World, Writing, Wealth discussion

By definition, life is finite for us mortals. You have to think of those you leave behind. Wills, trusts, etc. of course. But what about very personal letters, journals, photos you'd not want them to see? I'm facing my mortality, thinking about my heirs, so I've burned mine. Anyone else thinking about this?

I remember going through my great aunt's (we called her AP) things after she passed away, and finding the most delightful little love notes from her husband, my Uncle Teddy. There's also a speeding fine, which has gone down in family legend, due to the circumstances.

I'm not much of a journal person, so there's no worries there.

Leaving a letter to be found "after" or "in case" somehow associates with people on expeditions, front line or clandestine mission afar from their family, but it might make sense in regular circumstances too.
It may sometimes feel sort of awkward to talk about grand/core things even between close people/family. Often it's the small talk, routines and practical issues. A written message may fill the gap of something missed between the lines.

I think there is a case for leaving written accounts of your life. I know when I found out that my father was dying, I felt that he had had quite an interesting life, but we had not discussed it, and now I couldn't. The difficulty is while the person is old but healthy, the young don't want to raise this issue because it is as if you are telling them the end is nigh. So leaving something for people that follow may help them.

I used to have some interesting conversations with a person who went by the name of Kenny here on Goodreads. I never broke bread with him or even met him in person, but the posts we exchanged were entertaining and often enlightening. Kenny was killed by a drunk driver and his heir elected to delete his Goodreads account. It was as if he died twice. Suddenly, his voice was gone from all of those threads, all we have is the other half of those conversations.

I have been stupid and awkward. I have posted things which I regret, and I have caused pain to those who did not deserve it. So have we all. I have also made a few people laugh, and tried to make good points. If my account were deleted the humor and thoughtfulness would be erased along with my failings. When I die, lock my account but do not delete it.

An interesting problem about accounts. I bet most heirs have no idea what the consequences will be. People should make sure their heirs are aware.

It is indeed an interesting problem. I suppose I shall leave a piece of paper with the passwords for all my accounts. But I don't think I shall want them deleted. A friend died very suddenly two years ago and I was glad I could look back at my interactions with him - important for me because I live away from my own country, and a lot of my relationships are online.

What I am leaving, though, is an autobiography of sorts - I published it in 2014. So if anyone really wants to know who I was, they'll find the answer in there.

Why bother to delete what a deceased wrote somewhere on the net or his/her account entirely?
Checked now the profile of my schoolmate who passed away last year and I see that at least his facebook is still there..

If anything, it's you who wants your own stuff deleted before you go so your loved ones don't see what embarrassing sites you've been visiting :D

Since I have become older I finally decided to do a will just in case something happens to me then I know things will be taken care of - hopefully. :)

As far as facebook, sometimes when people pass away, the families will leave the account up and running so that friends and family can leave tributes to that person.

When my parents passed away, I had to go through their things and I found all kinds of interesting things that they had kept since they were young.

I now call those things "my treasures " as they kept them all those years and I found it fascinating.

In my opinion, to delete a Facebook account or a Goodreads account of a deceased person is wrong as it is like erasing that person from existence.

I do not understand why anyone would delete an account on Goodreads. It is not harming anyone and it doesn't hurt leaving their comments, etc. up on this site.

What a strange thing to do and whoever deleted that account just didn't seem to care.

I have no problem with social media accounts being left 'online,' but no longer in operation for someone who has deceased.

I wouldn't want everything I've put up here erased simply because I had died.

One interesting question is, while currently data storage seems cheap, the inflow of stuff would seem to me to eventually led to someone saying, hold on, we can't keep maintaining all this ancient storage of what is essentially trash. Then they will say, there is too much to sort, so they will say, sorry but out with the lot. So, not only will you all eventually die, but also you will eventually be deleted.

Have I made your day? :-)

Well, yeah - a legacy left on social networks might not be perpetual.

J.J. wrote: "If anything, it's you who wants your own stuff deleted before you go so your loved ones don't see what embarrassing sites you've been visiting :D"

If one pretends to be a nun to disguise something else - then it might be better to self-delete rather than leave surprises to happy heirs -:)

I don't pretend to be a nun, but I also don't want my son to read about what I was experiencing as a single person raising him alone. So I got rid of my journals. Some people write journals intending them to be read, but mine were a kind of therapy and not to be shared. You have to think about what you leave behind for others to sort through. It's a kindness to get rid of extraneous stuff before you go.

I was the only person in my generation to take any interest in family heirlooms, so I hope there will be someone in the family who I can leave all this stuff to. There is a story behind every item, my great-great- grandparents portrait, my great grandmother's wedding dress from 1910, the Bohemian garnet brooch, the Edison victrola......it's all family history and I want to leave it to someone who will appreciate it.

It is hard to know what will be appreciated by those who remain. I have two portraits left by my wife of one of her ancestors - a musician/lesser composer who lived at the time of Beethoven/late Haydn. Will they want them? What will happen to them? Who knows?

Holly, my son and his wife will inherit the family heirlooms. I've written down what each means to our family. I hope they will mean as much to them as they have to me. But they may decide to sell them. That's okay. I won't be around to see what happens.