SCPL Online NonFiction Book Club discussion

Good afternoon!

Today I want to explore Roxane Gay's relationship with her family. She is the daughter of upper middle class Haitian-Americans, and it seems her upbringing was a happy one. In Hunger, she writes of her experiences gathering around the table with her family every night for dinner. They paid for her to attend prestigious boarding schools and colleges. She even describes her parents' support during her "lost years", saying about her father: "He fathered me despite everything I was doing to be unparented" (p. 96).

Were you surprised, then, that Gay kept her assault a secret from her family? Of her weight, she says that her family has always tried to "solve the problem" of her body. What do you think about this?

We have talked about weight loss surgery already, but it wasn't until I read an article today that I realized Gay did go through with the surgery in January of this year. Interestingly, she did not tell her family about the surgery ahead of time either. What do you think about that?

If you want to read the moving essay about Roxane Gay's surgery, you will find it here: https://medium.com/s/unrulybodies/the...

Please feel free to share your thoughts!

I've started my response to this topic about five times now. I think the bottom line is Roxanne Gay and I obviously have very different relationships with our families. Her's was incredibly supportive and yet she still chose and chooses not to be open with them. I can understand that reaction after such a traumatic incident at such a young age but going forward, it's harder for *me* to understand. That doesn't mean it's wrong, it just means I was not in the slightest bit surprised that she kept many things, including her weight loss surgery, secret.

I mean there's lots of stuff my family doesn't know (and doesn't need to know) about me but the big stuff? There's no secrets.