Blue Lake Academy discussion

This dorm is for Taeyun Moon and Jonas Ahn Hugo. Taeyun is studying Creative Arts and Jonas is studying Medicine.

tae’s side

taeyun is a bit of a messy yet clean person. his clothes are usually folded and put away, but he has a bunch of pictures and drawings on his desk, and his bed is overtaken by throw pillows. his sheets are white. his comforter (very fluffy, btw) is light, light blue, perfect for stains. his pillowcases are all different, crazy colors. he never opens his blue curtains; he likes the way the light filters through them. plus, it makes him feel safe. his bedside table has a few books, but mostly notebooks and papers for his classes. his lamp is the standard kind. he doesn’t have that many clothes, or extra stuff; he only has what’s neccessary. + throw pillows.

Jonas's side

Neither clean or dirty, Jonas's side of the room is usually organized but occasionally it gets a bit chaotic. He has a full dresser of the most trendy clothing and shoes along with expensive suits ties and every other article of clothing known to the human race. Instead of a headboard he has an antique bookshelf spilling with novels and piles of books that don't fit circle around his bed in precarious stacks. His bed has simple black and white covers unlike his roommates. His desk is the most interesting part of his side of the room. It holds an assortment of school supplies, blogging equipment, allergy pills and medicine books. Of course he also has the newest Mac computer which he always keeps in the top drawer of the desk. Stuck to the walls are photos of random things, his horse Dancer, the Rocky Mountains and photos of empty stages or abandoned houses.

Tilting his head like a curious puppy dog Jonas looked up at Tae with a shrug.
"No! I mean, yes. I do want you to stay... but only if you want to." He let out a deep sigh, his words tumbling over themselves in his tired state. Flopping down on his bed he rolled over onto his side so he could still see Taeyun, fixing him with an intense chocolate brown stare. He could probably just do a short blog about his new roommate before going to bed. His eyes were halfway closed and he was fighting to keep them open. He still felt bad for being rude to Tae. That wasn't a good way to start off with a new roommate. It's just that he had hated his old roommate so much and had been so happy when he had left that he wasn't sure he wanted another person in the room again. Reaching over he grabbed his camera and turned it on. It took a while to boot up so he put it down and returned his solemn gaze to Taeyun.

Taeyun smiled slightly and slowly trudged back into the room. He could just get his sheets and pillows on the bed and sleep, and tomorrow he could arrange everything. But he wasn’t exactly tired. He was cold, but not tired. It was obvious that Jonas was the opposite. He was making a visible effort to stay awake.
Taeyun went over to Jonas’s bed and sat on the edge. “Why don’t you sleep?” He asked, mimicking Jonas’s tilted head. “Tomorrow,” He said, referring to the camera. He was tempted to turn it off and put it on Jonas’s desk, but that would probably be rude.

Jonas took a deep breath and shook his head lazily against his pillow.
"I can't..." He said in half whiny voice. He was really tired and as a result all of his abilities to act like his normal polite self had gone out the window. He reached out to grab the camera but he didn't even get there. His hand grabbed ineffectually for the small camera but instead landed and curled around the side of his blanket.
"I'm just gonna sleep for a little bit and then i'll do my blog." He said softly and childishly. He was already drifting off into dream world, his eyes sliding closed. Curling up with a soft sigh his head lolled to the side as he immediately fell into a deep sleep. Taeyun could have stomped around the room with an elephant and Jonas wouldn't have even shifted.

{aahhhhh he’s too cute}

Taeyun was in awe of Jonas’s easy sleeping. It was also the most adorable thing he’d seen. Period.
He picked up the camera and looked around for the ‘off’ button, eventually finding it and turning the camera off. He set it on Jonas’s bedside table.
Tae didn’t know if Jonas usually slept with covers, but screw it if he didn’t. He pulled up the comforter from the end of the bed and sat it gently over Jonas, smiling softly to himself.

When he was finally done unpacking, it was twelve forty am, and he didn’t think he was tired at all. He sat on his bed, and next thing he knew it was morning and the sun was streaming right through his yellow curtains. He was thrown lazily across the bed, with no specific sleeping position. He threw an arm across his eyes and let out a small sigh. He was still so tired …

((Thanks!))

Feeling the covers settle over him, Jonas pulled them right up so his head was half under the covers without waking up. He was the master at doing things in his sleep. When he was younger he sleepwalked all the way down the street. He could unlock doors in his sleep, it had been a real problem. Now he had grown out of that habit luckily. Coughing slightly he turned so he could breath better, his nose stuffed up from his constant allergy battles.

Morning came with the sun shining as though to make up for the rain the night before. Yawning widely, Jonas sat up with a start when he remembered that Taeyun was his new roommate. He had very quickly gotten used to being alone again and it was weird to share the space with someone else. There was only one window and light filtered through it straight onto Tae's face, lighting up his features so they seemed to glow in the sun. He looked beautiful.
"Good morning Sunshine." Jonas mumbled teasingly, toppling out of bed as he brushed his fingers through his bedhead, causing it to stick out everywhere. Taeyun looked anything but happy to be awake.

Tae rolled over, groaning, and pulled the covers closer to him, shoving a pillow over his head. Usually he’d get up - grudgingly, of course - and go through his morning routine, but usually he didn’t stay up till 1 in the morning.
He should get up, though. He needed to practice.
He pushed the pillow off his face, causing it to roll off the bed and onto the already pillow-littered floor. His blankets were all twisted around his legs, and halfway on the floor, so when he tried to stand up he was pulled down to the cold, unforgiving wood. Thankfully, there were pillows, just for this reason. The gaps between the pillows revealed wood, and when his feet touched he yelped. It was cold. Before he fell, he caught a glimpse of Jonas and his crazy hair, and laughed out loud.
So he was on the ground, wincing and giggling at the same time. Even when he felt like a human thundercloud.

Unlike Taeyun, Jonas had slept quite well and he watched with a perplexed look on his face at the other boy who was in tangles on the floor.
"Uh? Are you okay?" He asked through a confused smile. He wasn't quite sure how Tae had gotten on the floor and much less why he was laughing. Offering him a hand up, Jonas watched him with sparkling eyes. He hadn't heard Taeyun laugh before, and it was adorable. The little giggles emitting from the boy's lips were enough to make anyone smile. His hair was still sticking up everywhere and he tried to smooth it down with his other hand.
"Look. Sorry about last night. I was being rude. I was just tired, I get cranky when I don't sleep."

Tae pulled himself up with Jonas's help, and stayed there for a moment, his smile fading a little as he looked Jonas over. They were really close to each other, just a few inches . . . Tae blinked, and the moment broke. He bent down to gather up his blankets with a returning smile. He starting laughing again, a little bit.
When he threw the blankets back onto the bed, they ended up in a big pile, nothing like what he' expected. Disney lied, apparently. He sighed, still smiling, and looked over his shoulder at Jonas. He waved his hand dismissively. "You're fine," he said, hoping he got the phrase right.

"Thanks, you're amazing!" Jonas grinned at the other boy before pulling open his draws of clothing. One thing that could always be said about Jonas was that he dressed very well. Being a social media star meant you always had to look good. Disappearing into their dorm floors bathroom he came out a moment later with brushed teeth, smoothed down hair, black jeans, tennis shoes and a trendy hoodie. They still had a while until school officially started so he pulled out all of his camera equipment and checked his phone. Just as he had expected, his mother had texted him like 5 times. Choosing to ignore her angry comments he turned on his camera. After typing up a bit of a blog post before glancing at Tae.
"You okay being in a video?" He asked casually. A new roommate was great for the blog. People liked meeting new friends, especially handsome ones like Taeyun.

Taeyun tried not to show how much the compliment affected him. But it really did; the last thing anyone had said to him that was relatively nice was Noona, when he had gotten new shoes. She’d said they made his feet look good, which wasn’t really a compliment if you thought about it.
Tae went around either side of his bed and smoothed down the covers, making sure there were no lumps or imperfections. He threw all of his pillows haphazardly on the bed, and right as he turned around, Jonas walked out of the bathroom. Tae started. Jonas looked good. He was sure that the movie star wore stuff like that every day, but still. It was hot.
He nodded a bit absentmindedly at Jonas’s question, still lost in thoughts of clothes and sleep. He rubbed his eyes with a fist and yawned as he went to gather his own clothes — basically just a loose light blue sweater with tight jeans (he hated loose pants).

Once everything was clicked on and ready, Jonas glanced over at Taeyun as he came out all dressed. Jonas had lived his whole life surrounded by people who wore only the newest most fashionable stuff and he could tell right away that Tae's clothing wasn't exactly new or trendy. But luckily for the other boy, it didn't matter. He looked amazing in what he chose to wear and Jonas couldn't help but stare just a bit too long before looking away. Everything was clicked on properly and Jonas turned on the camera. As usual he put on his most cheerful face and waved to the camera.
"Good morning! Sorry for not posting yesterday I was hanging out with my new roommate Taeyun!" He gave another sparkly look to the camera and turned it so Taeyun was in the shot.
"Say hi!" He exclaimed. He knew his fans were gonna go crazy over Tae. He was the total cutest, and he was Jonas's roommate which meant he would get a lot of attention.

Tae noticed Jonas’s once-over and ducked his head, chastened. To be honest, he thought he looked okay in his clothes, but he knew he’d look better in fancy things. It was a fantasy of his, to one day have nice, hot clothes.
Tae slid over to his bed and sat down, pulling on socks, as Jonas turned on the camera. This must be the blog, he thought. When he heard his name, he glanced up and waved a bit shyly. With his luck, the moment he stood up in front of a crowd he’d trip over the air or something. Literally though, in one of his performances, he’d kicked himself in the face and fallen sideways. It was horrible. So he stayed sitting, feeling totally awkward and on-the-spot.

Jonas chuckled softly at Tae's nervous wave to the camera. Most people were intimidated by the camera, having grown up in the film industry cameras were just a part of Jonas's life but he knew that wasn't true for other people.
"Hopefully you'll be hearing more about him." Jonas exclaimed to the camera, so smiley that he was practically glowing when he did his blogs. He wasn't always happy when he did his videos and stuff though. Nothing got viewers more than a little bit of drama. The first time he had ever broken up with someone his mom had made him make a video about it. Chatting mindlessly about their night before (not anything about Taeyun or his grandmother, only about the food), Jonas let his video run for a little bit longer before ending it off with slipping out the fact that he was working on a new movie. With a wink and a grin to the camera he finished it up and uploaded it. Not even bothering to edit it.
"Breakfast?" He asked, hopping off of his bed and running a hand over his eyes.

Tae flopped back on the bed until Jonas was done. He felt like smiling so much would be actually exhausting. When he starting rambling about the food last night, it shook loose something in Tae’s brain that told him to check on Noona. While Jonas was finishing up, he went in the bathroom and called the hospital. The only information he gained was that ‘we need to keep her until at least Sunday’. He grumbled something, still tired, and went out to meet Jonas. {time sorry you can make them go to breakfast if u want}

((do we want them to go to breakfast?))

{oh wait idk cuz Tae has to practice and they don’t want to like spend the entire whole day together (remember their 12 meeting time) so maybe not ig}

((Ah okay!))

After checking his watch, Jonas realized that he was going to be late if he didn't head out soon. His question about breakfast had gone unanswered which he soon realized was because Taeyun was no longer in the room. Padding over to the washroom he noticed the door was closed before turning away. He didn't think Tae would mind if he went out to eat breakfast without him. Hefting his bag onto his back he slammed the dorm rooms door shut as he left and made his way to the dinning hall.

((Sorry short. Do we want to skip?))

{sure, I’ll go ahead and post in the dance studio}

Taeyun was sitting at his desk, watching choreography videos on his beat-up school issued desktop. Mostly, he was just fantasizing different scholarship competitions. He was really, actually trying now. He’d even gone out and bought a phone this morning, with what little savings he had. It was worth it, though.
It was strange not talking to his grandma about it. Usually they talked about everything together. Even the weird stuff. She’d act like she was above it all, but in the end she always had the best advice. He realized with a jolt that he’d been so wrapped up in other things (meaning Jonas) that he hadn’t called her since Wednesday.

Jonas woke up and turned bleary eyed to look at Taeyun. The two were very unalike in their sleeping patterns. As Tae had mentioned before, he woke up early to practice his choreography or watch dance videos while Jonas slept in until the last possible moment. It was a late start today (for a reason Jonas didn't know) so they got to wake up extra late. Of course that hadn't stopped Tae from waking up early anyways. Jonas had vaguely recalled Taeyun leaving and then coming back, but he had been mostly asleep still. The floors were cold under his feet and he wrapped his blanket around his body as he got up, not willing to face the chilly air quite yet.
"Good morning." He mumbled, yawning. Shuffling over to Taeyun, he glanced over his shoulder to see what he was watching before going over to brush his teeth and get dressed.

At the sound of rustling blankets, Taeyun glanced behind him and saw Jonas finally waking up. He smiled. Sleepy people were like his sixth favorite things in the world, especially when they were cute sleepy people.
He looked up at Jonas when he came to see what he was doing, obviously smitten for a second. He was just too perfect … Tae stared for a few seconds before re-centering his gaze to the video.
Tae’s eyes drifted from his screen every now and then, distracted by the fact that his phone kept buzzing. It was strange that he was getting so many calls; he’d only entered Jonas’s and the hospital’s numbers. He needed to focus, though. It was probably some stupid ad thing.

{okay, I’m overthinking things (obvi) but my brain just doesn’t feel right unless I do this ah
so, let’s say the last time we roleplayed them was tuesday
on wednesday they just talked more and watched a movie or something
on thursday they had a spontaneous pillow fight and tae tried to visit his grandma but they wouldn’t let him back there
on friday they were both busy
on saturday they went out to get smoothies after school
and yesterday they were both busy
and all days that jonas does the blog tae has been participating more and more
he’s also been talking more and opening up to jonas, but he hasn’t exactly told him about his situation yet

if you want to change anything that’s good too}

Emerging from the bathroom with his hair perfectly done, his clothing ironed and stylish, Jonas sat down on his bed again. The only thing that ruined the trendy vibe was the fact that he still had his blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Stretching out like a cat, he tried to grab his own computer (one that was about 8 years newer than BLA's school computers) and flipped it open. He had gotten into the habit of doing his blogs in the morning and then videos when he had the time. He was happy that Tae seemed alright with the whole video thing and was actually deciding to be included in them more and more often. Jonas didn't enjoy doing the vlogs, but it was nicer with Taeyun. In fact everything was nicer with Taeyun.

As usual, figuring out what to write was a bit of a challenge and the constant buzzing of someones phone was not making it any easier. Finally fed up, he padded over to Taeyun's desk and picked up his phone.
"Can I put this on silent mode?" He asked, already pressing the button to turn the screen on. The screen was filled with banners with the word hospital as the contact.
"Hey! Maybe they're finally gonna let you see your grandmother!" He exclaimed, showing Taeyun the missed call number.

((Also that schedule of what they did sounds great! Pillow fight is adorable. I think also just that Jonas came to one of Tae's dance rehearsals on Wednesday and Saturday))

{yess, perfect!
also jonas just checking tae’s phone for him is such a boyfriend thing, cUte}

Taeyun frowned slightly as Jonas came back over. He’d gotten used to Jonas doing his own blog thing in the mornings while Tae either just chilled in the background or actually responded to comments with him.
He was just finishing up his video notes and was about to go over to Jonas, actually, when Jonas came. He smiled at the other boy behind his back, just because he could. “Really?” His smile only grew, an excited look coming over his face. He could get to see her? It had been so long since he’d talked to her.
He took the phone from Jonas and pressed the most recent voicemail, bringing the phone up to his ear. He spun his chair around in circles in anticipation. When it finally kicked in, it was a little staticky because of their distance from the hospital, but generally clear.
“Mr. Moon, we’ve been trying to get through to you all morning, but no one’s been picking up. This is all a shame, really. We can’t keep calling you back until you pick up, though.”
He frantically clicked a few messages back, his face morphing into worry.
“Mr. Moon, hello. This is Nurse Albany, the one who called you about extending your grandmother’s stay?” Tae nodded, forgetting that it was a voicemail. “Well, anyways. I’m awfully sorry that I didn’t call you sooner about this, but yesterday evening, your grandmother’s lungs … they weren’t doing very well to begin with, but yesterday her left lung collapsed, only because of old age, really. It was already fairly weak from a respiratory infection that had just centered in the left lung … um, so, she … she’s in a better place now. I mean, she passed away. I really am sorry about this.”
Tae’s face completely fell, his eyebrows drawn together and his mouth hanging slightly open. He didn’t understand. He knew what passed away meant, but he didn’t know … it couldn’t apply to Noona. She was his everything. She was the only thing he had left. It couldn’t happen to her too, it just couldn’t.

{oof that’s a lot longer than I thought it would be, sorry >_<}

Jonas smiled softly. Tae had an amazing heart. He looked like a child on christmas morning, but instead of getting presents he was simply getting the chance to talk to his grandmother. Watching him spin around in his chair like an excited puppy was hilarious and Jonas chuckled softly. Ever the optimist, Jonas had assumed that the hospital was calling for a good reason, but now an anxious feeling settled in his chest and he bit at the inside of his cheek impatiently as Tae listened to the messages. His anxiety grew even more at the expression that overtook Taeyun's face.
"Tae?" He asked softly as the boy let the arm holding the phone drop.
"Is everything alright?" He asked, coming over and peering at Tae's face with concern. He knew that not everything was alright though. The hospital had called, and Tae wasn't jumping for joy. Quite the opposite in fact. Hospital calls were never good. Jonas could only hope that the bad news wasn't... the worst news.

Tae nodded fiercely, forcing his face into a neutral look. “Yeah,” He said, and then stood up quickly and rushed past Jonas into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and slid down to the cold tile floor, burying his face in his hands. He didn’t know why he did that. When things got bad, he always avoided confrontation. Maybe it was because talking about his past always caused … breakdowns. But this wasn’t his past. It was his now.
He just didn’t think he could live without her. It wasn’t possible.
Noona was dead.
He finally started crying, quietly, tears dripping down through his hands. He didn’t … he couldn’t. And now he was thinking about his mom, and Bada, and somewhere out there, his dad. He could remember building LEGO towers with him, and in the end knocking them down. He was gone. Tae could remember blowing bubbles in the yard with his mom, Bada frantically chasing after them. They were gone. He could remember helping Noona with dinner every night when he was younger. She was gone.
He was so alone.

((Noooo, poor Tae))

Jonas watched as the expression on Tae's face hardened into something stiffer, so neutral that it was strange. He stepped to the side with a startled breath as Taeyun charged past him and practically flung himself into the washroom. The sound of a lock clicking was enough to stop Jonas from pushing the door open to follow the other boy. It wasn't hard to put two and two together and realize what had happened. Just to make sure, he picked up Tae's phone with shake hands and listened to the messages through the crackly sound of bad phone reception. The tinny voice on the other end of the line sounded so robotic. Despite the stumbling over a few words, the nurse sounded like she had done this many times before. Jonas assumed she probably had. Setting the phone down softly, he slowly walked over to the door and slid down so he was sitting against it. He figured Tae was doing the same thing on the other side.
"Tae. Can you unlock the door?" He asked quietly. This wasn't something anyone should face alone. It broke Jonas's heart to know that Taeyun would rather deal with something alone than trust him with his feelings.

Tae’s breaths started coming shorter and unevenly, broken up by small whimpers. He just … he couldn’t. He didn’t want to live without her. She couldn’t be dead. She was his grandma. He dug his fingers into his hair, pulling at the roots. Pain usually distracted him when this happened. It didn’t work this time, though. He needed something else. It was what he’d always done, locked himself in the bathroom without anyone to hear.
He didn’t want to cry alone anymore.
His breathing calmed down a bit when he heard Jonas’s voice. It would be okay. It wasnt okay, but Jonas would make it okay. He reached up and unlocked the door next to him, because Jonas asked. He’d do anything for Jonas. He’d do anything for Noona. She was gone, though. He leaned his head back against the white wall and tried to swallow his sobs. He didn’t want to be ugly. He was always ugly when he cried.

Jonas was surprised when he heard the door unlock. Had it been him in the bathroom, he never would have unlocked it. That was probably because his breakdowns were because of the existence of people though, not the lack of existence of people (or rather one specifically important person to Taeyun). Slowly standing up he inched the door open to make sure he didn't hit the other boy with it and slipped into the room. Tae looked like an absolute mess. Not ugly, he could never be ugly in Jonas's eyes, but his eyes had the look of someone pushed to the very edge. He didn't say anything. Being introverted, he knew better than most that sometimes saying something could only make things worse. He didn't know what Taeyun was going through. He had lost his grandparents on one side but he had been very young, too young to remember. Kneeling down, he wrapped his arms around Tae, holding him tightly and making soft comforting sounds in the back of his throat. Like how a parent might comfort their child. Sometimes people just needed someone else to take care of them for a while.

Taeyun lowered his head into Jonas’s shoulder, closing his eyes. Tears were still leaking through his closed eyelids, but it wasn’t as bad as before. He was getting it together. It could be okay. Maybe.
He made a small sound, trying to hold back his sobs. That would only make it worse. He could only think about his last words to her; something about groceries. Groceries. He could only think about his mom. His dad. His dog.
His hand came up to hold onto Jonas’s sweatshirt, clinging tightly. It was a comfort technique. Holding onto something. Usually he used himself. It’s not like he had anyone else. But it worked better with others.
He swallowed one last time and wiped his eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding Jonas. “I’m sorry,” he said carefully, slowly, as to not invite more tears. He looked down at his lap. His eyes were rimmed with red and his face was probably bloated as heck and he was probably ugly. Out of the blue, he thought he should tell Jonas. The whole thing. Maybe.

Jonas shifted into a slightly more comfortable position, having the feeling he was going to be here for a while. Hearing Tae choke back tears made him hug the other boy even tighter.
"Just let it out. I've got you." He murmured, resting his head slightly against Tae's, feeling his shoulders shake as he tried to keep in his sobs.
"It's okay." His voice was hardly above a whisper now, just a wisp of noise in the cold tiled room. He didn't understand why Taeyun was apologizing. It wasn't as though he had done anything wrong. He was in mourning, that was normal. But sometimes it seemed that Taeyun didn't know that the world could be understanding. That sometimes people were kind and caring just for the sake of being human, not for their own gain. He didn't realize that not everyone was judging who he was all the time. Especially not Jonas.

Tae’s hands were shaking. He knew this wasn’t the kind of thing that you got over. Like when you dropped your sandwich; you were sad for the wasted effort, but you got back up and made another. This was for life. He couldn’t undo it. Noona was gone.
He started crying again, just when he thought he had it together enough to look his boyfriend in the eyes. He pressed his hands over his face. He didn’t want anyone in the building to hear him. Some crying, real crying, was loud. He didn’t want Jonas to see him. Real crying made him uglier than he already was. He didn’t want the world anymore. There were now two gaping holes in his heart, and he knew they would only stretch out the more he noticed her absence. It would only get worse. He reached out again instinctively and held onto Jonas’s wrist for a small point of comfort.
It went on like this for a while, probably at least fifty minutes. He couldn’t summon the strength to talk, and he couldn’t stop crying. Every time he got it together, he choked on his words and it all crumpled again.
Eventually, he didn’t have any tears left to cry. He stood up and avoided looking in the mirror as he washed out his eyes and face with cold water, trying to get the swelling to go down. It didn’t work, of course. He hit his head on the faucet while trying to reach for a towel (they were under the sink) and just stared in the mirror as a dark bruise formed, the front of his hair dripping wet. He was a mess. It wasn’t important, though. It didn’t hurt nearly as bad as Nurse Albany’s stabbing words.

Jonas closed his eyes for a long minute, pulling Taeyun closer to him as though he could protect the other boy from the world all on his own. It was stupid to think he could protect Tae. After all, if anyone were the protected one, it would be Jonas. He lived his life in total ignorance to the troubles of other people. Every woe of his could be fixed with just a bit of money. It was obvious that Taeyun didn't have that same ability. He had to face the world head on with nothing to soften the blow and that made Jonas want to protect him even more.

They sat there for a long time. So long that Jonas could hardly feel his legs by the time the crying finally stopped. He could feel the sadness in the room as though it were it's own living thing, breathing hurt and heartbreak into every corner. He watched as Tae got up almost robotically, every movement stiff, even when he bashed his head on the sink. Gently taking his hand, Jonas led Taeyun back out of the bathroom and sat him down on his bed.
"Just sit tight for a second alright? Just rest." He murmured softly, kissing Tae lightly on the cheek before disappearing into the hall for a moment. He came back with a towel and an ice pack and sat down next to Tae, passing him the towel to dry his hair off.

Taeyun’s eyes followed Jonas. He didn’t know what else to focus on. If he stopped thinking about him, then other things would start to … creep in … a tear leaked out the corner of his eye and he rubbed it away fiercely. Jonas. Kittens. Pillows. He loves pillows, more than anything … they were his second favorite thing in the world. His mom was #1. She was soft too, and so sweet … she’d fixed every problem. He tried to redirect his thoughts. And she’d liked pillows too. They were so soft. He reached over and pulled Jonas’s pillow into his arms, holding it tightly. It smelled like him …
Tae’s eyes weren’t any less swollen, and he was almost afraid to use his voice. He looked up again when Jonas came. He didn’t deserve someone like this. “Thank you,” He said, very quietly, rubbing his hair dry it’s the towel. Jonas should know … why it was so bad. Why Tae was so strange.
Still holding tightly to the pillow, he started to talk, a bit mindlessly. “You … you should know, I should tell you. My gwageo. Um … past. I had a family. We were wanjeonhan. Perfect, I think. My dad, and my mom … and my dog, Bada. Then my dad … he got into drugs. But, jung. We still loved him … even if he hurt us. He … um … he killed my mom? And then … he went to jail. I had Bada … but I was alone, you know? Then he got out, and he took her too … and I only had Noona … and she raised me … and now I’m honja, alone,” he finished, his voice breaking desperately on the last word.

Jonas just nodded slightly when Tae thanked him. It was such a small gesture, but he knew that Tae saw any kind gesture as amazing. It made him wonder about his past, about how he had lived before BLA. Wrapping the ice pack up in a thin cloth, he reached up and pressed it against the dark bruise on Taeyun's forehead. Bruises had always sort of amazed Jonas. In a strange sort of way he found them beautiful. The way the colours changed as it healed. Black, purple, green, yellow. But on Tae's skin it just made Jonas sad. He wanted to kiss the bruises away, kiss the hurt away but he knew that he could not fix this. There was no fixing death, it was final. Even the richest person alive knew that. People spent their whole lives scrambling to get money, but in the end it didn't matter. Everyone died.

His gaze stayed firmly on Tae while he spoke, almost as though it was a story of someone else's and Tae was retelling it. He spoke as though everything were a question, like he wasn't quite sure he was telling his own story correctly. Jonas didn't know what to say. He was a normal teenager, or at least mostly normal. He had rich kid problems and the worst thing that had ever happened to him was he had had a panic attack at a party. That was nothing compared to what Taeyun had gone through. Suddenly he understood why the other boy was always so quiet, so guarded. Who wouldn't be after that?
"I..." He trailed off, not knowing what to say.
"You're not alone Tae." He finally settled on saying.
"I know I can't change anything that happened, and it's probably stupid for me to say. But I am so, so sorry Taeyun." He continued in a wobbly voice. Jonas was introverted but he always knew what to say with people. But now he had no idea what to say or do so he just put his arms around Taeyun again and pulled him close.

When he finished speaking, he looked down dejectedly. He didn’t know how to talk and be confident in himself. Everything had ended as a question. It wasn’t a question, though. He knew that … he knew it had happened. He’d heard it, he’d seen it. He’d curled up with his mom’s dead body in her bed until the morning. He’d woken up covered in her blood. It had happened, he was sure. But he couldn’t accept it, he couldn’t move past it. It had gotten easier, sure. But it would never be gone. Why did people mourn less every day? Maybe they forgot. Tae wasn’t forgetting anytime soon.
If Jonas thought his words were only surface deep, he was so wrong. They meant more than Tae could say. Most people said sorry and tried to put emotion into it, but it only felt like a word. When Jonas said it, it was authentic. He meant it.
Tae closed his eyes and leaned his head against Jonas’s shoulder, hoping it would convey more than his words ever could. He didn’t want to be anywhere else right now. He was thankful. He was hurting. He wasn’t alone, maybe. Maybe.

Taking in a long breath he settled back the wall, not letting go of Taeyun for a moment. Leaning down he gently kissed Tae on the forehead and then one on his cheek, and then one more on the tip of his nose. He was about to say something about Noona when there came a knock on their door. Jonas looked up in surprise before untangling himself from Taeyun and opening the door a sliver, so that whoever was there couldn't see the beds. He wasn't sure if Tae wanted anyone else to see him. A girl stood before them looking annoyed and tired, she was chewing gum. Very loudly.
"Uh. Taeyun?" She asked, popping the blubble gum in her mouth. Jonas frowned but nodded wordlessly.
"Principle wants to see you." She said with a bored expression on her face. Jonas nodded at her and then smiled.
"A'right, i'll be down in a second." He assured her. She shrugged noncommittally and walked back down the hall. Closing the door softly, Jonas paused before turning back to Tae.
"The principle wants to see you. Probably about... Noona." He murmured softly.

Taeyun’s mouth moved in the semblance of a smile. Sweet little touches like that were more than anyone could realize.
He shied away at the sound of the door knocking and let go of Jonas very slowly. He wanted him to come back. His face crumpled again at the mention of Noona. He didn’t want to go see someone about it. He wasn’t a charity case … but maybe he was. He wouldn’t talk about it, either way. It would just make the crack in his heart more visible. He didn’t even want to see anyone except for Jonas right now. He was a mess.
He reached for Jonas’s hand instinctively and stood up, nonetheless. He had on old pants and a loose sweater, and his forehead had a blackish bruise on it. But he had to go, he told himself. It wasn’t optional. “Come with me?” He asked a bit timidly, looking up at Jonas. He didn’t know what he’d do if he had to go alone.

"Of course." Jonas replied immediately, taking Tae's hand in his own. Even though he knew that he should be focusing on Noona and Tae's grieving, holding Tae's hand made his mind drift a little. He couldn't help but think about how sweet the other boy was, how kind he was in that quiet gentle way. How it felt so right to hold hands with him. Everything about him just felt totally right. Kissing him never felt awkward or strange. Despite their huge personality differences, it seemed to Jonas that they fit perfectly together. Without letting go of his hands once, Jonas closed and locked the door before leading Tae down the hall to the principles office.
"Mr. Hugo, Mr. Moon." The principle nodded at Jonas before giving Taeyun a worried smile.
"We just heard the news from the hospital. I'm so sorry Taeyun." She said softly, much less formal now.
"I just wanted to let you know that my door is always open, as are the guidance councilors if you need to talk." She paused as though she didn't want to say what she had to say next.
"And soon we're going to need to talk about... family arrangements." She said with a sad look.

((I'm thinking that since Noona is dead, Tae has to find a new home to live in (he's still a minor right?) and that involves his dad? Any ideas?))

{wh00ps I just reread his history and his dad actually died from an overdose
so that’s a no go …
um, what about foster care, and he really likes the people so they decide to adopt him? idk, that’s all I have}

Taeyun kind of hid behind Jonas in the principal’s office. He didn’t like authority. He waited for the lady to stop speaking and then nodded thankfully. “It’s … okay.” he said weakly, even though it wasn’t.

{I’m short on time sorryyy}

((Totally fine! Also, adoption sounds good. It could be really cute, maybe have some siblings involved?))

The principle may have not been a teacher for a while, but she still knew kids very well. Right now she knew that Taeyun just needed some time alone, or at least with Jonas or someone he trusted. She wanted to help him as much as she could but there wasn't much she could do right now for him. He just needed time.
"Alright, I just wanted to let you know that the school is here to support you." She smiled gently at him again before turning her look to Jonas. They didn't know each other that well, although his fame had come to the attention of the school board. Other than that though she didn't know much about him, she could only hope he was going to take care of this grieving boy.
"C'mon Tae. I think you should eat something okay?" He murmured softly as they left the room. He wanted to make sure that Tae stayed healthy right now.

{sounds great 👍🏻}

Tae nodded. “Thank you,” He said quietly, blinking back tears again. He knew her sorriness was sincere, but he couldn’t help but feel like it was just another part of the job. She wouldn’t cry for him when she got home; she’d mention him and say it was a shame. She didn’t know it had completely shattered his world.
He hadn’t thought about … where he would live. He was almost seventeen, just three more months. His birthday was in the dead of winter. Of course it was. Anyways, seventeen wasn’t old enough. He was still a minor. His grandma was both dead now, and both of his parents were long gone. His grandparents on the other side were nearly nonexistent. Not that he’d want to live with them. He didn’t want to live with strangers either. Where in the world was he supposed to go?
He followed Jonas out of the room. Once they were out and the door closed behind them, Tae pressed his face into the other boy’s shoulder, completely overwhelmed. He just wanted it all to go away. He took a deep, shaky breath, his eyes wet again.
He nodded slowly, but didn’t look up, when Jonas mentioned food. He was hungry. It had been a full day, 24 hours, since he’d last eaten. Eating was a good distraction.

((Do we have any plans for what should happen next?))

"You don't have to figure anything out right now okay Tae? If anything needs doing, i'll do it." Jonas assured to him softly. Grief was a strange thing. It was perhaps one of the most important abilities for humans to have. People naturally needed to grieve when they lost something or someone important to them. Those who tried to ignore their feelings of grief only destroyed something within themselves. Jonas didn't want that to happen to Tae. He didn't want him to have to toughen up and stop grieving too soon because life was hard on him. Taeyun had already grown up too fast in Jonas's opinion, he should at least be given the respect to have time to be sad as any person should. If any logistical pieces of Tae's new guardianship rules and questions, Jonas promised himself that he would take care of them. Reaching the cafeteria he found a table in the back away from the few other kids in the room and after giving Tae's hand a squeeze, walked off to get some food. He had special food for his allergies (most of which was absolutely disgusting) but he wasn't that hungry so instead he just got some stuff for Tae to eat. He went for the pea soup and warm bread with butter. It was perfect comfort food.
"Here." He murmured as he came back, setting the plate before Taeyun.

{idk, they could go to school and then watch a movie or something at their dorm but that’s so cliche so maybe Tae meets his family or something
anything is fine really, I have no ideas & I’m really jet lagged so yeah}

Tae shook his head at Jonas’s statement. No matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t allow Jonas to do everything that he should be doing by himself. That would just be selfish. He was already enough of a burden. He could take care of himself. But. Could he actually? Just this morning had proved otherwise. He hated to think that he was like a child, but maybe it was true. That was all he was.

He’d lost all of his appetite with those thoughts by the time Jonas came back. He was hungry, but he felt sick. He thanked Jonas quietly and started to eat anyways, savoring each bite. It was a rare occasion that he got good food like this, courtesy of someone else. He had to enjoy it while he could, even if he was about to cry an ocean. His mom used to make soup like this. It had been such a long time since he’d had it, he’d nearly forgotten what it tasted like.

((Okay. Movie sounds cute... jet lagged? Hope you got some sleep!))

Jonas watched Tae eat like a worried parent. Tae looked like he was just teetering at the edge of breaking. Jonas couldn't blame him. He just seemed so breakable like a gust of wind might tear him apart. Someone important to him was gone and Jonas couldn't imagine how that felt. Despite all the acting he did in movies, he couldn't feel what Taeyun was feeling. He just wished that he could take some of the pain away, take some of it for himself just to give Tae a little break from the horrific feeling of sadness. Other students milled about, chatting and eating like it was a normal day. To them it was. People died all the time, it only mattered though when it was someone you knew. Once the bowl was nearly empty, Jonas smiled lightly. He didn't know what to do with people in mourning. He hated knowing that he couldn't fix the thing that was making them sad.

"We can go watch a movie or something. If that would help?" He asked helplessly, biting his lip softly. Maybe curling up in a huddle of pillows and warm blankets would make Tae feel a little better. There was nothing like a movie to help you forget about life for a little while.

{cool! I’ve tried … }

Tae finished eating and clenched his hands together in his lap. There was still so much that needed to be done … he couldn’t do it. He’d wait until tomorrow. He could do it tomorrow, just not now. Watching a movie was okay. It was fun. It was something that normal people did in their spare time. People who’s mothers and fathers and grandmas and dogs weren’t gone forever. So, he nodded silently, his loose thoughts sliding around his head. He could be normal for one more day, even if it was the most broken normal he’d ever seen anywhere. He just wanted to reverse and go back and start over.
His eyes followed the movement of Jonas’s lips and he smiled softly, instinctively, at even the thoughts. He was just such a pretty person … Tae chided himself immediately. He wasn’t going to … he wasn’t going to be his dad. He couldn’t use Jonas as a distraction. He kept telling himself not doing anything was okay, he could do it all tomorrow, but there was still that nagging voice.
He stood up to throw away his trash and stack his bowl with the others, still struggling to stay composed. He went back to Jonas, and feeling a little bit guilty for his earlier thoughts, slid his hand into the other boy’s. Partly for that, and partly for comfort. He didn’t want to think about Noona, or Mom, or his father, or Bada. He just wanted … he didn’t even know.

{sorry it’s so long … I can’t sleep ugh}