in it for the thrill ride :)

So, bottom line, I think the lack of females is just part of the story. Doesn't add, doesn't detract. At least, IMHO.

"Nathan banged the side of his fist on the aluminum screen, rattling the storm door in its loose frame. Despite the chill wind, the inner door was open, and he heard sobbing."

Cool visual Eldon.

Graeme wrote: ""Nathan banged the side of his fist on the aluminum screen, rattling the storm door in its loose frame. Despite the chill wind, the inner door was open, and he heard sobbing."

Cool visual Eldon."

Thanks Graeme :)

Yeah, it gives good 'grit,' it immediately brings to mind an image of a run down tenement in a run down part of town (outside the wall...).

Just reached Chapter 9 - and WHAM!

Graeme wrote: "Just reached Chapter 9 - and WHAM!"

😁 You've met a certain character?

Indeed I have.

The plot thickens, the story is moving along at at good pace, no wasted space. I'm getting interested.

Graeme wrote: "The plot thickens, the story is moving along at at good pace, no wasted space. I'm getting interested."

Glad to hear it's an interesting read Graeme :) What chapter are you at?

I don't have the book open in front of me. Nathan and his partner just interviewed the lead scientist at the corporation.

Nathan and Quinn have trust issues and Quinn takes a shot of rum.

Your dialogue is really good, smooth and substantial, gestures are well done, there is a good sense of what people are doing as they speak without anything being intrusive. Which is not easy to do.

Graeme wrote: "Your dialogue is really good, smooth and substantial, gestures are well done, there is a good sense of what people are doing as they speak without anything being intrusive. Which is not easy to do."

Sounds like around Chapter 13 to me.

You're so right, Graeme. One of the hardest lessons I've learned as an author is how to get out of the way of the scene. I've come a long way in being able to fade into the background and not bog a scene down with description.

When I started out, I believed readers would want description and so gave it to them in abundance. With time, I've learned that a little goes a long way ;)

I'm just starting ch 14. Alexis is chatting with Leo.

It's a real art form to provide the reader with just enough pertinent detail for them to engage their imagination with.

Get it right, and you'll immerse the reader. Too little, or the wrong details and you'll confuse the reader, too much and you'll bore them.

And readers are different...

It's lunch time in Melbourne on a Saturday afternoon. I'm heading off to write a few scenes. I'll read some more tonight.

45% in and I'm pretty sure (view spoiler)[Quinn = Ness (hide spoiler)]

EDIT: Geez, 2 pages later and the reveal occurs...

Graeme wrote: "45% in and I'm pretty sure [spoilers removed]

EDIT: Geez, 2 pages later and the reveal occurs..."

Your intuition continues to serve you well ;)

That’s one of the things I liked best about Singularity :) how easy it was to picture everything and how it played out like a movie! Nothing was distracting about the dialogue or the descriptions, it just kinda flowed in!

So here’s a question, Eldon! What made you decide to throw in the mix of genres? Crime and dystopian easily go together, but the augments, etc? Did it just kind of write itself in, that part of the plot, or did you always know where you were heading with it? :)

When Nathan tells (view spoiler)[Quinn he knows who the Traitor is (talking about Leo) and Quinn is frightened, was when I first felt sure of it, but originally I felt that Quinn was being presented as a red-herring and it would be someone else. (hide spoiler)]

The thought the whole handling of Elise's (view spoiler)[betrayal of (hide spoiler)] of Alexis was done very well.

Eldon wrote: "Your intuition continues to serve you well ;)"

Yeah, nailed it two pages before the reveal.... I'm a genius!

Alexa wrote: "So here’s a question, Eldon! What made you decide to throw in the mix of genres? Crime and dystopian easily go together, but the augments, etc? Did it just kind of write itself in, that part of the plot, or did you always know where you were heading with it? :)"

Thanks for the great question, Alexa! Interestingly enough, despite the order they appear in the book, this story actually started for me with the augments. Before I began work on Singularity, I attempted to write two other books that never took off. I was close to giving up writing at one point. Before I did though, I wanted to write something fun. As a huge comic fan, the notion of powers was an easy one.

I had such fun writing this book - it's reinvigorated my love for writing. With the augments in place, I knew I wanted to set the story in the future and felt, dystopian was the right flavour for that future. Given all that, as you say, crime and dystopian go so easy together.

Graeme wrote: "When Nathan tells [spoilers removed]"

The original version of the story had the traitor's identity revealed much earlier. I thought it would be interesting if the reader knew something Nathan didn't. In the end though, on the advice of my editor, I hid the traitor's identity to build intrigue. I think it works best this way.

Graeme wrote: "The thought the whole handling of Elise's [spoilers removed] of Alexis was done very well."

Thanks Graeme :)

Eldon wrote: "Given all that, as you say, crime and dystopian go so easy together. ..."

Esp, when the crime is institutional. (I.e. the police are the criminals).

Eldon wrote: "Thanks Graeme :) "

I did trip over Elise chewing her tongue and wringing her hands. I have no mental image of someone chewing their tongue...

Graeme wrote: "Eldon wrote: "Thanks Graeme :) "

I did trip over Elise chewing her tongue and wringing her hands. I have no mental image of someone chewing their tongue..."

You could be right. Maybe I meant biting her tongue.....hmmm.

I know, your gesture set are about 'distress,' on her part in this part of the story.

Ch 40. Echoes of Banquo's ghost.

Graeme wrote: "Ch 40. Echoes of Banquo's ghost."

I don't recognize the reference.

From Macbeth, REF: Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macbeth

Macbeth is haunted by his friend Banquo's ghost, who he had murdered to protect his rule as King.

He's haunted because he experiences a deep and abiding guilt for the murder of his friend.

Macbeth is one of my favorite stories.

Graeme wrote: "From Macbeth, REF: Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macbeth

Macbeth is haunted by his friend Banquo's ghost, who he had murdered to protect his rule as King.

He's haunted because he experience..."

You know I read Macbeth in high school and couldn't make sense of it lol. I've since come to understand the magic of the Bard's words are meant for the select few who can truly appreciate them :)

Good reference though!!

Graeme wrote: "From Macbeth, REF: Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macbeth

Macbeth is haunted by his friend Banquo's ghost, who he had murdered to protect his rule as King.

He's haunted because he experience..." I loved Macbeth!!! That's a really good reference, and the whole haunted experience does have that vibe!

Eldon wrote: "Alexa wrote: "So here’s a question, Eldon! What made you decide to throw in the mix of genres? Crime and dystopian easily go together, but the augments, etc? Did it just kind of write itself in, th..."
That's pretty awesome, Eldon :) I can say as a reader, your enjoyment of the story REALLY shows in the writing, and makes it so much more fun to read !!

Into the final act now, a little concerned that it's titled 'Desolation.' I'm wondering what's in store. A very interesting twist has just occurred.

The (view spoiler)[Rock that gives special powers (hide spoiler)] reminded me of the movie Chronicle (2012) Ref: Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic...

Graeme wrote: "Into the final act now, a little concerned that it's titled 'Desolation.' I'm wondering what's in store. A very interesting twist has just occurred.

The [spoilers removed] reminded me of the movie..."

I think you'll find the title apt, Graeme. Enjoy the home stretch!!

The pace does seem to be picking up.

84% in. Finished ch59. A nice escalation (view spoiler)[loss of 70% of the team (hide spoiler)] for the main characters as they attempt to come to grips with the main villain.

Completed it. A solid 4 stars. Review at https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Graeme wrote: "Completed it. A solid 4 stars. Review at https://www.goodreads.com/review/show..."

Thanks for reading Graeme :) And thanks for the review!! Now that you've completed it, what would you call the genre?

It's pretty much super-hero genre, more generally an action story, contemporary fantasy, science-fiction, dystopia, are all words that could be used. Cybernetic or Cybernetic hero, or cybernetic anti-hero are possible search terms.

I thought the introduction of Archer seemed a bit arbitrary, as there was no foreshadowing that I could identify. I get that Archer was there because his daughter was with the Remnants and hence the Remnants were most likely being used by Crowley as an outer defensive screen, but that is explained post Archer's appearance.

Once you went down the "Augment," path I think that put's you squarely in the super-hero corner. You just don't have "uniforms, capes, etc..." - which is a good thing I think.

Genre wise, you're in a similar place to my own writing.

With the special rock that provides the powers, that reminded me of the 2012 movie Chronicle. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1706593/...

Archer reminded me of Arrow, or Hawkeye.