Support for Indie Authors discussion

I’m getting married in nine months, and “coincidentally” any incentive to sit down and continue writing my sequel have all but disappeared in thin air! How does an author keep focused during exciting life events when all one can think about is planning planning planning!? Are any of you going through something similar? Have you had any luck getting into writing mode? Oy

I sit down on set schedule with a word quota and write. That gets it done.

But I also write to escape when I am stressed about things, so if there is something big going on that I don't want to think about or want to procrastinate planning... I write. So my word counts might actually go up at extra stressful times of my life!

P.D. Workman (Pamela) wrote: "I sit down on set schedule with a word quota and write. That gets it done."

I wish I could just set a time for myself that way and settle into writing mode when the alarm went off. I do try to condition my mind into focusing when I'd like to write, but my mind doesn't exactly work that way. It often chooses when it's in writing mode and hates scheduled sessions, and when it does "decide" for me, I have to sit down and take advantage of the window of time.

But, like you, in stressful/emotional moments of my life, that's when I have had some of my greatest writing sessions. That's when I think more in depth about things and when my creativity soars. The excitement I'm feeling now is different from my moments of stress. It's like I'm addicted to planning. I've never been that way about planning an event, so this is new to me.

Leah wrote: "my mind doesn't exactly work that way. It often chooses when it's in writing mode and hates scheduled sessions"

I'm that kind as well. Maybe record your ideas (I believe you can talk to your phone to record it, for lack of better words) so you don't lose them and then work on them when you have the time? Just make sure the ideas you get when you can't write aren't lost and that you have something to go on when you have the time.

Give up and enjoy the moment! By the way, congratulations!

As a lifelong bachelorette who is now "past prime" age to marry, my unfulfilled lust is the primary motor of my writing. I always imagined that if I ever find a fulfilling relationship that would actually go somewhere, my drive would disappear for months, perhaps even years. That might be what's happening to you as well.

You may be passing through an emotional moment and you're used to write at that time, but you're feeling happy and your attention is put in a new life. That and being a productive writer? Forget it. Give yourself some slack.

Having children is also difficult to reconcile with writing. they do not really care about your schedule, even less when they're newborn, or, right now, 10 months old ;)
this said, the way I do it is simple: I discussed with my partner and we try to organise our time so that I can have a moment for my writing. Most of the time, it's working but, as life is life, not always.

I think that you have lots on your mind right now, it's not always easy to write when so many things are crammed in our brain. When somethig like that happens to me, I give myself a few days, then I try to being anew, with short session, 10-15 min, each day if possible it helps me go back to my schedule.

Anyway, congratulations!

Tomas, yes, that method of recording thoughts on my phone and elaborating later has worked quite well for me in the past. Just to get my mind off the wedding is the problem lol.

Thanks, Emmanuelle! That sounds like a good method. I actually got about 15 minutes in this morning for a first since the engagement, not long after I wrote this post! Movies that make me emotional often get me in the mood, as it happened this morning.

Haru, I can totally understand that! My fiancé actually said the same thing to me the other day. I’ll be 40 this year, but prior to this relationship, I never was really in a fulfilling relationship. Like you, I did most of my writing when I was “lustful” and single and taking solo trips all over the world. Maybe I should just drop him! No, I’m kidding hehe.

It is so hard for me to find a 'time" to write! It seems like other stuff is always coming up that needs to be taken care of. There just aren't enough hours in the day! When I'm in the "writing" mode, I keep notebook on my kitchen counter, one in the bathroom - I seem to get some really good ideas when I'm in the shower - go figure! Lol and also one in my nightstand. Sometimes when I'm drifting off to sleep, I get some really good ideas.

Lynn, that’s so funny. I can totally see that, having notebooks all over the house.

Leah wrote: "Lynn, that’s so funny. I can totally see that, having notebooks all over the house."

So do I... and have for years!

You have to figure out what works for you, of course. And those who have young children tend to have more difficulty finding time than those who don't.

If your writing time is important for you, schedule it first rather than trying to find time amongst everything else.

I get that it can be hard to produce "on demand", but if you keep at it, you will have more success than if you give up. I'm up two hours before anybody else in my household, and write over my noon hour, and then after supper when I don't have other commitments (so much easier now that I'm no longer homeschooling.)

There are exercises that you can do to "get the juices flowing" if you have problems writing when you have scheduled time. Morning pages/free writing, sprints, outlining ahead of time, whatever.

And sometimes, you just have to grab what time is available to you. Standing up commuting on the train writing on your phone. Two minutes while you're waiting for the pot to boil. Waiting in line at the grocery store. Watching your kid's baseball game. All of those stolen minutes can add up. You won't get as much written as you would with a longer block of time, but you'll get more written than if you don't take the opportunities you have.

That’s awesome, Sam!

P.D., you’re right. Getting into the habit of writing helps condition the mind to be in writer’s mode.

Congrats Leah! Life can certainly seem to get in the way, but what's better than anything is to just keep at it. I encourage you to prioritize writing and set aside a time that you can just sit and write, whether that mean getting up a bit earlier or taking an evening to just write and decline any other invitations or pressures during that time. It is not a selfish thing to do so don't feel guilty doing it!

Also, some people have suggested taking whatever few minutes to write to write and I totally agree! If you have 15 minutes to write, an hour, just write. Just sit and do it, it won't always be easy and you won't always progress as much as you like but half the battle of writing your first draft is just getting the words down! Editing can comes later and with such detailed work you can focus on a single sentence for a few minutes anyway you don't need a whole ton of time haha!

Keep on at it!

Great advice, Lydia! Thank you! I’m gonna try to write tomorrow before and after my wedding dress appointment, but it sure makes it hard to concentrate!

Congrats on the up coming wedding. I totally understand the excitement and lack of focus. It is difficult, but you need to evaluate where you are in your writing career. A lot of it depends on what you want out of your writing. If it's only a hobby, you fit it in where you can. If you are a serious writer, you schedule your time every day, and you write. It is a priority and you seldom skip a day, even on holidays and you write around your important events. It's like your day job. You don't take off unless it's absolutely necessary if you want to keep that job.

Writing is a job, and if you want to succeed, you treat it as such. But first you have to want success. Set up your priorities to suit your life and what you want out of writing.

If you are thinking, "I don't have time," I'll call you a liar. You do have time. Turn off the TV, forget that get together you are dreading, skip the cocktail party, ignore the fashion magazines, throw out the Enquirer, the trash can wait, use the dishwasher and quit making excuses or procrastinating. I carved 2-4 hours out of my daily schedule simply by turning off the TV and not playing games on the computer.

Again, if writing is a priority, you will find the time and block all the extraneous stuff out to write. As George Washington Caver said: "90% of all the failures in life have the habit of making excuses."

Congratulations!

If you have enough passion for writing and if your book wants to be written badly enough, you'll get it done. It may take longer than you anticipated, but eventually you'll get back to it.

I've always been fortunate enough in that nothing really pulls me from my writing for too long. Sometimes, though, you may have to alter your schedule some and make time for it. Get up a little earlier in the morning or go to bed later. Cut some time from entertainment. If you're able, work on your writing while at your "day job". As said, I never really feel pulled away from my writing, but these are things I've done to give myself more time when the desire to write has been burning and I feel I need more time with it. One thing I do that helps me on days when I feel a little unfocused is to pack up my lap top and go to a coffee shop or library and write. I'm too easily distracted at home.

In the end, you need to ask yourself, does it matter if your book gets written? If yes, then you'll find the time.

I've had points in my life where I've stopped writing for a year or more - on both these occasions I was too ill to write and I just stopped, and writing no longer felt like a priority. You clearly have the desire to write still, and I'm kind of torn between those who are saying take a break and those who are saying to make time. It's really a case of what feels right to you

I have always found that the longer the gaps I take between writing sessions the harder it is to get back into it, so writing regularly is definitely helpful if you can manage it. I think it can be a case of the more you write the more you want to write. Writing is my job now so I do it at set times and on the odd occasion that I sit down and don't feel like it I make myself do it anyway and I always get back into it quite quickly even if there is some initial resistance.

So I guess my advice is, if it is important to you to continue writing at the moment even with other things on your mind, try to do it regularly even if it's just a little bit so you don't lose track of where you got to in the story and begin to lose interest / motivation. Good luck with the writing and wedding planning, and congratulations on the engagement :)

B. A., it is a hobby, and something I do outside of my full time job, but my readers do expect a sequel, and I don’t want to disappoint, so I still take my writing seriously. I’m honest with my readers though. I’m a slow writer, but I want to condition myself to write even 15 minutes a day. And thank you!

Dwayne, the coffee shop method actually works fabulously for me. I should try that more often. Thank you!

There were years when the only time I had for writing was my 20 minute commute home on the train, standing up, writing with a stylus on my Palm Pilot. I was working full time and my high-needs child needed all of my time and attention when I was not working. And yes, that included at night when I held him all night long if I wanted him to sleep more than 20 minutes before waking up again. There are certainly circumstances where it is not just tv watching that is taking up your time and you are too exhausted at the end of the day to do anything but close your eyes. But do examine your life for those little opportunities and take them.

L.k., I live with a chronic disease, so I’ve taken months off writing when I wasn’t feeling it, too. My problem isn’t not having time; it’s not feeling in the writing mood, and especially not now that I’m planning a wedding. Like it has been mentioned above though, if it’s important to me, I have to condition myself get to that place. What concerns me most isn’t making money off my writing, but not letting down my readers who enjoyed book 1 and are awaiting a sequel. I was really hoping to finish it this year. Hey, I may still! I’m about 130 pages in and I have about 150 to go! But it’s so hard to stop myself from scrolling Amazon for the perfect wedding shoes or the perfect guest book lol.

P. D., for sure. Sounds like writing is very important to you. You’re like super mom!

Anyone who takes on this writing life is brave and courageous! But it is SO worth it

So true, Lynn.

Lynn wrote: "Anyone who takes on this writing life is brave and courageous! But it is SO worth it"

I still often think it's foolhardy but I have fun doing it so why not?

Everything leading up to a wedding is so life absorbing and seemingly monumental ... It's enough to focus on that and live the experience. Believe me, a few months after the wedding you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. It goes by so fast and is such a pain/joy/rush/stressful/happy/frustrating experience but it's only a few months of your life (of preparation culminating in only a few hours of one day!). Grab hold of all that and live it to the fullest ... then get back to writing when your soul tells you you have to.

I tend to agree with Micah. When I force myself to write while my mind is on other things, my writing feels forced. Also, if we sacrifice too much of our time for writing and ignore too much of life, we won't have anything to write about.

P.D. Workman (Pamela) wrote: "There were years when the only time I had for writing was my 20 minute commute home on the train, standing up, writing with a stylus on my Palm Pilot. I was working full time and my high-needs chil..."

Even when not feeling like writing, editing what you write the day before is a good way in. To make something immediately better by changing a few words is confidence-building, and reawakens your interest.

That is the way I get my muse up and working again - editing what I wrote the day before and then telling myself to write just one more sentence. I usually write for a good hour that way

Dwayne, and Micah, that it exactly how my writing brain works. If I’m not feeling in the mood, my writing does not come out as heartfelt and smooth. I usually don’t try to force myself to get to that place. But there are moments that my passions for writing are sparked, like when watching a movie that gets me in the writing mood, or like has been mentioned above, just editing previous chapters sometimes gets me interested in continuing the story. But Micah, you are so right. I’m sure after the wedding I’ll feel like, “did I really just dedicate my whole year to one day??” Ha. I do want to finish my book this year, and that’s what I had planned before my fiancé went and pulled me off the ski run in the middle of the forest and got on one knee! The nerve! Hehe

What a jerk. (kidding )

... Everybody go "Awwwwwwwwwwwww!"

Lol!

Leah wrote: "I’m getting married in nine months, and “coincidentally” any incentive to sit down and continue writing my sequel have all but disappeared in thin air! How does an author keep focused during exciti..."

Congrats on your impending nuptials! I went through a similar thing when I got engaged while in law school. Let's just say I had to sit out the rest of the semester. How I deal with it now is by making a dump list at night before bed - dumping everything in my brain that I have to do (and I mean everything) onto a list and prioritize it so it's not in my head. When I awake in the morning, the first thing I do is write. I have a personal goal of 500 words a day. When I hit that goal, I feel comfortable moving on to something else. Good luck. You can do them both successfully. You honestly need an escape from wedding planning, use writing.

Allyson, that’s a great method, too. We live, we learn, right?

Leah wrote: "Allyson, that’s a great method, too. We live, we learn, right?"

:-)