SCPL Online NonFiction Book Club discussion

In the preface to her book, Kate Bowler describes her beliefs about her life prior to her diagnoses of incurable cancer: “I felt breathless with the possibilities…It was certainty, plain and simple, that God had a worthy plan for my life in which every step back would also be a step forward… I believed God would make a way. I don’t believe that anymore” (p. xiv). She was now living with uncertainty, but many people assured her that her condition was a test, a part of God’s plan to make her stronger, to improve her. Bowler explains that according to the beliefs of the prosperity gospel, faith will make a way, no matter the difficulty one is experiencing. The title of the book, Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved, reflects the shift in the author’s beliefs about there being a plan for her life. What are your thoughts about the book’s title? Are there any phrases that you have used, or that others have said to you, that gave you comfort? Or that perhaps didn’t ring true? I think "it wasn't meant to be" (or "if it's meant to be it will happen") is one of the phrases that I've heard used the most often. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

I've heard most of the cliche phrases... and the only one which ever gave me comfort was "think positively." My Grandma lived by that phrase. In her last years she suffered from multiple severe health issues. She was a nurse and was just so patient and great about everything. It is an unrealistic expectation to think that life will be easy. I've studied a lot of church history and theology. Christian theology teaches that there will be problems in this life, but faith can help us to cope with those problems...it won't make us rich or make everything easy. That's why the prosperity gospel is so odd, it is the opposite of what most mainstream churches preach.

(I think I just comment on the above topic in a wrong chat stream. Sorry.)

I appreciate the comments by Jules. I have stirred, as Kate did on the receiving end of comments, with what is helpful and what is not helpful to say to one who is suffering. Even as one who has faith in God, that faith is broad in my not understanding if everything really happens for a reason. It came across to me that Kate took the best of pieces of anything said to her and anything she had previously studied about the churches. Her honesty with us and candid sharing of how she perceived things said or quoted gave me a new outlook on the subject. I'll think beyond the typical clichés in the future, asking myself before speaking if I truly believe what I'm feeling lead to say or if it's "a lie I love" because it seems to give hope at a time of hopelessness.

"Think positive", quoted from Jules and her Grandma, is good advice in any situation. "Focus on your blessings" is another quote that my Aunt would say and do in her last year of struggling with cancer. Even in the depths of the darkness, we have blessings we can focus on. For Kate, it was her son and incredible husband, to name 2 at the top of her list. She never quit appreciating them and living each day of her life to be with them.

Judee wrote: "(I think I just comment on the above topic in a wrong chat stream. Sorry.)

I appreciate the comments by Jules. I have stirred, as Kate did on the receiving end of comments, with what is helpful an..."

well said Judee. I thought it was great how Kate focused on her family and all the kindness around her as much as she could. :)

Hi Jules and Judee,

Thank you for your insight. I agree that "think positive" and "focus on your blessings" are good words to live by, and that positive thinking can help us through the inevitable difficult times. Her book has definitely helped me to consider how I respond to problems, both my own and others'.

Here is a link to a short interview Kate did with The Today Show that touches on some of the themes that we've discussed that you may find interesting:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVS0D...

I look forward to more discussion about the book. :)
Keely

Thank you for sharing that link with us Keely.

I love her answer "Things happen. Period." even though it seemed to me like the host was trying to get her to add "...for a reason". I'm not sure the host really understood Kate's views on that ahead of time.

My biggest take-away at this point from the book is just that. "Things happen. Period." We so often feel the need to find or give a reason for upsetting things that happen in life, but really? Sometimes it's "just because" and trying to give or come up with an explanation will make one more depressed or crazy than not having one.

I was raised with the "guilt" stigmatism with the way religion was taught in my growing up home. That meant that every unfortunate thing needed to have some explanation of what BAD thing the person may have done to bring that on. It took years to break through that needless and senseless guilt of everything and anything that struck me over the years. (Guilt and cause, not to be confused with consequences for actions taken.)

Cancer is not a punishment. It just is.

I think that things just happen is one of my biggest takeaways too. For me one of the most profound passages about this is when Kate writes "I can't reconcile the way that the world is jolted by events that are wonderful and terrible, the gorgeous and the tragic. Except I am beginning to believe that these opposites do not cancel each other out...Life is so beautiful. Life is so hard." (p. 123)

Keely

Exactly Keely. Kate is so right " ...Life is so beautiful. Life is so hard." What we do with what we're given is up to the individual, be it beautiful or hard.