I'm PS Mokha and I have managed to write blurbs for my first two young adult fantasy novels. I'm now hoping for some constructive feedback. Any help is much appreciated.
Many thanks PS Mokha
The Last Sanctuary – Book 1
On their last night together, Lily’s sick grandpa reveals she will be sent to an orphanage. When Lily awakes the next day in the London Bridge Orphanage, she is surrounded by danger. With the help of new friends she discovers an ancient world and a prophecy with devastating consequences; three will arrive, one to give, one to die and one to live.
As enchanting as it is deadly, ancient Ammasaya is a world where Lily, Rose and Olivia must battle savage witches, devious goblins and deadly Death Legions. Life at school is no safer with menacing teachers burying secrets with unfathomable consequences. Surrounded by riddles and lies, who can Lily trust?
The idiot brothers, Flaim and Jacques, offer their unique input, with solutions that create more problems at a time when both worlds are at the crossroads of change.
The Fall of Refuge – Book 2 Being imprisoned in the London Bridge Orphanage will not prevent Lily, Olivia and Rose from stealing into London or the magical world of Ammasaya. A deadly way to relieve boredom, but a necessary one if they are to uncover their teachers’ secret plans. The girls also expose monstrous schemes by the wizard, Varkarus Vollraath, as his goal of locating the orphanage and murdering all within draws near.
If the girls are to foil his deadly plans, one of them must make the ultimate sacrifice. But which one?
The idiot brothers, Jacques and Flaim, stumble upon the truth of their past. Their discoveries lead them to make disastrous judgments about their future, with a thundering impact that irrevocably alters the lives of every child at the London Bridge Orphanage forever.
I'm PS Mokha and I have managed to write blurbs for my first two young adult fantasy novels. I'm now hoping for some constructive feedback. Any help is much appreciated.
Many thanks
PS Mokha
The Last Sanctuary – Book 1
On their last night together, Lily’s sick grandpa reveals she will be sent to an orphanage. When Lily awakes the next day in the London Bridge Orphanage, she is surrounded by danger. With the help of new friends she discovers an ancient world and a prophecy with devastating consequences; three will arrive, one to give, one to die and one to live.
As enchanting as it is deadly, ancient Ammasaya is a world where Lily, Rose and Olivia must battle savage witches, devious goblins and deadly Death Legions. Life at school is no safer with menacing teachers burying secrets with unfathomable consequences. Surrounded by riddles and lies, who can Lily trust?
The idiot brothers, Flaim and Jacques, offer their unique input, with solutions that create more problems at a time when both worlds are at the crossroads of change.
The Fall of Refuge – Book 2
Being imprisoned in the London Bridge Orphanage will not prevent Lily, Olivia and Rose from stealing into London or the magical world of Ammasaya. A deadly way to relieve boredom, but a necessary one if they are to uncover their teachers’ secret plans. The girls also expose monstrous schemes by the wizard, Varkarus Vollraath, as his goal of locating the orphanage and murdering all within draws near.
If the girls are to foil his deadly plans, one of them must make the ultimate sacrifice. But which one?
The idiot brothers, Jacques and Flaim, stumble upon the truth of their past. Their discoveries lead them to make disastrous judgments about their future, with a thundering impact that irrevocably alters the lives of every child at the London Bridge Orphanage forever.